Views : 124,010
Genre: Education
Date of upload: Feb 21, 2024 ^^
Rating : 4.991 (13/5,730 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2024-05-15T13:30:21.529939Z
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Top Comments of this video!! :3
"Impress the world or I will ignore you" aka people pleasing.
Still suffering from it. Have zero self esteem. Never had money in childhood. When finally got job in adulthood, everyone tried to take it from me, even the rich one. And traumas compounding over time.
Your videos is my window to the reality.
Thank You!
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My mom had 3 kids in 2.5 years. She had her hands full. I was not a clingy first born, which was a relief for her. My independence later became problematic because I didn’t listen to her or behave the way she liked. I respect her roll as a mother and i repay her by caring for her (she’s 86) but I don’t count on her to love me. I love me and that’s enough.
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"Either you conform to my idea of you or I will treat you as the most defective human being that ever existed in the planet." It was never overtly told but covertly people keep attacking my sanity or asking if I was sick. They made me belive that who I am was defective and that it is only by pleasing them that I am worthy. Till now I still hear these words and it takes me a great level of patience to not react.
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Unconditional love is ultimately a fallacy. However, a good parent gives something very very close indeed, and can provide a core of security and a basis for self love. It doesn't mean the parent is perfect or the childhood will be always happy, or that adulthood will not be difficult (genetics don't always help) and challenging. It takes words and actions, and not shying away from complex and distressing discussions and emotions in the relationship, not just a good example to follow
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The question about what we had to do in our family of origin to get noticed, cared for and loved really hits deep. It?s fascinating yet a bit sad to think that so much of our actions today could be just us trying to fulfill those childhood needs in some form. The idea that we might be unconsciously operating under the conditions of love we grew up with is such a powerful insight. Really eye-opening content that makes us reflect on our own lives and motivations.
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I grew up in the household where being incessantly bombarded with disturbing pressure to outperform and outsmart academically as a mean to elevate the family's status. Later, the more I age, the more I staggeringly realize how this narrative had been deeply ingrained and coded in my psyche like a strand of DNA to be impeccable at any coasts. No wonder as I was involuntarily subjected to this condition , I have been struggling with low self-esteem and people pleasing tendency during adulthood.
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@moralebooster8437
2 months ago
I discovered the other day that empowerment doesn't happen when we grow up, but when we realize we are grown up.
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