@HalcyonX86

9 months ago

I landed at my teenage self. I was stuck there. I couldn't go younger. And all I could think of is how much time I spent playing my guitar. I was 15-16, listening to my favorite bands on the radio. All while my parents ripped me apart for it. Pite made me keep playing and pushed me to prove them wrong. At 19, I opened for a band named Mushroomhead - one my friends and I listened to all the time. If anyone told me in high school that I'd share a stage with them before I was 20, I'd have laughed at the thought as ridiculous. But I did it. For reasons I cannot explain, the music in me died soon after. Then life caught up. Parenthood. Work. Responsibility. Injuries. Disability. Etc. And all came to a grinding halt when one of my children passed away and I just lost all motivation for any dreams I ever had. I had a blip of it come back in 2021. After 15 years of occasional picking, I took it back up and put more time in it in a year than I had in the 15 combined. But now I feel it fading again and I'm struggling to keep at it. I came across this video and through all the things I've done, skills I've had, things that brought me joy, the art, the old dream of my brothers and I opening a restaurant when we grew up...through all of that, this entire video only showed me with my long hair in my room in the attic plugged into my amp, my parents nowhere around so I could sink into it without their tearing me down. And when I asked him what made him happy, all he did was smirk and say "This right here" and busted out Anthrax's "Antisocial" and just...I guess I never saw myself like that before. And while I'm watching myself nail that song, I find myself bobbing my head and saying "Hell yeah, dude." Sorry for the length. I feel I could write a novela on it at this point. Thank you. I think I'll give my bass some love tomorrow (since it's almost 4am now) and see how it feels this time.

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