@Tamarush

4 days ago

This song will always remind me of my ex. He flew abroad in the summer to visit his dad, just a few weeks after I moved to a new apartment. I vividly remember us kissing in my old apartment, surrounded by mountains of carton boxes. We stopped in the middle because I bursted into tears. I was afraid of the row of changes that were coming. He hugged me so tight, so considerately, although I felt bad crying so hard in front of him. I apologized for ruining our few time together before his long visit, but he made me feel as if there was nothing to be sorry about. We had many arguments, pretty much since the beginning of our realationship, but this period in the summer was so beautiful. I felt so lucky having him. I had listened to this song religiously since the day he left, until he came back. His father lives in a region where you don't have much things to do, and we were talking for about 3 hours each day. But when he came back to our country, he stopped giving me all of the attention he got me used to. We went back to our old arguments about how he doesn't care about me enough. The breaking point was, when I confronted him with the fact, that he was only talking to me when he was bored. He responded: "your'e wrong, I just talk to you when I don't have anything letf to do". Which is pretty much the definition of bored, and it showed me that I am no priority to him. Our dates became strange, with him losing interest in having conversations with me. The point where I decided to break up with him was when I occured to be in his city. We agreed to meet around 12:00, with him promising to cook us lunch (cooking was a hobby of him). He asked me few times to come later, and when I finally arrived at 15:30, I discovered that there was no lunch. His excuse was that he thought I already had lunch outside. I agreed to wait until dinner time, but he only started thinking about it, when I needed to leave. I was so angry at him. I finally saw that his words were empty. He didn't really care about me, nor he was ready for a serious realationship with a woman. A statement which was proved when he gave me "a time to calm down" in his words, which meant not responding to my texts for about a week. War started in our country, and I didn't have a cance to see him in order to break up. Not mentioning the fact he got me crying on my birthday even before the war started. I met a beautiful person at the volunteer center for evacuees, and lost my feelings for him. I undersood that I wouldn't get a chance to meet him, since he was playing ego games with me. I broke up with him over the phone, and left him shook. But no one is seeking to date during a war, so I was left alone to deal with this sad situation. That's why it took me a few months to completely get over him. And regardless of his disrespectful behavior, he will always have a spot in my heart, for all of the good moments we had together. So this is the reason for why this song gives me such hard waves of nostalgia and affection. Thank you for reading! It means a lot to me <3

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