โ๐ฎ๐๐
, ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐.โ ~๐น๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐ต๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ธ
I originally wrote the reflection below as part of a nursing school assignment, but the experience felt too meaningful to keep to myself. As many of you know, this channel has become a space for exploring healing and transformation, through reflection, vulnerability, and the power of shared words. I have been reading from Alcoholics Anonymous and sharing passages from the Big Book in recent videos, and this reflection is a natural continuation of that journey. What I witnessed at the AA meeting I took part in today left a lasting impression on me, and I wanted its impact to extend beyond the classroom. With a few thoughtful edits to protect privacy, I am sharing it here in the hope that it gives you something to think about.
Here is a link to a video that I published on November 8th, 2024, about the Serenity Prayer (quoted above) commonly used in 12-step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous: https://youtu.be/NsjCDcmfnAU?si=JS-qi...
~~~~~
On Wednesday, July 2nd, 2025, I attended an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting held from 1:00 p.m. to 2:00 p.m. at a church in Phoenix, AZ. This was my first time attending an AA meeting, and I approached the experience with a sense of curiosity and cautious respect. Prior to the meeting, I expected the environment to be solemn and emotionally intense, and I wondered whether my presence as an observer would feel intrusive. To prepare, I familiarized myself with AAโs background and guiding principles, including its 12-step program. I anticipated that the meeting would involve emotionally vulnerable stories, structured readings, and possibly a strong spiritual tone.
Alcoholics Anonymous is, at its core, a self-help support group for people seeking recovery from alcohol use disorder. It provides a structured, peer-led path through which individuals support each other in maintaining sobriety. What makes AA especially significant is its focus on long-term connection and inner transformation. The foundation of the program lies in its 12 steps, beginning with an acknowledgment of oneโs powerlessness over alcohol and the unmanageability of life as a result. As the steps progress, they emphasize honesty, accountability, spiritual development, and service to others. The program allows each individual to define his or her own concept of a Higher Power, thus making it inclusive across diverse belief systems. AA involves more than abstaining from alcohol; it fosters a new way of living grounded in community with others who understand the struggle firsthand.
When I arrived at the meeting, my expectations were quickly challenged. As soon as I opened the door, several attendees warmly greeted me, reassuring me that I was โin the right placeโ before I had even introduced myself. The room had a welcoming and humble atmosphere, with chairs arranged in a circle and AA-related materials lining the walls, including a quote by Socrates, the Serenity Prayer, and pamphlets about addiction and recovery. There were ten people in attendance, including myself. The group read together from the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, with each person taking turns to read a paragraph or two. They were nearing the end of Step 1: โWe admitted we were powerless over alcoholโthat our lives had become unmanageable.โ After reading, several members shared personal experiences and reflections related to this step. Others simply passed without speaking, and that choice was honored without question or judgment.
A central theme that emerged during the meeting was the deep value of the AA community in each personโs recovery journey. Many of the attendees had been sober for years or even decades, and they spoke of the role that AA had played in giving them purpose, accountability, and a sense of belonging. Some spoke of their spiritual growth and of finding their own concept of a Higher Power. One woman, for instance, shared that she had been drinking since she was ten years old and that discovering her personal God through AA had helped her find meaning and strength. A man spoke about how, although his primary addiction was to cocaine, AA was the only long-term recovery method that worked for him, helping him recognize his issues with alcohol in a new light. Another woman remarked that someone she knew had managed to quit drinking without AA but did not seem to experience the same level of joy and connection that she and others had found through the program.
The group was particularly supportive of a woman who was attending the meeting for the first time. Everyone welcomed her like a little sister, guiding her through the process and showing her the ropes. This moment was a powerful testament to the inclusiveness and warmth that AA fosters. At the end of the meeting, we all stood in a circle, held hands, and recited a closing prayer together. Joining in this ritual created a sense of unity that was both grounding and moving. I had expected to feel like an outsider, but instead, I felt genuinely honored to be part of such sincere vulnerability and connection.
