Views : 680,735
Genre: People & Blogs
Date of upload: Dec 7, 2022 ^^
Rating : 4.989 (49/17,619 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2024-04-28T22:45:58.158964Z
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Top Comments of this video!! :3
it's just so mindblowing to me how you can live so many experiences, share so many feelings and thoughts and secrets with someone just for them to walk away like none of it ever happened and feel completely fine. I'll never understand it. just how? how can you go from "you're the best thing that ever happened to me" and "I would never ever leave" to "I don't feel anything"? i literally physically felt my heart shatter in millions of pieces.
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He's a patient man. A golden retriever. Listener. Friendly. My human shock absorber. Extrovert. Selfless. His flaws was wanting a reltionahip with my unstable self. I never showed a tinged of affection for the last 7 years but still stayed. Willing to wait until the day it was reciprocated. Well, it came but not until he left me to find love that he longed and deserves. I loved him so much. So much that I'm willing to set him free and never ever confess this feelings.
Fun fact: He just got married 02/12/2023
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I'm getting real damn tired of being the hopeless romantic. Hell, I don't even think I'm the first choice for my friends. My best friend comes to me time and time again for comfort. All the way from family drama, her shitty boyfriend, and even something as trivial as the wrong song playing in the car. I know her better than she even knows herself. But I don't think she knows me. I could tell you her favorite music artists, chase Atlantic Taylor swift and Jack Harlow, but I don't think she could even begin to guess mine. I know her favorite hobbies, her favorite soda, and even her taco bell order. But it pains me when I think about our friendship and realize how much she ignores me. I'll give it to her if I needed her she would be there at the drop of a hat, but she can't even handle hearing the title of a horror movie. So how am I supposed to turn to her when I don't feel real.
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I haven't been feeling very real lately. Everything feels . . . Wrong. I feel closed off. I feel like I need to cry, to scream, to beg for someone I can cry to. . . But I can't. I don't know why but it feels so wrong to cry to the people in my life. Their good people that would always be there for me, but just thinking about trying to talk to them feels off. I feel like I don't have anyone. I do. I really do. . . . But they aren't right. If that makes any sense.
Maybe that's why I want a romantic partner so much. I want someone I can unapologetically be myself around. That i can cry to and not feel pressured to explain tears I can't even begin to imagine why they are falling in the first place. Someone I can make stupid cheesy memories with. Someone I can do dumb shit with like dancing in the rain, sing corny love songs at while cooking breakfast together, someone I can hug and kiss all I want, someone to love and hug and kiss me back.
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I don't know. Maybe I'm just traumatized and need some fuckin therapy. Hell, I know I'm fucked up. And I know dating someone isn't going to magically fix it all, but God damn i am tired of everyone else around me getting the romance I so desperately desire. I know I don't need romance to be whole. I know its not everything. But when your eighteen and never had a partner it really drags you down. . . . My mom is super romance bitter because she's had so many bad experiences. Honestly it kinda feels like her romance ick is so strong it's pushing away all my opportunities. Maybe I'm just crazy. I don't know, I'm just tired. I've been tired for a long time. . .
I'll stop rambling. Maybe this year will be different. Though that's what everyone's been saying for the past what 3 or 4 years. Whatever, here's hoping I guess. If you read this far, thank you. It means a lot. If you feel the same I'm sure things will change. I'm sure we'll all find our people. Well, happy new years I guess. Here's to a new year. I guess we'll just have to wait and see how it goes.
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Edit: a few of y'all have written me some very very kind amazing words in the replies and I just wanna say ily all and thank you for the love it really means a lot you guys take the time to write me something meaningful <3
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29/ 12/ 2022 : I met my childhood crush. I loved him dearly since I was 6 until I was 15 when I decided to give up; now Iâm 22 but I still canât look him in the eye. All these years, I told myself positive things, changed, became confidentâŚbut talking to him, listening to him describe his life and his girl friends, I realised: âI was never an optionâ. I feel like Iâm back to square one. Of course Iâm more mature than that, but I just want to be someoneâs first choice, the obvious option for once in my life I want to know what it feels like to be chosen đ§
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this title got me hard. you know, i have never had anyone falling in love with me. and the people i always fell in love with never fell in love with me too and would play with my feelings just to appear with another girl too. also, i would attach to them with my whole heart and they didnt even notice me and thought abt me in the same way, not even once. i have never felt pretty, but they never told me that, i mean never. i always was considered the ugly girl even i am averagely attractive. that affected me so much. i keep daydreaming with purity about them and about future relationships and i just met reality with the most painful things, like rejection. Like seeing the person u loved the most and helped you in the hardest moments, the most attractive, literally throw in the face of everybody heather. it is painful. it is heartbreaking. it is like a horrible disappointment that will never go away coz it triggers you so badly. thank you for this sweet melancholic playlist. i am breaking and this is helping
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A Love Story:
She gazed at the strong, imposing figure knowing deep in her heart that she would never be the one; never even be an option, and so she dismissed the thought and saw the person half-hidden behind the figure and trying to get through the door: a man who smiled, and saw her, who saw her. She smiled in return.
The end.
Let go of these impossible ones, and look for the ones that see you.
