@fjordfjesta

1 year ago

I appreciate Austin's story of his situation, trauma, response, and recovery process. It was inspiring and compelling. To those saying "his wife should leave him" etc, I would say that his relationship and the dynamics of it are between him and his wife, and it certainly sounds like something they are working on together. Personally, I salute his vulnerability in opening up to 1M+ subscribers online about this incredibly personal thing for him and trying to validate the struggles of other people. That said, I'd like to see this from a few different angles, maybe as a follow-up. The story we see here was framed very much in a hetero- and mono- normative lens that was highly influenced by traditional Christian religious thought, because that sounds like it was Austin's lived experience. It would be easy to take from that that the "only" way towards growth or recovery from something like this would involve the exact same steps. What would it (and recovery) look like in LGBT+ circles? How about for non-Christians? Or people who have religious trauma? Poly or ENM partnerships? How about for people in sex work? While I think Austin's experience is valid and helpful for other men in his position and situation, it isn't the whole story for everyone in my opinion. There's undoubtedly many intersections of fidelity, trauma, and addiction (both of the sex and porn variety) that come into play when addressing a topic like this, and there will also be many operational definitions of what fidelity/infidelity looks like to each couple. Additionally, one would imagine that finding individuals with the bravery and willingness to come forward with Austin's vulnerability would be a tall order. Still, I feel like it would be a disservice not to follow-up with more information from someone like a licensed and accredited sex therapist or couples counselor on what this looks like for a (potentially) wider audience.

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