Views : 137,392
Genre: People & Blogs
Date of upload: Jul 22, 2020 ^^
Rating : 4.904 (126/5,111 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2022-04-03T14:25:28.315754Z
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Top Comments of this video!! :3
Funny you bring this up, Sam. Something I always felt was significant that happened with my ex had to do with her at a point in our relationship constantly nagging me about feeling 'lonely'. This to me was rather weird since I work from home, so I was always there (and we always went out on weekends, frequently went out for dinner, etc).
True, I would lock myself in the office while she stayed in the living room watching countless reality shows on tv, but the simple realization that she was right there in the next room was enough for me not to feel alone - plus I would frequently interrupt what I was doing just to go crack a joke with her, give her a hug or a kiss, etc... something she NEVER did with me. IMO, if she truly felt lonely all she had to do was go to the room next door and talk to me or something - but she never did.
Then one day it hit me. You're not feeling 'lonely' I told her, you are feeling 'bored'. And from that day on she never nagged me about it again.
Unlike me she had no hobbies, no outside work interests, nothing to keep herself busy and entertained other than brainlessly sitting in front of the tv.
The reason this event 'stood out' to me (among all the countless other weirdness characteristic of toxic relationships) was that it was **I** who had to correctly identify HER own emotions. And if she didn't even have enough self-awareness to understand something as basic as what she herself was feeling, what hope was there for the rest...?
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"You need to label" - yes this is so accurate - and remembering to turn INWARD when analyzing environment to sense your own part in it. So many people lack this skill or become for some reason (addiction to externalization as seen in social media etc?) addicted to looking for external truth thus blocking self knowledge and paradoxically accurate perception, confusion between internal stimulus and external reality
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You are helping me heal from 5 years with a BPD male. Its fascinating to hear what he was thinking. I observed a physical change in him, his expression, etc. before a split. I would instantaneously become the enemy, when the day before he would be sharing intimate details with me, now it was as if I was a stranger on the street inquiring about something. He would cry out when overwhelmed, I just want to be alone. I guess alone with all the thoughts and feelings. Really tough to watch. He thought alcohol was the answer and of course it wasn't. I had to detach with love.
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@juliamorgan4878
1 year ago
The reason I think I'm empathetic is because I'm so worried about hurting others in any way. I get very upset seeing anyone suffer including animals. I would especially not want to hurt anyone's feelings. I believe this is because I have had my feelings hurt so many times and know how it feels. I also think I am a HSP (highly sensitive person) I also overreact to things and get angry quickly when something isnt fair or someone is hurting someone else, especially animals and children. But I do believe you are right about not being able to understand what emotions others are feeling because I don't really understand what emotions I am feeling most of the time, except for anger 🙃 I am working on it though. I've got a DBT workbook I'm going to start on next month. I really enjoyed listening to the valuable information you presented! I found it very enlightening, thank you for taking the time to do these videos. I enjoy your jokes too!
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