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5,932,946 Views • Premiered Dec 7, 2023 • Click to toggle off description
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Lyrics
i've been trying so hard to survive
sometimes I think that I wanna die
i feel so fucking guilty cuz god I'm so lucky to live my life
so I keep all the pain to myself
losing faith but nobody can tell
mom, I don't want you worried cuz that would just hurt me
so I pretend I'm fine
if you only knew
what my mind is telling me I should do
that I'm drunk and all alone in my room here tonight
i'm too sad to cry it's true
if you only knew
all the shit my brain is putting me through
you'd come running over straight to my room here tonight
i'm sorry but I need you
if you only knew
i wish I was somebody else
i'm constantly overwhelmed
now I'm falling again getting drunk with some friends
it's a silent cry for help
i wanna get better, want you to know
that I can't do this on my own
if you only knew
what my mind is telling me I should do
that i'm drunk and all alone in my room here tonight
i'm too sad to cry it's true
if you only knew
all the shit my brain is putting me through
you'd come running over straight to my room here tonight
i'm sorry but I need you
take me out of this hell
oh, somebody help
take me out of this hell
oh, I'm not myself
i wanna tell you what my mind is telling me I should do
that I'm drunk and all alone in my room here tonight
i'm too sad to cry but i want to
oh, if you only knew
#alexanderstewart
Views : 5,932,946
Genre: Music
Date of upload: Premiered Dec 7, 2023 ^^
Rating : 4.975 (782/124,590 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2024-05-01T08:19:24.596425Z
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YouTube Comments - 2,706 Comments
Top Comments of this video!! :3
Can someone like my comment for still alive till now
1K |
I covered my scar with a tattoo on my wrist but I remember that night like it was yesterday. This is for all the survivors out there who tried, or is thinking about trying, don't put your loved oned through that pain. No matter much it rains in your head it gets better, no matter what loss youre facing, our purpose is to carry the pain the others can't bear. We got this. You are loved. When you think nobody understands come here and read these comments and see how many of us do. We all do. We all hurt, but most of all we have each other
109 |
Leaving this here so everything someone likes it I can be reminded to listen to it. Needed to hear this more than you know
104 |
This song explains so much about what many of us are going through but don't open up about. Thanks for making us not feel alone!
977 |
I have no words, this is simply... thank you Alexander for opening with us and once again showing none of us are alone❤😭
541 |
Me and my brother haven't spoken in a few years. Out of nowhere I got a call today. It was my brother, this 6ft10 350 pound Federal Agent of 20 years was crying so hard I could feel it through the phone. He lost his son today in a tragic motorcycle accident. I didn't know what to say so I just started crying with him. I'm 51 years old I've road in a biker gang for so long I can't remember when the last time I cried about anything. But I finally broke. We didn't say but a few words to each other. But it was enough to know that we were and always will be brothers. I sent your song to his phone and told him how it's already helped me realize how precious life truly is. I hope it helps him through some of his pain like it has me. Thank you for this one of a kind masterpiece. Big fan Blackwater.
217 |
How amazing it is to be able to listen to a song that can hit every fiber of your being.
May we all win the silent battles we don't tell anyone about!
355 |
Depression and the struggles with suicidal thoughts are some of the most daunting. I survived my attempt years ago, and lately it’s been tough to find a way out of the rut my mind has put myself in. Thank you for such a beautiful song.
339 |
This is not a song. It's a masterpiece.
468 |
I felt exactly like this a year ago but then I entrusted myself to Jesus and He saved me. He gave me life, hope and love back. As the lyrics say "God take me away from this hell", He really did ❤
83 |
[Verse 1]
I've been tryin' so hard to survive
Sometimes I think that I wanna die
I feel so fucking guilty 'cause god I'm so lucky to live my life
So I keep all the pain to myself
Losin' faith but nobody can tell
Mom, I don't want you worried 'cause that would just hurt me
So I pretend I'm fine
[Chorus]
If you only knew
What my mind is tellin' me I should do
That I'm drunk and all alone in my room here tonight
I'm too sad to cry, it's true, oh
If you only knew
All the shit my brain is puttin' me through
You'd come runnin' over straight to my room here tonight
I'm sorry but I need you, oh
If you only knew
[Verse 2]
I wish I was somebody else
I'm constantly overwhelmed
Now I'm falling again gettin' drunk with some friends
It's a silent cry for help
I wanna get better, I want you to know
That I can't do this on my own
[Chorus]
If you only knew
What my mind is tellin' me I should do
That I'm drunk and all alone in my room here tonight
I'm too sad to cry, it's true, oh
If you only knew
All the shit my brain is puttin' me through
You'd come runnin' over straight to my room here tonight
I'm sorry but I need you, oh
[Bridge]
Take me out of this hell
Oh, somebody help
Take me out of this hell
Oh, I'm not myself
[Outro]
I wanna tell you what my mind is tellin' me I should do
That I'm drunk and all alone in my room here tonight
I'm too sad to cry but I want to
Oh, if you only knew
161 |
I lost my mum in August, and I have not been able to cry. Thank you, Alexander, for giving me a door to open into that part of my heart that needs to heal.
174 |
Battling depression with a smile on my face and constant tears in my eyes... I don't know how to tell my mom but this song has made me know that I'm not alone so thank you 💕
78 |
For those who want to talk but feel like a burden, we're here for each other.
3 |
I don't know if you'll ever read this but your song saved my life tonight. I really wanted to leave this world but I remembered your song and played it on a constant loop until the feeling passed. Thank you ❤
23 |
I know this song is already a a hit because you've already helped so many people who are really sad and hurt from others in their life.
Alexander you have THE MOST Beautiful SOUL AND SPIRI T AND EYES AND yourr ability to portray EMOTIONS that are SO Super INTENSE is BEYOND genius and talent I don't know what it is except Magic ❤❤ and from ANOTHER WORLD !!!!!!! We all wish you the best success with your career you are really honest and down-to-earth and you write the MOST Exquisite and gorgeous songs in the universe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
47 |
I have no words to describe how many emotions your music makes me feel. Every lyric has a deep meaning and I’m so grateful for discovering your music. Thank you for everything
132 |
Young man, you have a gift from God. Not just your amazing voice, but your music reaches inside people and touches their soul. This song...OMG. My grandson shared this video on his FB page. I think it's time he and I talk. God bless you.
54 |
1.6 million views in just 3 weeks tells you just how powerful this song is. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve listened to this song and just cried.
43 |
@iamnurseon
4 months ago
This song opens the most depressing moment of my life. One time in the past, I tried to leave this beautiful world in a way that was against my faith. I smiled at the people around me but deep inside I was asking for help. The attempts failed and things got better because of God and of my mom. Now I am a registered nurse helping patients and trying to help those who are risks for suicide. Thank you Alexander for this wonderful song.
2.5K |