Many people think they‘re good people, are actually loving and giving.
They can talk and talk about how capable they are of empathy and understanding.
But when it comes down to the action of it, they fall short.
Some are actually giving in many ways, but in terms of giving you what really matters to you, they get defensive and loop around ’’how much they are giving in so many other ways’’.
If you’re incapable of receiving feedback about your behavior from people, you will lose them eventually.
Learn to listen, understand if you’re in the wrong, course correct, stop gaslighting and being defensive, show empathy, put yourself in the other’s shoes and try hard to see from their point of view your wrong doing.
You could be loving in many ways and yes that makes you a quote on quote good person.
However, being a good person does not automatically mean you are capable of being empathetic ’’when the other person needs it most’’, and it does not automatically mean ’’you have no flaws’’, you can’t do any wrong, and you’re above receiving feedback and course correcting.
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There are two types of emotional reactions.
One that belongs to you, your past, and has nothing to do with the other person and that which you should own and heal and take responsibility thereof.
The second type of reaction is when you’re expressing genuine hurt, because the other person did cross a boundary in some way.
The first one, is yours to fix.
The second one, is on the other person.
Do not mix the two.
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The narcissistic ego CANNOT differentiate between :
1 - ’’ I caused their emotional reaction with my abusive behavior’ ’.
2 - ’’ Their reaction comes from their past ’’.
In fact, they will try to make you believe that despite their abuse, your hurt is always your responsibility, your ’’trigger’’ and yours to fix.
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Stop avoiding blame, own your actions, apologize and make amends. Self-deception is what perpetuates your abusive behavior towards self and other because it keeps the lie going ’’ it’s not me, it’s them’’.
When in reality, it’s you.
Healing can ’’only genuinely start’’ once you own your past, and your present behavioral dysfunction.
It is for this reason, many people in therapy do not get better.
This is because they seek out therapy and coaching for validation, self-pity and chit chat. Even if they engage in psychodynamic processes, they may omit information, or run away once things get too deep.
Not all, but many coaches and therapists alike would love to keep the cash flowing and keep a client, and it is up to you to tell them ’’what you want to fix and heal’’ and if you’re only there for symptom management, your dysfunctional behavior will never be fixed.
You’ll be doing self-improvement just to ’’look good for yourself’’ and ’’on paper’’.
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If something is backed up by scientific research, it doesn’t mean it will ’’always‘‘ be applicable and beneficial to your own unique situation. At times, even intuitive knowledge can guide you in the right direction more effectively.
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"I don't need to learn from others, I'm spiritual and connected to universal intelligence".
"Knowledge cannot come out of thin air, energy; collective unconscious; oneness, it can only come from books and mentors".
Both of these views are incomplete. Planning a video series on "Spiral Dynamics" on The Journey in the near future.
Stay Tuned.
If you would like to dive deeper into the first concept (spiritual wisdom), check out my video on how to generate creative ideas by connecting to universal intelligence : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ol11J...
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Watch One Of The Most Detailed Explanations Of Avoidant Attachment Style.
New Video Up!
watch video on watch page
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Instant Release Of Negative Thoughts & Emotions :
Gratitude And Perspective Taking In Combination Are Extremely POWERFUL when used in this way.
In this new video we explore the 3 most powerful ways to stop negative thoughts, negative thinking and negative emotions before it is too late.
Enjoy.
watch video on watch page
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Welcome to The Journey!
Each mask symbolizes a paradigm. Whenever you reach a new paradigm the mind grants you access to higher quality thoughts. This Channel started off with book reviews in psychology. I have accessed a higher space from which I could share endlessly beyond the limitations of the written; the goal of which is to help you release trauma, present mental/emotional blocks and achieve higher states of consciousness; prosperity on all levels.
Topics :
- Practical Self-help (Fix low self-esteem, anxiety; limiting beliefs, etc).
- Understand And Heal Your Attachment Style.
- Advanced-Practical Shadow Work.
- Depth Psychology (Jung).
- Dark Triad Personalities (Learn to defend from dangerous personalities).
- Spirituality, Awakening and Enlightenment.
Shadi is a Transformational Coach with a BA in Psychology using the following methods: Shamanic Shadow Work, Energy Healing, Inner unity, Metacognitive Training, Awakened States of Consciousness For Blockage Release.