Through God's grace and mercy and the help of a 12 step program, today WE celebrate 9 YEARS CLEAN 🙌🏽❤️🙏🏽
All I can say is that I’m grateful, truly grateful..!! I thank God I stayed clean, even during the moments I wanted to give up. A lot has happened since the days of detoxing on my mother’s couch. I’ve lost count of all the blessings that have occurred in my life. Recently my fiancé and I picked a date for our wedding, bought a new home, and are ready to start the next chapter in our lives. I’m so fortunate that I’ve remained open minded enough to allow spiritual principles to work in my life. That’s really all recovery is, a blue print on how to live life, I just have to be willing to follow directions, suggestions and take advice. It’s been a long road and I’ve witnessed too many people use, relapse and die.. so please if you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to get help ❤️
Today, I will trust the process, practice the steps, and learn to better accept myself.
Whether you choose to believe in the 12 steps or not, there’s no doubt that practicing spiritual principals, the ones contained in the 12 steps, makes your life tremendously better.
When God gives me the opportunity to practice honesty, faith, trust, unconditional love, acceptance… it only helps me grow in this recovery process. And listen this can be really hard, to do something right when we’re so used to doing something wrong. It’s uncomfortable, but by living a God centered, solution oriented life.. my faith increases, and increases to the point where I have more confidence and determination to handle and conquer difficult times.
It might feel uneasy surrendering to a situation that doesn’t go my way, and it can be hard being honest when I made a mistake, caused damage and hurt someone else, but this is how I grow. This how I evolve and become the person I’ve always wanted to be.
Everyone take a second and help me congratulate my beautiful fiancé for celebrating 5 YEARS CLEAN TODAY 🥳🥰🤗
I can’t even begin to tell you how happy this girl makes me. I appreciate her more than she’ll ever know. She is truly my better half.
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I am STILL in awe and amazed by your story. From where you once were to where you are today, it’s nothing short of a miracle. I am proud to call myself your “ soon to be husband “ You are truly a magnificent mother, life partner and friend. I thank God everyday for what we have, because what we have is pure, rare and special. I am seriously so excited for our next chapter 🤗 I love you ❤️
105 months without a drink or a drug 🙌🏽
It’s still mind blowing, I went from thinking that I was going to die a using drug addict and alcoholic to living a life that I never believed was possible. Recovery has taught me how to show up, handle my emotions, most of the time think logically, consistently find spiritual solutions..not only find solutions but also search for the willingness to execute them.
The other night I was walking back and fourth in my dining/living room area praying. I was just vocally expressing my deepest gratitude for where I’m at in life. To me, recovery has never lost its shock value. I still get that “ Wow “ feeling. That feeling of amazement, being in the state of awe, simply because I’m clean.
It’s almost like when you get a new car. At first you’re keeping it clean, flawless.. not smoking or eating in it, watching out for potholes, washing the rims everyday etc. You truly handle it with care and caution. A month later you’re blazing Misty Slims 100’s while driving, ash going everywhere.. McDonald’s French fries falling in between the seats, hitting curbs.. Now it’s not a new car, it’s just a car. That void that it was filling is already empty again.
Or like the first day you get out of jail. You get to smoke cigarettes, eat incredible food, see the family, friends, enjoy the weather etc.. then day two you’re just like “ it’s whatever “.
That’s never happened with recovery. It never gets old. I mean sure I’ve had those moments where maybe life seems boring, monotonous or I feel like recovery isn’t paying.. But when I encounter negative thoughts and feelings I do what is necessary to quickly get on point again. I refuse to wallow in pity and fear. I see the good even during my darkest times. My problems are great, every single one of them. My sincere attempt to build a relationship with God blossomed into a belief, a belief that I am always in the care of. It’s hard to lack gratitude when I remember where I’ve came from. I have remain grateful for it all. The joy, the pain, the triumph and the agony. My life could be falling apart, piece by piece, and I’m still going to be screaming “ Thank you God “.
104 months without a drink or a drug 🙏🏽
“ Under any and all circumstances, no matter what, I will not use any drugs or alcohol “ That is a phrase I say every day of my life. I don’t just recite it, I feel, live and believe it.
I know that life isn’t easy, and some days are much harder than others, but if you’ve escaped the horrors of addiction and alcoholism, even for a brief moment.. I salute you ❤️
So much has changed in the last 8 1/2 years. From the way I think, how I act, to the way I view the world. Life can get extremely hard, but the question will always be “ How will I handle it? “
I used to be the person who would self sabotage his life at the drop of a hat. If something didn’t go my way, I would just give up and throw in the towel. If I got bored, I’d use. If I had my heart broken, I’d use. If I was scared, I’d use… I did absolutely anything not to feel. I was never the one to hide my relapses while suffocating in my own secrets and short comings. Today, I can feel down, have moments where I wallow in regret and think tremendously negative.. but I’m dead serious when I say that I am so grateful for the life I live.
When I first got clean I was taught to be honest, open, transparent… and those are principles I’ve always attempted to carry, even through my music. I’ve always felt, the more honest and open I was, the better chance I have at not repeating the same mistakes. The times when I was moving through the dark, silent and closed off, I felt it hindered my spiritual growth. Even when I was caught up and my life was in shambles I felt that it was imperative to let people know where I was at and what I was thinking. I’ve witnessed too many people die from being dishonest. I never cared about people judging me, I’ve always been on a mission to save my life.. regardless of how many times I fell short.
We picked a date..!!! ☺️💍👰🏽♀️🤵🏽♂️❤️
Happy New Year everyone 🥳❤️ Hope everybody had a safe night. Thank you ALL for the support this last year. Much more music coming in 2024 🙏🏽
Merry Christmas Everyone ❤️🎅🏽 Hope everybody had a safe holiday.
A Hip Hop artist from Pittsburgh, Pa.