@kykochenash1074

1 year ago

This song captures one of my most precious memories perfectly. I've had never really experienced proper love and had been trying for years to chase some form of it. When I was at my lowest someone quite unexpected showed up, I was very guarded for a long time because I didn't think he was actually interested in me, I wouldn't really show affection or say how I feel or really even talk much. But for some reason he still kept wanting to be around me. But then one night it all changed. He called me saying how much he missed me, he had been drinking a little bit and said he was going to walk to me because he wanted to see me. I made him stay put and walked to him at about 11 at night. When I got there I could already tell something was different. We sat at a table and talked for a few minutes but then he stood up and kneeled next to my chair and hugged me while smiling up at me. I didn't really know what to do because I wasn't used to affection but next thing I know we're laying on the grass looking up at the stars. He was honest and vulnerable with me, we had a similar history with relationships and we just cuddled under the stars. When I was going to leave he stopped me and apologized for being annoying, he thought that my lack of response whenever we hung out was me finding him annoying. I started to tear up and something told me that I was safe, with him I'd always be safe. So I decided to open up and be vulnerable as well, I told him how he couldn't be more wrong and that I'd been holding back in fear. Right before I started walking home he yanked the hood off my head(I tended to hide in my hood whenever I felt nervous or insecure) and told me that he didn't like me always hiding my beautiful face and then he kissed me. That night will always be held so close to my heart. It's been nearly nine months since then and my love for him has only grown stronger. That night created one of the best butterfly effects in my life. Leaving a toxic environment, going to college for what I really want to do, being able to be my actual self all the time, getting the strength to come out as nonbinary, finding not only my soulmate but also gaining another family, loving myself and being proud of what I've accomplished. We both realized we were in love with each other that night, and the stars will always hold a special place in both of our hearts. Never have I been so thankful that I let myself love.

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