sorry i'm a couple days late, but happy birthday yoongiiii

personal note:
i don't even know what to say here. i've known what to say for every single other member that i've done one of these birthday edits for, but not yoongi. he's not my bias anymore, but he was my bias, and he's been my bias for almost the whole time i've been an army. even when i fell out of love with bts, and i did, a few times, i never fell out of love with him. he's probably the only reason i'm still a fan of bts to this day... he's the only reason i'm alive to this day.

maybe that's why this is so hard for me to write. yoongi got me through a dark time when nobody else in the whole world could. i love the other members, god, i do, but none of them express themselves in their music quite like yoongi does. he pours all his pain and his anger into his work. i found D-2 when i didn't know i would come to need it. set me free, honsool, songs about darkness and defeat and wanting to just give up, hell to stop existing entirely. i found those when i needed them the most. when i didn't need a sad song, but a real song.

and not just D-2, but first love, which is the only song i've ever found that manages to express perfectly the way i feel about my beloved passion, my writing, intro, the most beautiful moment in life, which describes the way i feel about rollerblading, and... so far away, a song about hopes and dreams. he just... he just connects with his music in a way that makes it feel so intimate and raw. i can't express in words what it's meant to me, how it's made me feel less alone, how he's inspired me so much.

yoongi. you are my greatest inspiration. the way you connect with your music and channel your pain into your passion, make ugly into beauty, inspires me to do the same. i hate myself now, the person i am, this ugly thing. i feel depressed and alone and i think about giving up on all my dreams, resigning myself to defeat. but i look up to you, star shining so far away in the sky, and i hope that someday, i can be half of who you are. you're my greatest idol, my greatest role-model, my greatest angel, my greatest love.

to yoongi, i love you forever and ever. thank you so much for my life, my passion, and all of my dreams.

i hope, wherever you are now, you're happy.
you deserve it.