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41,959 Views ā¢ Oct 1, 2022 ā¢ Click to toggle off description
Learn more about Patrick Teahan,
Childhood Trauma Resources and Offerings
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Views : 41,959
Genre: Education
Date of upload: Oct 1, 2022 ^^
Rating : 4.954 (29/2,481 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2024-03-16T22:52:22.435675Z
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YouTube Comments - 490 Comments
Top Comments of this video!! :3
i wonder if this has to do with hypervigilance growing up because of overly judgmental scrutiny, unfair blame, and unjust punishments for things that were out of the personās control
353 |
I'm laughing because I used to be so like this! It's my husband one day telling me "you know, I believe you. You don't need to tell me every detail and justify your actions" that made me realize I even did it in the first place. We are so used to our trauma as being "normal" we don't even see sometimes how many areas of our lives it shows up in.
353 |
As a child of codependent parents, I overexplain because Iām afraid itās betrayal or lying to not tell someone every detail and we need to be so close we almost donāt need separate clothesšāāļø
I am really glad I gave myself permission to stop. I donāt like it. Other people donāt like it. And I can draw boundaries with my parents and ask for respect about how I share my own information. Itās not lying. Itās called privacy.
438 |
Omg this is ME!! All the way!! People say I talk too much .. but I feel like I HAVE to overexplain just like in childhood or I wouldn't be believed or taken seriously. . Sometimes I could've been punished in my childhood if I didn't have a 10 page explanation ready for why I did something :(
362 |
I'm so bad I even found myself over explaining why I over explain, which turned out to be one of the finest of my many epic rambles š¤Ŗ
227 |
Just realized- for me, its about feeling that my explanation or my take on things wont be good enough, which is a form of not being believed. Which I think comes from my dynamic with my father, I was made to feel like I had zero credibility or authority, it was an extension of infanilization, like "don't take Cristina seriously, shes just a kid/ f*uck up/ the youngest sibling/ the black sheep, what does she know". Its me constantly trying to win back my credibility. Yet another self-realization catalyzed by Patrick's subject matter.
63 |
My mother REQUIRED a long voraciously energetic mentally focused explanation that was always thoroughly devoted towards HER goals, HER side, and HER happiness. She passed away a year ago, but Iām still exhausted from trying to keep her satisfied.
30 |
Can we talk about how great of an actor Patrick is haha š I liked this skit
58 |
Itās interesting how much body language and cues that the over explainer was missing. A close friend of mine had to bluntly tell me that it was rude and disrespectful when I went on too long. Once that clicked, things got better and I had fewer issues with strangers. Over explaining is actually crossing boundaries because it disrespects other peopleās time.
104 |
Sent this to my husband so he understands why it's so hard for me to answer yes/no questions... So helpful!
64 |
Apart from the fact that this is PAINFULLY accurate, that "okay" in the end killed me š
29 |
I do this because if I didn't tell my parents every...last...detail about school assignments and grades, they told me it was "lying by omission" and was punished as such. And yet when I dared ask for homework help, I'd literally get the book thrown at me. Sooo, yeah.
8 |
Is this because I was not HEARD as the Invisible Child in a toxic family (and now with freedom to speak it's hard to stop), OR because as a child I was afraid I wouldn't be believed, OR was I just thrilled I was allowed to speak, OR my answer to a question would be misinterpreted and I'd be punished... ORRR... all or some of the above. Seriously, please explain why I have done for so long. Still working on it some, but much better now. Thanks.
68 |
At first I thought I was too talkative bc I was used to being interrupted a lot with my family. I'm also a visual person & tend to recall more details than most people. Then I realized it may have been a defense mechanism to not feeling understood, believed, or validated much when I was younger. Or could it be all of the above? It's worse now that I'm not around friends or coworkers on a daily basis.
17 |
I swear you read my mind: I've been working on not over explaining myself to close people in my life
32 |
That's funny, I helped myself reduce over-explaining by catching myself if I am about to say "because...." then I stop right before the "because". It actually helps- it works well with writing texts & emails too!Then if someone needs more details they'll probably ask, but less is more sometimes!! šš
41 |
I do this because I grew up around an alcoholic who had a temper. I never knew what would set him off. I didnāt know what I was doing right or wrong. So I give people allllll details to a question so they can decide for me if it went well or not. I donāt know how to extrapolate the important details needed to make a conclusion about the social win or loss.
20 |
I drive myself crazy doing this. I just think of so many thoughts, details, viewpoints, etc. that I find it difficult to be concise (including for this comment š
). I remind myself I donāt need to explain myself or convince anyone of anything. Very interested to see how this relates to trauma.
10 |
Thank you so much! Could you do a video on being overly honest (in a way that overexposes oneself) as well, if that's a thing?
34 |
@stern4141
1 year ago
I was able to stop doing this by realizing it makes me sound weak, and understanding that most people really donāt want & canāt process that level of detail. Itās kind of like holding people hostage. So instead I make myself take a second to collect my thoughts, pick a main point or two, state it briefly, and if needed will cut myself off with āand thatās how it wentā or āDoes that answer your question?ā
586 |