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Borderline Misunderstands Her Emotions (as do Narcissist, Psychopath)
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137,392 Views • Jul 22, 2020 • Click to toggle off description
Borderlines and narcissists mislabel their emotions.

Emotions start with cognitions (thoughts), information gleaned from the body, plus data from the environment (contextual intake).

When there are fundamental, ubiquitous cognitive deficits and biases, emotions get misidentified (impaired internal reality testing).

We know this is true from multiple experiments and from the fact that techniques such as reappraisal and exposure (approaching the avoided emotions) work. In reappraisal we change the emotion by altering the underlying cognitions.

Borderlines suffer from emotional dysregulation and, like narcissists, they often exhibit inappropriate affect (understandable when emotions get misconstrued).

Empathy deficits: cold empathy (narcissists, psychopaths) or functional empathy (borderline, codependent, and histrionic) when full-fledged emotional empathy is turned off by negative emotionality, splitting, object inconstancy.

Studies show that increased empathy and age-related increase in empathy DECREASE recognition of emotions in others (Israelshvili, Agneta Fischer, Nannis).

Cognitive emoting: analysis, comparison to others.

Cluster B patients cope with these deficits in emotional cognizance by: 1. Repressing or avoiding the emotions (narcissist, primary psychopath); 2. Misjudging the intensity or semiotics of the emotions (misreading cues, signals, and information) (histrionics); or 3. Dissociating the emotions (borderline, secondary psychopath).

Coping strategies involve self-soothing (including self-defeating, self-destructive, self-trashing, and reckless behaviors) and approach-avoidance and other repetition compulsions (with the gradual formation of a persecutory introjected object)

Buy most of my books in Amazon www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C…
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Views : 137,392
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Date of upload: Jul 22, 2020 ^^


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YouTube Comments - 224 Comments

Top Comments of this video!! :3

@juliamorgan4878

1 year ago

The reason I think I'm empathetic is because I'm so worried about hurting others in any way. I get very upset seeing anyone suffer including animals. I would especially not want to hurt anyone's feelings. I believe this is because I have had my feelings hurt so many times and know how it feels. I also think I am a HSP (highly sensitive person) I also overreact to things and get angry quickly when something isnt fair or someone is hurting someone else, especially animals and children. But I do believe you are right about not being able to understand what emotions others are feeling because I don't really understand what emotions I am feeling most of the time, except for anger 🙃 I am working on it though. I've got a DBT workbook I'm going to start on next month. I really enjoyed listening to the valuable information you presented! I found it very enlightening, thank you for taking the time to do these videos. I enjoy your jokes too!

35 |

@angelakieler6447

2 years ago

I am never bored by your videos…I have been listening to you everyday because all this information has been a catalyst to my healing from a NPD husband of 27 years.

53 |

@AbdullaHernandez

3 years ago

This is so profound to understand, and so loaded with meaning and layers. Incredible. I need to listen five or six times just to understand. Currently trying to heal from narcissistic abuse and recognizing the stage abuse and be abused cycle in my relationships. This explains everything.

120 |

@halliehuffman7551

3 years ago

I am constantly having to re-analyze my emotions. Do I love HIM or do I love the way he made me see myself? Do I MISS him or that feeling? Etc.

167 |

@cbashe

1 year ago

This explains a lot. Much of which I’ve suspected and struggled with with. Particularly my uncanny ability to read and read through peoples emotions and my complete inability to label my own.

20 |

@rawolives

1 year ago

This is the first time learning about this after being diagnosed BPD for a decade... Finally I can let go of the puzzle and course correct. Thank you!

32 |

@racineburke2561

2 years ago

This is sooooo sad I feel sorry for them. At the same time I realize they are dangerous to get emotionally involved with them.

51 |

@JcRabbit

3 years ago

Funny you bring this up, Sam. Something I always felt was significant that happened with my ex had to do with her at a point in our relationship constantly nagging me about feeling 'lonely'. This to me was rather weird since I work from home, so I was always there (and we always went out on weekends, frequently went out for dinner, etc). True, I would lock myself in the office while she stayed in the living room watching countless reality shows on tv, but the simple realization that she was right there in the next room was enough for me not to feel alone - plus I would frequently interrupt what I was doing just to go crack a joke with her, give her a hug or a kiss, etc... something she NEVER did with me. IMO, if she truly felt lonely all she had to do was go to the room next door and talk to me or something - but she never did. Then one day it hit me. You're not feeling 'lonely' I told her, you are feeling 'bored'. And from that day on she never nagged me about it again. Unlike me she had no hobbies, no outside work interests, nothing to keep herself busy and entertained other than brainlessly sitting in front of the tv. The reason this event 'stood out' to me (among all the countless other weirdness characteristic of toxic relationships) was that it was **I** who had to correctly identify HER own emotions. And if she didn't even have enough self-awareness to understand something as basic as what she herself was feeling, what hope was there for the rest...?

71 |

@MinnieTyko

3 years ago

I do feel I’m drowning in my emotions like he said. I do feel triggered by reality.

44 |

@lorishu48103

3 years ago

"You need to label" - yes this is so accurate - and remembering to turn INWARD when analyzing environment to sense your own part in it. So many people lack this skill or become for some reason (addiction to externalization as seen in social media etc?) addicted to looking for external truth thus blocking self knowledge and paradoxically accurate perception, confusion between internal stimulus and external reality

42 |

@bentnotbroken4192

3 years ago

Every video makes me understand my husband more and more It's not me. I did my best😭

34 |

@maryjoe2311

3 years ago

Thanks Sam for your astonishing knowledge. Thank you for educating us . May you be blessed with more insights. 🙏

57 |

@chaeldiongroup

3 years ago

Thank you Sam, extraordinary articulation of extraordinary insights.

21 |

@cyndylee7398

3 years ago

This explains a lot of workplace behaviors!

35 |

@rachelsalex

1 year ago

Wow you explained this emotional component so well. Thank you for sharing with the world.

7 |

@SarahEWalsh

1 year ago

I have been watching your videos for some time, and I’m continually impressed with the way you educate people on these topics. Shalom

2 |

@fenellajames4112

10 months ago

I am never board with your seminars Sam, just hugely intrigued. Thank you for the education.

2 |

@GoldenHawk441

2 years ago

i so appreciate your ability to share this wisdom - it explains so much in myself as well as my last relationship. Thank you

3 |

@charmee4045

2 years ago

You are helping me heal from 5 years with a BPD male. Its fascinating to hear what he was thinking. I observed a physical change in him, his expression, etc. before a split. I would instantaneously become the enemy, when the day before he would be sharing intimate details with me, now it was as if I was a stranger on the street inquiring about something. He would cry out when overwhelmed, I just want to be alone. I guess alone with all the thoughts and feelings. Really tough to watch. He thought alcohol was the answer and of course it wasn't. I had to detach with love.

23 |

@fjhggkkuhkihkkhk

3 years ago

Spot on again but I expect no less! You are amazing and you know it!👌

4 |

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