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270,386 Views • Premiered Jul 30, 2021 • Click to toggle off description
While there are important nuggets of information and discussions going on, I can't help but feel like there's a few important pieces of the puzzle that haven't been talked about yet. With that in mind, I figured I'd try to add my two cents, talk about a few of my favorite movies (Love Jones and Love and Basketball) that I haven't seen people talk about in a while, and bring up a few more examples of how black men experience and receive love.
To add to the pot, I also brought in a few friends from various communities, ages, and experiences to speak on what they see and feel as well. So we cover a bit of everything, being vulnerable, lacking emotional connection, playing a man's role, and the closest thing a man has to lacking pretty privilege... being broke!
All that and more on this episode of the Black Media Breakdown.
00:00 Intro
02:19 Story Time! (How I met my wife)
07:09 Are black men "Falling in love"?
09:25 Masculinity vs Vulnerability
27:45 Love or Role Competency pt 1
33:07 Broke Boys Don't Deserve no...?
41:10 Love or Role Competency pt 2
54:24 When the Love is Gone
58:26 Final Thoughts
For any black men interested in speaking with other men around this and similar topics, you can check out the Undugu foundation on facebook- undugukickbacks.com/?fbclid=IwAR3odri1uk6ZEW9kxpI4…
Song by Jobi- • Jobii - 404 Days of Christmas [Christ...
Views : 270,386
Genre: Education
Date of upload: Premiered Jul 30, 2021 ^^
Rating : 4.975 (115/18,389 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2022-04-08T21:39:36.635832Z
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YouTube Comments - 1,711 Comments
Top Comments of this video!! :3
As a consumer of a lot of black feminist media. This was so insightful and well composed, Enjoyed listening to black men's perspectives without the anti feminism rhetoric. I love how you address that patriarchy negatively affects men as well.
2.8K |
Tbh even though im gay myself i think its really good that youre doing things focused for straight men, theres not enough people out there giving good guidance to straight men and they end up in those redpill channels. Good luck with growing the channel, these vids are what people need
2K |
So, I actually came here in a somewhat desperate attempt to understand my boyfriend. He's a great guy but seems to be incapable of opening up and being vulnerable with me. So, in an effort to meet him where he's at, I went searching to see what black men are feeling and thinking about. Obviously you guys aren't a monolith, so I know this one video won't cover everything, but it definitely gave me some insight. I have a lot of things to think about and hopefully this will help me be a better partner to him. Strangely, this helps me understand what I'm looking for in a partner as an educated black woman, also. So regardless of how this relationship turns out, I do feel like I've gotten quite a bit of clarity. Thank you for such approachable, digestible, and honest media.
1.4K |
I love the fact that you provide a nontoxic male perspective on black cultural and social matters. I watch a lot of black female video essays so this is an interesting change of pace.
1.5K |
I feel like a lot of parents don't talk to children about relationships, expectations, and responsibilities in them.
675 |
That Chris Rock clip is so interesting about "what does she look like" vs "what does he do"? I'm a man and I remember when my younger sister first told me of her engagement the first question I asked her was "what does he do"? Not if he loved her and treated her well. Very interesting because it lets me know that we all (regardless of gender) participate in certain harmful ways of judging what makes a good companion for a man or a woman in a relationship. And that CR clip helped me realize my own conditioning.
680 |
As a black dude who struggles with driving anxiety (in a state where a car is basically required), I have found that the world is very unkind toward me, especially the dating world. I've worked and worked to overcome my driving fears. I've heard every platitude in the book. I am likely going to have to move to a city with useful public transport. I'd love to feel confident as a guy, but deep down it feels emasculating not having the ability to drive. It shouldn't feel this way, and I know that loads of people are like me...but it is still isolating from a masculine perspective. (Me venting. Please don't try to give me 'driving tips.' That would just prove my point)
885 |
This reminds me of a post I recently read on tumblr, about men not being treated with tenderness, or non sexual intimacy that women are used to. On that post were women talking about who they did something tender and intimate like washing their significant other hair or pulling a full romantic experiance of food, bath, massage, and their partners didn't know how to handle it. Some became really uncomfortable, shy and a couple cried because they weren't used to that kind of love and affection. Men are more then societies expactations of them. Men are not tools, they are people with feelings, thoughts, ambitions and dreams.
414 |
I recently went on a marathon of your videos. All I can say is thank you bro.
1.5K |
I'm a white dude, my wife is black. My parents divorced when I was a baby and I grew up with an alcoholic step dad who eventually killed himself (see you in hell ashoe) so i never grew up knowing what a strong relationship between a man and woman looked like. My wife did and would try to explain it to me, but I had to kind of learn it along the way. My MiL passed away last year and it nearly destroyed my FiL. This is a man who I respect more than probably any other in my life. And I'm not ashamed to admit he intimidated me a bit when we first met. Anyway, nothing more masculine than giving your heart and life to the woman you love.
753 |
Not really on the specific topic but I really appreciate your content coming from an older person (context: I'm almost 22) bc I often feel like there's a big gap in youtube commentary where a lot of creators are under 30 (and definitely under 40). I think commentary as a whole and us younger viewers benefit a lot from hearing from more mature people tempered by life experience (something younger creators can't replicate no matter how much reading they do).
339 |
I'm gonna pretend the one dislike was an accident. Honestly, I've been binging your videos, and it's incredible. Keep blessing us with the content.
747 |
Everybody repeat after me: "This one's for the algorithmmmmmmm"
438 |
I met my boyfriend at my mailbox at our college student apartment. We been together for 3 years now. After having terrible experiences with my ex’s, my current boyfriend is amazing. He has taught me alot and I’m so glad I met him. I noticed that black couples aren’t portrayed in a positive light on screen. They usually portray black couples arguing and fighting. I wish there was more of a positive portrayal overall on screen.
339 |
Patriarchy hurts both men and women. But for Black men and women in the US, even more-so because of systematic racism we don’t have the access to traditional roles. BW/BM aren’t allowed outside the home to be traditionally feminine or masculine in the way WW/WM are. We start at a disadvantage.
164 |
What hit a nerve for me: How I engage with male vulnerability. I remember seeing an ex-boyfriend cry and feeling SO uncomfortable because I wasn’t sure if he wanted me to see him that way & or what I should say. A lot to think about here. Thank you.
191 |
"Trash people need love too". As a trash person, thank you for this very important representation.
273 |
I once was so happy with a lover, I told her, "maybe I'll grow my hair. Dread, you know. Maybe it would be a cool look I've seen a few times.... and..."
Her Response:
"UH UH NO HELL NO, I AM THE WOMAN AROUND HERE!" (And a lot more, and she was actually serious.)
Hey, she's okay, I'm alright. We both found people that worked for us.
141 |
@neekromancer
2 years ago
I love how pro-men your content is without being anti-woman! You talk & I hear someone who really gets it!!
2K |