One new insight I gained from the meeting was that not everyone who benefits from AA initially identifies alcohol as their primary issue. The man who spoke about his cocaine addiction had not seen alcohol as a problem until he began working the steps and reflecting more deeply on his behavior. This showed me how AAโs structure can be transformative beyond the surface-level symptoms of addiction, guiding people into more honest relationships with themselves. The advantages of AA meetings are many: they provide a consistent structure, a strong sense of community, and a space where individuals can share without judgment. The disadvantages might include discomfort for those who struggle with group settings, or for those who are put off by the spiritual framing of the program, even though it is not religious in the formal sense.
This experience has significantly influenced how I will approach care for patients with addictions in my nursing practice. It reminded me that healing from addiction requires more than detox or medication; it requires connection, trust, and the opportunity to rebuild oneโs life with support. I now see the value of recommending self-help groups like AA as a complement to clinical care, especially for patients seeking meaning, accountability, and community. Attending this meeting shifted my perspective: I expected to observe a support group, but I encountered something much deeperโa living example of resilience, grace, and human transformation.
11 - 3
โ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐; ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.โ ~๐ญ๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐ป๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฒ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐งก
I wrote the reflection below as part of an assignment for the first week of my psychiatric mental health rotation in nursing school. As with everything I do, especially in school, I poured my heart and soul into it. I did not want it to sit unread or go to waste. I wanted it to reach others, to resonate with someone, to maybe even inspire. That is why I am sharing it here with you now. One of my many dreams is to become a psychiatristโsomeone who not only helps others heal, but also lights a path forward. This rotation has been the most personally resonant part of my training so far, and I am giving it everything I have.
~~~~~
From the very start of this rotation in psychiatric mental health nursing, I have been struck by the emotional depth and complexity of caring for individuals with mental illness. Prior to this rotation, I completed a month-long psychiatry rotation during medical school, where I was exposed to both inpatient and outpatient psychiatric care. That earlier experience laid a foundational understanding of psychiatric diagnoses, medications, and patient interactions. However, this current rotation feels more grounded and personal, as I am now entering these clinical encounters with the lens of a nurse, focusing more deeply on therapeutic presence, daily care, and advocacy.
I view psychiatric-mental illness not simply as a category of pathology, but as a deeply human experience that reflects the complexity of the mind, social context, trauma, and resilience. Individuals with psychiatric illness are too often misrepresented or dehumanized. This week confirmed my belief that empathy, patience, and open communication are critical tools in caring for this population. My initial concern coming into this rotation was whether I could remain grounded in emotionally intense or ethically complex situations. This weekโs experiences reassured me. During our hearing voices simulation, I gained a visceral sense of how disorienting and exhausting it can be to live with auditory hallucinations. I also witnessed the emotional burden of psychiatric hospitalization during a court hearing I observed while at the psych ward, where a patient who seemed pleasant and grounded was ruled to have poor insight and required long-term treatment. Speaking with her beforehand and forming a connection over our shared musical preferences reminded me that insight and reality are not always easily defined.
My goals for this rotation include strengthening my therapeutic communication skills, learning how to assess patients more holistically, and better understanding how nurses advocate for vulnerable patients, especially in legal and medication-related matters. I also want to reflect more deeply on the ethical tensions between autonomy and safety, especially in involuntary treatment settings. Compared to my expectations, this first week has been both emotionally rich and intellectually stimulating. I found myself feeling compassion more viscerally than I expected and was reminded that true psychiatric care requires not only knowledge, but courage, cultural humility, and the willingness to sit with ambiguity.
11 - 1
I came to Walden; or, Life in the Woods for the first time as a junior in high school, during a period when life felt tangled and heavy. I did not yet have the words for what I was feeling, but the philosopher, naturalist, and writer Henry David Thoreau (1817โ1862) seemed to understand. His reflections gave shape to something I had only sensed: that there is a rhythm beneath the noise, a way of living that listens instead of hurries. Walden gave me room to breathe and helped me begin to sort out what truly matters.
This playlist gathers the pieces of that influenceโvideos I have made about passages that moved me, challenged me, or stayed with me long after I first read them. These reflections are my way of staying close to the spirit of the book and offering something of that stillness and clarity to others who might need it, as I once did. ๐ฉต
youtube.com/playlist?list=PLH...
