@HetaHeat6

6 years ago

Around three years ago, on the 21st of October, just three days before my birthday, my sister committed suicide in our school's gym. She and I were practically twins. We were inseparable, to say the very least. Not a day goes by where I don't think of her. Her mother passed away when she was young, (I call her my "sister" even though we were technically cousins) and her death left her rather empty inside. I feared so much for her. I knew she was suicidal. She and I both shared that, among many other things, of course. I was always way too afraid to act out on my own suicidal thoughts, but...Apparently, my sister wasn't. She had difficulties in school, and a lifelong dream to make her ideas and stories come to life as a film writer/director. By the gods, she could have done it, and she could have done a fantastic job with her amazing plots and characters. She decided to take her life in school, so no one in our family would actually see her do it. I remember her texting me her final goodbye, and her repeatedly telling me how sorry she was, and for me to forgive her. Immediately, I was sent in a state of panic, and I desperately tried to figure out where she was, so I could have stopped her. Sometimes, I still blame myself for her death...Saying things like "I should have been a better sister to her" and so on...Skylar, my sweet, beautiful, amazingly talented sister, I miss you so, so much. I love you, and I forgive you. You will never fade away from my thoughts, nor from my heart. May you rest peacefully, my sweet butterfly child. EDIT: It has been a couple years since I posted this, and I honestly did not expect for it to get as much attention as it did. I am very grateful for everyone's comments. Although there are some harsh ones, I read them all, and it warmed me greatly to see just how many people care. Complete strangers. I am doing a better now, thankfully. I no longer blame myself. For everyone replying that they have also lost someone, I am dearly sorry. Trust me, I know how difficult it can be, but you WILL get through it. I promise you. The memories and feelings you felt for those you lost may never fade, but you will get better. I love you all, and thank you so, so much for all of your kind words. You're all very kindhearted and wonderful people. Again, thank you.

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