â48% of Domestic Violence Victims Donât Leave Because They Canât Bring Their Pets.â
I don't know about you, but I nearly burst into tears when I read this.
There's a movement called, The Purple Leash Project that's helping domestic violence shelters be pet friendly. Watch my video to see how you can help! Debra
https://youtu.be/Ip2hROo9jNc
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One of the most popular videos on my YouTube channel is Dealing with Grief Over the Loss of a Pet. I made the video more than two years ago and since then it has received 9,700 views, and approximately 350 comments. I'll post the video at the bottom of this post.
I have replied to every single one of those comments. And Iâm not lying or exaggerating when I say that while replying to about 99% of them, I did so with tears rolling down my cheeks.
Losing a pet is absolutely terrible no matter how it happens.
All of the comments on that video offered a description of sadness, despair, loss, depression, and even people who felt absolutely hopeless about how they were going to go on without their beloved pet.
The best advice I think anyone can give is to stay busy and allow time to pass. There is just no way to solve how severe the pain is when it first happens. We really donât have any other choice but to bite the bullet and wait it out. Itâs only after some time has passed that we can begin to calm down and heal.
It's Never Your Fault
I am always extremely sad when someone says they think their pet's death was their fault. Iâm sad for two reasons: one is that I know what that feels like. I, too, have had instances where I've lost a dog or a cat and afterwards thought that I could have done something to prevent it. Had I done this, had I done thatâŠ
The second reason it upsets me is because I know that it is not the person's fault. If their cat was sick and they didnât realize it, and if they only wouldâve realized it sooner and taken them to the vet, maybe the cat would have survived. If the pet wasnât eating and they were so busy in their daily life that they didnât realize that the food bowl wasnât going down as quickly as usual. If the pet got dehydrated and they didnât realize they werenât drinking enough water. If they mistakenly left the front door open and their pet ran out and was hit by a car. Iâve even heard stories about someoneâs cat falling out the window of a multi-story apartment building.
Devastating.
But the thing is, we are human beings. We make mistakes. We donât know everything. Seriously...you donât know until you know.
Weâre all doing the very best we can. No one, not one of us, has ever gotten up in the morning and said to ourselves, âI think Iâll hurt my pet today." Seriously. No one ever has the intention of harming their pet in any way.
Do we make mistakes as pet owners? Yes. Just like we make mistakes in every other area of our lives.
But let me present you with these thoughts:
First, you cannot possibly know everything. Cats, for example, will go to great lengths to hide their illness. Itâs one of their survival instincts. So as a cat owner, most likely if your cat is having a health problem, theyâre going to be quite ill before they show any signs of it. You cannot blame yourself for that.
A young dog, for example, just like a human toddler, will run and play with a fever of 103. Itâs not until they drop that we realize they have that high a fever. Theyâll keep going and keep going, even if they are sick.
You canât blame yourself for not having magical powers to see everything. And you also canât blame yourself for not being a veterinarian, and not knowing absolutely everything about pets.
Iâll leave you with a thought that has made an enormous difference for me in my life.
I lost my mother approximately 17 years ago. She died from cancer, over a seven-month period, in my home, and in my care. Even though 17 years have passed, I still struggle with guilt. All the same things we're talking about here; what if I had done this, what if I had done that, what if I had seen the signs sooner, the list goes on and on.
So I am constantly looking for books, or articles or YouTube videos trying to find ways for me to cope with that guilt because itâs difficult. Even 17 years later.
The best advice I have received thus far regarding feeling guilty over the loss of a loved one, whether it be a person, or a pet is this: If you are feeling guilty...in my case, still feeling guilty after 17 yearsâŠthen that alone speaks to your character. Just the fact that youâre watching a YouTube video trying to get help with coping with the loss of your pet. The fact that you are crying over the loss of your pet. The fact that you are devastated that your pet is no longer with you. The fact that you are actually blaming yourself and feeling guilty about the way your pet passed.
This speaks to your character.
I think as pet owners we have to cut ourselves some slack. We do the best we can, based on our resources, based on our schedules and other life demands, And based on whatever amount of experience and knowledge we have at any given moment of our lives. The longer you own pets, the more experiences you will have, and the more you will know.
You donât know until you know.
Much Love...Debra
Grieving the Loss of a Pet
https://youtu.be/eCfjC87_hKc
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In tomorrow's video, we'll discuss 6 myths about cats and dogs you might be surprised aren't true! I'll include 3 common cat myths and 3 common dog myths. I'll also refer you to a cat expert and a dog expert for more facts you'll be shocked to learn. Seriously. I totally believed some of these! Thanks for watching! Debra
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I believe that most pet owners truly love and care about their pets and would never do anything to hurt them intentionally. However, there are some serious mistakes many pet owners make that can not only lead to all sorts of health problems, but can even result in shortening the pet's life. In tomorrow's video, we'll discuss 9 mistakes pet owners make and how you can avoid them to help your pet stay happy and healthy! In the meantime, please feel free to read my post! Debra
peoplelovinganimals.com/9-mistakes-pet-owners-makeâŠ
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Welcome to PeopleLovingAnimals.com on YouTube! đ¶đ± Here youâll find compassionate advice to help with dog training, cat training, pet care, and pet health. My goal is to help you solve common problems and give you the tools to be the best pet owner you can be!
Topics include stopping dog barking, biting, chewing, leash pulling, separation anxiety, and aggression; crate training, puppy training, and dog obedience basics; cat litter box training, spraying, scratching, biting, meowing, and cat behavior issues. Youâll also find help with senior dog care, senior cat care, choosing the best pet food, pet insurance, flea and tick prevention, and keeping pets safe in all seasons.
I also share guidance on coping with pet loss, supporting rescues, and understanding your petâs body language. Subscribe for help with pet care, health, and trainingâso you and your pets can enjoy a happier, healthier life together. â€ïž ~ Debra