5 - 5
โ๐พ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.โ ~๐ฏ๐๐๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐
๐ป๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ โ๐ฌ๐๐๐๐๐๐โ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐พ๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐ธ
Over the last couple of weeks, I have been slowly reading the first chapter of Henry David Thoreauโs Walden, titled โEconomy.โ I first encountered this book in high school, though at the time I read every chapter except the first. Now, years later, I am finally starting at the beginning, and I will be continuing through the rest with fresh eyes. There is something special about returning to a book at a different stage of life, when experience has ripened your questions and made your attention more tender.
This particular quote (see above) stood out to me because it draws attention to the often unnoticed power of self-perception. So much of our path is shaped by the silent story we carry about who we are. If that inner story is laced with doubt, shame, or smallness, it becomes a kind of invisible gravity pulling us away from growth. But if it is rooted in love, in truth, and in dignity, we begin to live and act more freely and more fully.
I have been thinking lately about how much of my own fate has been tied to what I believed about myself, especially in younger years. Peer pressure did not always come in loud or obvious forms; sometimes, it was the pressure to abandon my own intuition, to quiet my inner voice in favor of belonging, to wear masks that slowly blurred the face beneath them. The opinions of others became a mirror I measured myself against. All the while, my spirit was pulling me in a different direction, urging me to cultivate a true sense of self from within.
But time and grace are patient teachers. As I learn to listen more carefully to the inner nudges, the unspoken discontent, and the longing for a more honest life, I find myself softening toward the past and standing more firmly in the present. The work of reclaiming oneโs fate begins in the innermost, often hidden spaces within. The story we believe about ourselves today can lay the foundation for a very different tomorrow.
5 - 1
โ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
.โ ~๐ญ๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐ป๐๐ ๐ฐ๐
๐๐๐ ๐งก
I came across a red hibiscus at Desert Ridge Marketplace here in Phoenix, AZ, a while ago, nestled within the structured decor of the mall. It had been placed thereโdeliberately, perhaps thoughtlesslyโas part of the background hum of consumer life. And yet, despite its setting, it caught my attention with quiet insistence. In the midst of concrete, signage, and foot traffic, it bloomed with a kind of integrity that felt out of place, and for that reason, all the more striking.
It reminded me of why I create. I do not write or speak because I believe I have something definitive to teach. I create because I believe in the possibility that language, shaped with care and sincerity, can form a bridge, however fragile, between selves. When I share my thoughts in my videos, I am not offering conclusions, but invitations: to pause, to feel, to wonder. Beneath the surface of our ordinary lives, I believe that there is a deeper terrainโone where uncertainty is welcome, where wounds are not hidden, and where truth begins to breathe.
Dostoevsky wrote, โBeauty will save the world.โ It is a statement that sounds idealistic at first, but when heard more deeply, it becomes an ethical call. Beauty, in this sense, is not ornament or luxury. It is what remains when we resist the impulse to perform. It is the trace of something sincere. And it often appears in the unnoticed, the quiet, and the ordinary made luminous by attention.
That hibiscus did not change its essence because of where it had been placed. It responded to light, to water, to time. It did what it was made to do: it bloomed. And in that simple act, it reminded me that authenticity does not require ideal conditions. In fact, it may be because of imperfect conditions that authenticity matters most. Creation, for me, is not an effort to perfect myself or my work. It is an act of listening inward, of translating the intangible, of becoming transparent to something larger than ego.
The hibiscus asked for nothing. It did not demand notice. And yet, it spoke without words, of presence, of persistence, of a kind of quiet beauty that does not seek validation. That is the kind of beauty I want to cultivate in my work: not the kind that performs, but the kind that opens. Not to impress, but to connect. Not to dominate space, but to make space.
Even in the midst of a mall, beauty found a way to speak. Perhaps that is our calling as well: to remain open to what is true, to keep creating even when it seems no one is listening, and to allow that process to form us into something more fully human.
