@Someone_in_this_foul_world

1 month ago

Hey Cosmo! Usually I say something dumb, like how amazingly edible your music is, however I would like to write something more this time. This song is really helping me realize, or better yet explain, how I am trying to help myself for once. I won't get into too much of my past, but in simple form, my parents had unintentionally separated myself and me. Myself is the vessel they saw, the body that was made of fresh clay and moldable into whatever they needed. They needed myself, but they didn't need me. They didn't need the person that is a collage of their life and everyone in it. They didn't need the child in adoration of biology, they didn't need the child who was constantly outside. Unintentionally they separated my mind and my body. For years of my life, I was the body of clay and didn't see myself as anything more than my vessel of potential for them. The problem was that I also wanted. For years this was my existence until I was aloud to go on a bike trip with a bike club. On said bike trip, I was learning about me. I was me. For those 2 days. Especially at 4 am the next day. "I stitched my mind back to my body, I'm not sorry, We're not sorry." I was stitching them back together from that point on, and I was feeling guilty about that. I felt guilty for going against my parents. For making them realize I am me. But now, I'm not sorry, both Me and myself aren't sorry. We deserve to find out and be. "I felt whole and free from worry, I'm not sorry, we're not sorry" In that forest at 4 am, I was on a walk with a friend. She and I walked in a comfortable quiet. The birds were awake, so were the deer and plants. I was free, for those 30 hours I was free for once. I was truly me and my body. I was a moldable collage. I haven't a clue how else to explain that. "Found a way, but it was foggy, "I found a way to stich I back up. It was difficult, especially since I was still the vessel, the clay for my parents. I was their dreams, maybe I still am. So I had to do it somehow. I would let the back yard grass grow as long as it could without my parents minding much. I was still definitely a child, just not to everyone around me, at least not in the ways it mattered. I would look into the soil to find many bugs and organisms lurking under the dirt, I would look through the grass and find dragonflies and moths dancing, vines and native flowers blooming. Until it would get cut and I would have to wait another month to feel the stiches again. "I walked the path, but my feet got soggy, I'm not worried, we're not worried" It might feel weird, it really does to learn about me more, but I'm not deterred. We aren't separate we are one, that is okay and is as it is. To summarize it, this song has given me a home of sorts and words to explain. Thank you Cosmo Sheldrake for being the artist you are. Also, this dish is a wonderful addition to the already 5 star meals you have given us I can't wait to see the recipe for it!(THIS SONG IS AMAZING AND I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR IT IN YOUR STUDIO) - I, both me and myself.

101 |