@kit_the_kat741

6 months ago

My family was extremely strict growing up, so going out and dating was not a possibility. We had all AP courses, so it kept us busy anyway. Bullying had my sister and I keeping to ourselves most times. Hanging out with newfound friends wasn't a thing either because of trust issues and my parents being protective — honestly though, with future revelations rightly so. Either way, when my twin sister and I were Freshmen, there was a boy named Matt in his Junior year. He was so friendly to us both, handsome and sort of like the sun that starved flowers tend to stretch towards. After him, the bullying stopped because his popularity gave him quite the respect of the teenagers around us, and he used that to look out for my sister and I. He was impossible not to love, platonically or romantically, Matt was someone who made us feel welcome while enduring such a rough transition period in life. For months, Matt introduced us to his friend group and the AP teachers, greeting us both daily with fiercely warm hugs and a ready smile. As the seasons changed and headed towards Christmas, his diligence in asking my sister out only grew stronger, until he'd finally managed to convince her to give it a chance. Matt made plans to talk to my parents and start things off the proper way. I remember our last meeting so vividly. The 3 of us had a class together at the end of the day, it was slightly overcast but the air was wet and cold; strange for a Florida winter. Matt came into class wearing his leather jacket, a freshly shaved bald head, and his signature dimpled smile. He flirted with my sister all period while she desperately tried to take down notes, even got into trouble by the teacher. The thing is, he was just so damn charming that he always got out of trouble. The guy was hilarious, he would get us to laugh and the blame would pass onto us or someone else. Towards the end of the class though, Matt got real serious. He told my sister that he was going all in with this, and that he wasn't going to give up. He kissed her forehead and then gave me a big bear hug. Right before leaving he spun around and told us that he couldn't wait to give us both the gifts he'd gotten, that it had taken forever to think of what to do but that he'd figured it out and we would never forget it. He was excited to speak with my parents too, and told us it would go well, that there was nothing to worry about. After blowing air kisses to us Matt left, dimpled smile and all. Later that evening, my family was all in our living room. My dad was preparing for work, my sisters and I working on getting ready for orchestra practice, and my brother running around the couches. The news was on carrying the perfect background noise. I was putting on my socks when the news anchor mentioned an accident with a student from our school. A drunk driver hit a motorcyclist at a red light. My sister and I both looked up nervous. The woman continued to give small details, never giving much away about the person hurt. It wasn't until Matt's photo popped up that we both broke down. To this day I wish I'd been more bold. I wish I'd have been less afraid of rejection by peers and my family and that we had hung out all the times he asked us to. I wish that we had gone out to eat with him and his friends every time he asked. I wish that we had gotten to see him the next day so that my sister and I could surprise him with our gifts and laugh as he tore through the wrapping. I wish that Matt hadn't had to work that day that had him at the light. I wish that the world got to experience what a wonder of a person he was. There are so many regrets in my soul when it comes to Matt, but the biggest will always be not acting during the moments that seemed insignificant. The ones that would have let Matt know how much I cared for him like a brother.

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