15 - 1
โ๐พ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐? ๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ โ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.โ ~๐ฑ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐พ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฎ๐๐๐๐๐ โจ
I first shared this video in March 2022, at the age of almost 26, speaking on the importance of celebrating othersโ successes even when they highlight our own unmet desires. Now, as I watch friends and acquaintances graduate from medical school while I step back to rebuild after leaving at the end of my third year, this lesson resonates more deeply.
Envy has a way of quietly settling in, especially when our paths diverge from those we once walked alongside. Yet, I remind myself that joy is not a finite resource. Rejoicing in othersโ achievements does not diminish our own worth or potential.
This video serves as a gentle nudgeโa reminder that embracing othersโ light can illuminate our own journey. Even in moments of pause or redirection, we are still becoming. May this message offer solace to anyone feeling behind, reminding us that every path is unique, and every step, forward or backward, is part of our unfolding story.
watch video on watch page
10 - 1
โ๐ฐ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.โ ~๐น๐๐๐๐ ๐พ๐๐๐
๐ ๐ฌ๐๐๐๐๐๐ โฅ๏ธ
Last December, I wrote this journal entry as a reflection on the alliance of mind and heart, a theme woven through Ralph Waldo Emersonโs essay Worship. It was written during a season of inner searching, when I felt the need to reconnect with the deeper currents beneath my thoughts. Revisiting it now, I am reminded of how easily the intellect can lose its light when it is no longer rooted in love, and how essential it is to cultivate both clarity of mind and purity of heart.
When I lose sight of what is eternal and become absorbed in the pursuit of achievement, recognition, or control, I begin to feel disconnected. My thoughts grow restless, my actions feel strained, and my sense of purpose becomes clouded. There is a kind of hollowness that enters when the mind is driven by ego rather than guided by something higher.
But when I turn my attention back to what is lastingโtruth, love, beauty, and the presence of the divineโmy inner world begins to settle. My thinking becomes clearer and more spacious, and my actions feel aligned with something deeper than myself. In those moments, I remember that true growth comes not from striving, but from remaining oriented toward the sacred.
~~~~~
I published a video titled โThe Alliance of Mind and Heartโ on December 19th, 2024, in which I shared this journal entry in full, with added commentary. Here is a link to the video: https://youtu.be/5LLr-zgwnwg?si=QYUzy...
8 - 6
โ๐ซ๐๐โ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ผ๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.โ ~๐น๐๐๐ ๐ฉต
Last week, I completed my second term of nursing school. I am currently enrolled in an accelerated Bachelor of Science in Nursing program and am on track to graduate in December of this year. One of my final assignments for the term was to write a โFinal End of Rotation Journalโ reflecting on my experiences during my Medical-Surgical clinical rotation.
Rather than allow my writingโand the experiences it capturesโto fade into obscurity, I have chosen to share it more broadly in the hope that it may resonate with others. (See below for the full writing; I have also included a link to this piece as an article I published online). My intention is to inspire and encourage reflection, regardless of your profession or field of study. If you find meaning in what I have written, I hope that you will consider honoring your own journey by giving it a voice as well.
Link to article: medium.com/@lubnakabir/a-nurse-in-bloom-c8e1f89e4fโฆ
~~~~~
As my second term of nursing school comes to a close, I find myself reflecting on the meaningful and transformative experiences I have had during both my Medical-Surgical and Community Health rotations. These clinical experiences have deepened my understanding of nursing, not just as a skill-based profession, but as a deeply human and compassionate practice that reaches far beyond the bedside.
During my Med-Surg rotation, I spent three days in the Observation Unit and four days on the 9th floor Med-Surg Unit at Valleywise Health Medical Center. In both settings, I had the opportunity to work alongside a variety of nurses, each with their own unique approach to patient care. I was grateful for the time they took to guide me through essential nursing tasks, such as administering oral medications, assisting with patient mobility, and responding to basic care needs.
One particular moment that stood out to me occurred in the Observation Unit, where a nurse paused amidst a heavy workload to comfort a patient who was crying over a personal issue unrelated to her physical health. That brief moment of empathy reminded me that, as nurses, we care for the whole person: mind, body, and spirit. This experience reinforced the importance of active listening and therapeutic communication, which I aim to consistently incorporate into my future practice.
