Big thanks to my friend @Tom Papa and @Nambé
PRESALE CODE: WONDERFUL. Get your tickets at JimGaffigan.com.
New 2026 tour dates are here. Tickets on PRESALE, this Wed 11/5 at 10am local JimGaffigan.com
What do Abraham Lincoln, Gandolff, and Jesus have in common?
I can't dress up and knock on a neighbor's door anymore without being arrested.
Because nothing says 'elegance' more than chicken and waffles.
Because hunting a cow is a "man's job".
As if getting a scale as a gift wasn't already a slap in the face…
You won't learn that from 23andMe.
FYC Grammy The Skinny - Best Comedy Album #grammys
I love it, but it's a little irresponsible.
Are these the most annoying people ever?
Fries can’t get cold. Shakes can’t get warm.
I don’t see geography.
The emergency hike prep
Who doesn't love hanging out in the drug store?
Yeah, that’s right… I'm walking on water!
Dying to join a gated community.
Happy Fall season!
I'm in a mood.
Who’s your favorite billionaire astronaut?
Three floors. One bad idea.
When the moving sidewalk ends, so does my grace.
Does anyone still go to bars?
Went on a safari - it's basically just creepy people-watching with zebras.
Dads on vacation.
Can’t breathe ≠ joy.
I majored in finance. I understand nothing.
Sharing desserts is a con.
I saw Drake. Just kidding—I saw my hotel pillow.
Grandpa Joe is my hero
Someone definitely hit the call button
I’ll just sit this one out.
Attractive guys = Attractive women?
Hands up if you love getting blamed for things you didn't do
One gutter ball and I’m blaming the ball.
Weddings: the fantasy before the credit card bill.
Dateline taught me one thing: most marriages end in concrete blocks.
I grew up in a place that was just different
Natural selection really missed me
Chinese restaurant desserts
The parental crystal ball.
No dairy, no coffee, just vibes.
La Tomatina starts. Somewhere, a tomato just flinched.
When was the last time you read a real book?
Mixing friend groups is a high-stakes lie.
Dumb men
Kids make your standards change pretty quickly
X
About
Welcome to my official YouTube channel! I'm always touring with new material. THE SKINNY is now streaming on @Hulu Check out Jim Gaffigan: The Skinny on Hulu! www.hulu.tv/TheSkinny. Check out Fathertime-Bourbon.com
Stand up comedian, writer and actor.
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Joined 26 February 2009
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