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Dear person whoever reads this,
Hey, you, yes, I am talking right to you. I hope you will see yourself with the eyes I see you one day, because I can tell you have some awesome music taste :) Youâre such a beautiful human being and worth and enough. I hope you know that you do only need yourself to be happy, I know society build up the standard that whenever youâre alone youâre not living a happy live. But in fact that is not true, if you start to realize that you actually deserve all the good things happening to you, you will treat yourself a lot nicer. I hope you let yourself rest, donât beat yourself up over past mistakes, over regret, and over everything your mind wants to destroy you. I wish I could remove all those demons inside of your head because you deserve to feel happy. If you ever feel lonely then watch the sky, because you know, someone, at the same time is watching the sky too, maybe feeling the same way..I am glad you exist and I hope you wonât ever remove your own spot in this world, maybe you donât feel like you belong here but, Angel, then build your home here. I donât want you to leave this world unhappy. I want you to live every little second, I want you to feel alive, I donât want you to see yourself just existing. You deserve it. Whatever happened, itâs not your fault, the demons in your head recognize that you have a beautiful heart, they want to take it because they have never seen such beautiful heart as yours, so why let them win over you? . Youâre not selfish for isolating yourself, but you deserve to talk to someone. If youâre reading this than please never forget to breath and smile.
Donât live up to other standards! Itâs your story and not theirs.
Life for those who couldnât, smile for those who forgot what a genuine smile is, love like thereâs no other, hug like its your last one.
I love you and send you hugs.
Youâre so strong, youâre still here, and I am proud of you.
YOU ARE NOT USELESS. READ THAT AGAIN.
YOU ARE WORTH IT. READ THAT AGAIN.
YOU ARE LOVED. READ THAT AGAIN.
I AM GLAD YOU EXIST. READ THAT AGAIN.
YOU ARE NOT A PROBLEM. YOU ARE HUMAN AND YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID. READ THAT AGAIN.
YOU ARE NOT BEING DRAMATIC.
Youâre not a burden to anyone, donât be afraid to talk, to use your voice.
Youâre beautiful inside out. Your body is beautiful the way it is.
Please donât starve yourself. Please eat, I know itâs hard but you deserve food. You deserve to eat and drink.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. READ THAT AGAIN.
I WISH I COULD HUGH YOU RIGHT NOW, SO A VIRTUAL HUG WILL DO.
It hurts me to see youâre in pain :( you deserve so much man, donât let your emotions control you. Donât let them get the best of you.
I love u I love u I love u I love u I love u please donât go.
I am sorry that no one is hearing you, I am sorry no one is noticing that you have lost yourself. I wish I could take your pain away, it hurts me to see the pain in your eyes. I love you trough my words and I mean it. I just want you to stay, hold on a little longer okay? Please? For me.??
I hope you have an awesome day/ morning/ evening/ night.
If itâs night for you, go to sleep, I know itâs hard to fall asleep right now but you deserve a good sleep. If you have nightmares, please, donât let them fight you.
If itâs day for you, donât start it by such sad music, I know itâs impossible to have a good day with such mindset but take baby steps, start by drinking two cups of water in the morning and so on.. You will start building little healthy habits.
If itâs evening for you, youâre probably overwhelmed and stressed, I want you to know itâs okay to feel the way you feel. You donât need to be scared, of course youâre overwhelmed or stressed, I mean who wouldnât? But itâs important to know that when you feel that way you should do a little self care, such as taking a bath for example? You deserve to feel at ease and relaxed.
And if you are somewhere in between I hope you know that youâre stronger than you think, I know you will make it :)
Now wipe those tears away and smile for me, you really donât know much a smile can brighten someoneâs day, do you? I hope one day yours will become a genuine one where you donât need to fake it anymore, because I canât say this enough, you deserve a good smile and to feel alive. Youâre worth more than every fucking cent in this world.
Remember crying is not weakness, let it out as much as you can but donât let the emotion control you by giving up. Itâs okay, youâre here, youâre safe, you can let it out.
Did anyone asked you, how you are feeling today? If not, how are you really? I donât think youâre doing good, but you will feel good at one point. Donât give yourself up.
I am sorry you feel misunderstood.
But anyone who gets to be with you, doesnât know how fucking lucky he/ she/ they is :).
Enough with beating up yourself for today, okay?!
- The stranger that cares about you more than anything.
I hope this is enough for you to stay today, tomorrow will be a new day, a new start, let go now. I hope you can stay.
This is your sign to stay and treat yourself with love, you deserve it.
And in case no one told you today, again, I am so proud of you.
I hope you will remember my words :)
Until tomorrow, my friend :)
- Mila Martinees (not by me thatâs the user of who wrote it just spreading awareness :))
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0:01 - happier by olivia rodrigoÂ
3:20 - idontwannabeyouanymore by billie eillishÂ
7:10 - heather by conan greyÂ
10:54 - repeat until death by novo amorÂ
15:10 - visions of gideon by sufjan stevensÂ
19:48 - gilded lily by cultsÂ
23:45 - keep me by novo amorÂ
27:01 - anna by mark diamondÂ
30:08 - sunsetz by cigarettes after sexÂ
34:09 - space song by beach houseÂ
40:09 - fears (5ivers interlude) by freakytoosmooveÂ
43:52 - go solo by tom rosenthal
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everyday he told me about her,
and I told myself about him,
I think I am very good at hiding because he never knew,
He asked me if he should tell her,
And I asked myself if I should tell him,
but in the end I couldn't tell him,
I could only say yes and watch from afar as she accepted,
and reciprocated his feelings,
and at last I was the one standing alone in the crowd as they kissed and everybody clapped and congratulated as they exchanged the rings and kissed.
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@Daria348
1 year ago
I woke up in a good mood and happy today, but I stumbled upon this playlist and now I want to cry for the things I healed from. This is a job well done.
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