Reflecting on my experiences in Med-Surg compared to my OB rotation, I found that I felt more comfortable and confident in the Med-Surg environment. I particularly appreciated the variety and complexity of patient needs in this setting. That said, I still deeply valued my time in the NICU during my OB rotation and continue to feel drawn to working with neonates in the future.
A noteworthy aspect of the Med-Surg patient population was the high number of individuals experiencing homelessness, incarceration, or reintegration into society. I observed how the nursing staff approached each patient with dignity, patience, and respect, regardless of the patientโs background or circumstances. These moments highlighted the kind of nurse I hope to become: someone who offers nonjudgmental, inclusive, and compassionate care to every individual. I believe that I have taken meaningful steps toward developing those qualities throughout this rotation.
Alongside my hospital-based experiences, my Community Health rotation provided a valuable perspective on the broader social and environmental factors that impact health. My group and I volunteered at the Salvation Army Senior Center, where we engaged in a variety of activities with the seniors, including an exercise class, health education, and blood pressure screenings, while also simply offering our presence. We conducted a Windshield Survey in a local neighborhood, identifying barriers to health such as limited access to grocery stores, healthcare facilities, and other resources. We also participated in a Stop the Bleed training, where I learned and practiced life-saving interventions such as wound packing and tourniquet application.
One of the most impactful experiences was visiting First Place, an independent living facility for adults with autism and neurodevelopmental disabilities. There, I saw firsthand the importance of social connection and engagement in meaningful daily activities, which are essential for promoting well-being. These community experiences broadened my understanding of health equity and highlighted the nurseโs role as not only a caregiver, but also an advocate, educator, and public health partner.
Overall, this term has helped to shape my identity as a future nurse. Whether in the hospital or out in the community, I have learned that nursing is ultimately about human connection. It is about meeting people where they are, recognizing their individual stories, and striving to make a positive impact. I look forward to carrying these lessons with me into the next stage of my nursing education and beyond.
10 - 0
โ๐ซ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐.โ ~๐ฏ๐๐๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐
๐ป๐๐๐๐๐๐ โฅ๏ธ
On Monday, I had the chance to work in the NICU all day at a nearby hospital as part of my OB rotation in nursing school. As I was feeding a baby for the first time ever, I looked into the babyโs eyes and saw a world of possibilities. Her life was just beginning, and she was capable of being whatever and whoever she wanted to be. It was a very inspiring thought. Each and every single one of us was like that, once upon a time.
Imagine going back to that part of your lifeโthe very beginningโand feeling the excitement of knowing that anything is possible. Nobody has yet discouraged you. The ups and downs of life have not yet embittered you. You are brand new. This is a mindset that, as adults, we often lose but can work to retrieve. We can be born again at any point in our lives. We can be full of dreams and the hope to realize them; it is never too late.
10 - 1
โ๐จ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.โ ~๐ฑ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐พ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฎ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐น
Some things are so beautiful that they leave us speechless. I took these photos of a rose with the ocean and the sun in the background on one of the last few days of December 2020. I was merely holding the rose in my hand and observing the ocean when the moment of inspiration arrived. The edges of the roseโs silhouette were illuminated by the late afternoon sun, and the Pacific Ocean sparkled majestically in the distance. These images serve as a reminder that all things in the world come and go, but the beauty of art and nature is timeless.
12 - 3
Simply sharing my thoughts, feelings, and pieces of my life through daily video diaries. โI will be Love, and then I will be all things.โ ๐ค
I hold a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology and Biological Sciences from Columbia University in the City of New York (Class of 2018), a Masterโs degree in Public Health with a concentration in Community Health Promotion from the University of Southern California (Class of 2021), and three years of osteopathic medical school training from Midwestern University Arizona College of Osteopathic Medicine (2021-2024). I am currently working towards my second Bachelorโs degree in Nursing at Creighton University. I hope to someday become a psychiatrist, psychotherapist, philosopher, university professor, writer, and author of many books. Thank you for watching my videos; in so doing, you are helping me along in the pursuit of my dreams.
Please direct all inquiries and personal comments related to the content of my videos to lubna.thoughts@gmail.com. ๐
26 April 2010