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221,571 Views ā¢ Mar 13, 2022 ā¢ Click to toggle off description
us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_qn32f5caTCagAdā¦
The story I referenced about the stepdad and the car accident
is from TikTok by the Arc Warrior - follow him!
www.tiktok.com/@arc_warrior
Janet Woititz - Healthy Parenting
www.goodreads.com/book/show/1154470.Healthy_Parentā¦
0:00 Intro
1:21 Connect With Me
2:28 About Toxic Behavior
2:53 #1 Not Acknowledging Reality
6:17 #2 You Get That From Your Mother
8:59 #3 Insulting Their Intelligence
12:10 #4 Threatened By a Childās Emotions
14:58 #5 Unnecessary Power Struggles
17:46 #6 Is It Your Kid or Your Parenting?
20:51 #7 Being Unable to Assert As a Parent
23:25 Final Thoughts
23:50 Outro
In this video we cover: toxic parents, parenting, gaslighting, gaslight, child development, triggers, tools, therapy tools, conflict, self-regulation, toxic, toxic family systems, boundaries, truth, childhood trauma, inner child, inner child work, c-ptsd, ptsd, toxic parents, narcissistic abuse, healing, abusive parents, emotional abuse, childhood ptsd, repressed memories, hypervigilance, narcissistic parents, emotionally abusive parents, child abuse, narcissistic father, childhood emotional neglect, abuse, narcissistic mother, alcoholism, scapegoat, genogram, siblings, dissociation, trauma
Learn more about Patrick Teahan,
Childhood Trauma Resources and Offerings
ā”ļø linktr.ee/patrickteahan
MUSIC IS BY - Chris Haugen - Ibiza Dream
Ā Ā Ā ā¢Ā ChrisĀ HaugenĀ -Ā IbizaĀ DreamĀ Ā
Editing service
www.jamesrara.com/
ā ļø Disclaimer
My videos are for educational purposes only. Information provided on this channel is not intended to be a substitute for in person professional medical advice. It is not intended to replace the services of a therapist, physician, or other qualified professional, nor does it constitute a therapist-client or physician or quasi-physician relationship.
If you are, or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.
If you are having emotional distress, please utilize 911 or the National Suicide Hotline
1-800-273-8255
Views : 221,571
Genre: Education
Date of upload: Mar 13, 2022 ^^
Rating : 4.979 (69/13,021 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2022-03-31T17:56:26.866135Z
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YouTube Comments - 1,347 Comments
Top Comments of this video!! :3
"Many trauma survivors are criticized on adult levels while not getting any parental help from their parents." This 100%, especially when you're the scapegoat.
1K |
Two runners up to this list is - "When I was a kid I was up at 5am" - shaming children for providing a better childhood? and weaponizing mood on a child.
575 |
When Patrick brought up how useless it is to confront parents about the past, a burden was lifted. One thing I always hated about talking to my mother about my trauma was that she would apologize followed by āthings just never got better. I always prayed for things to get better but they didnātā or āI didnāt have a mother. The same things happened to me as a child.ā She is incapable of any type of analysis beyond God never brought anyone in her life to help her. In her mind accountability is āIām sorry. But youāre fine now right? Letās move on.ā
I remember when I told her that her physically abusive boyfriend was having sex with me (I watched him pull a gun on her). After she kicked him out, a couple days later she said āI just want to let you know that in Godās eyes youāre still a virgin.ā I honestly feel that was the biggest contributor to me despising religion. That was such an off base remark and response to what I went through. As if I gave two shits about where I stood with God.
1K |
[15:00] "Healthy Kids are gonna test limits. Neglected Kids are gonna test if their parents are gonna show up for them"
So true, that's the difference between good enough and toxic parenting in one sentence. Thank you so much!
589 |
"Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about." Another threatened by emotions tactic. My parent would say that while brushing my hair and yanking out tangles, implying that the consequence of more crying would hurt a good deal more.
685 |
This comment section is the most comforting and reassuring thing I've seen in years. Thank you all for your comments. the abuse I experienced, and feel today, is not crazy or just who I am. How profoundly reassuring is it to be validated by hundreds of comments. Never stop what you're doing Patrick. :')
141 |
I think a big one for me is that I'd always be treated as an adult when it was convenient for my parents. If I brought home a bad grade as a kid, my dad would tell me "You didn't do your part/job, my job is to make money, yours it to do well in school." But if I asked if I could go on an overnight field trip as a high schooler, I would be treated as a kid and told no, I had to stay home for no discernible reason.
190 |
Hearing you describe the parent expecting their child to behave like an adult w/o ever giving them the guidance, support and knowledge needed to behave that way, as "top tier trauma" felt like my issues surrounding change and taking risks had finally been validated after 37 yrs. Thank you. I needed to hear that so much.
330 |
"Trauma survivors feel like their emotions are both wrong and too much for others based on how we were parented or how our parents reacted to our emotions. There's a lot of reclaiming in therapy for that." š„ŗššš
86 |
Oh my gosh, #4 (threatened by kidsā emotions) hit home. We were disciplined from an early age to be neutral, calm, or happy. Getting upset was borderline threatening, and getting mad??? It was taboo. I still have extreme difficulty expressing anger or feeling upset decades later
401 |
Everything Patrick teaches is life changing.
470 |
I lost my cool earlier today because of stressā¦ no excuse, so I put my ego aside and apologized to my son. Owned my mistake without judgment on myself and feel so proud Iām capable of doing this. (Something I never saw growing up)
Hereās to trying to end the cycle š»
177 |
"Their emotions are wrong or too much for other" hit like a train. I subdue so much of what I'm feeling because it historically is not the right response. Hearing "you're too sensitive" really does a number on you. Being told to stop crying because it's not that serious. "Just get over it." Uhg it puts my stomach in knots just thinking about it.
183 |
Thank you, Patrick! My favorite quote, "We can boil childhood trauma down to two things:
1. Disconnection
2. Abuse around our perception"
179 |
Threatened by emotions was my entire childhood, from both my parents. I was trained to never cry, no matter how upset I was, because I was told that my own emotional response to hours of shaming was actually a manipulation tactic. I still struggle with crying.
24 |
Yiiiiikes. I didnāt realize character assassinating the other parent is abusive to the child. Thank you for pointing it out. My parents did this both constantly by attributing any ānegative traitā they imagine of me to the other parent by saying āyou got this stupidness or ugliness from your mom or dadā. Itās maddening or sick .
73 |
Not acknowledging. My mom completely āforgettingā me telling her I was sexually assaulted or that I had attempted suicide.
75 |
I sometimes see my responses as a parent highlighted in your videos. I automatically defend myself in my mind, but I am glad you talk me through it and teach me new ways to interact with and validate my daughter. My goal is to end generational trauma, so I regularly fall into my automatic responses that are mirrored by my toxic relationship with my mom. Iām glad you help me face reality AND provide solutions. I am so thankful for you!
331 |
I can crystallize the struggle in my childhood being my mothers inability to deal with her anger. She was rage filled but silent. She would withdraw...for days. Physically present, I was always fed and cared for, but I lived on eggshells because I thought I had done something wrong. It was only when i met a few three and four and five year olds as a grown woman and witnessed their vulnerability and trust and perceptiveness that i realized how very confusing and painful it was.. I've spent a lifetime reading people in a hyperfocused kind of way, and being paralyzed by anyone's anger....including my own. "Abuse around the perception of how you see yourself"
64 |
@memedemon6273
2 years ago
My parents never taught me life skills. As a kid I didnāt know that I was supposed to learn those things. But as I got older my parents would start criticizing me for not knowing how to do the things they never taught me.
2.9K |