You have to understand that broccoli isn't really green. It's really purple, and the smurfs who control the government inject colorblind enzymes into our lower calves the moment we're born so that we will never see broccoli in it's true glory.
How do I know this?
The Lama at Dharamsala whose accent sounded just fine to me escaped the injection when his parents hid him in Blake's shoes.He grows broccoli among the mists of his adobe underneath a precipice and every night sleeps among the albeit purple miniscule trees that grow in groves like mushrooms.
I need to pee.