@rulistening7777

2 months ago

My mother was this kind of attractive. She spent about two hours per day just polishing her look before leaving the house., to go do her cocktail waitress job. She never ever left the house without looking "attractive ". And... She never did anything without a burning ciggerett at arms length. She was also a lush. However. She always kept my brother and I in a good clean home. She cooked good southern meals most every day. She kept us in nice clothes, and made sure we always attended school. Our homes were always in good middle class neighborhoods. Always houses. Never apartments. She taught us to have an honest work ethic, and become independent. She tried to fill us with self confidence. WAS SHE A "GOOD MOTHER ? " As her 50 year old daughter.... I say No . No, my mother was not a " good mother " by my standards. She was a lush. Drunk most every night. Gone to the bars several nights per week. When I got my drivers license at age 16, I didnt realize my mother would consider me her new chaufer. Calling me in the middle of the night to pick her drunk ass up at some dive bar in town, on a regular basis. Putting me at risk. Bringing home men that were a danger to me and my brother. Coming home after 2: am all wound up, making so much noise. Waking us up to fawn all over us, trying to kiss our faces with her putrid ashtray and alcoholic breath stench in our faces. So REPULSIVE. This was a weekly routine for all of my little brother's life, and for 8 years of my life. Mostly my teen years . I could not join school organizations, or girls clubs. Or anything that would further my academics. I had to be my little brother's sarogate mother as soon as I got home from school. Most every single day. Yet.... she never ceased to tell us how much she loved us. As if simply SAYING that she loved us over and over could cover all of the holes. The term " Good Mother " is relevent. And perhaps short sighted.

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