lyrics:

i want to get rid of myself
but the hospitals are so expensive
i can’t afford to be this stupid
i really want to jump off the stairs
they’re gonna prolly call me stupid
they say that it is all in my head

i know that all of this is all my fault
the universe is so against me
or maybe i deserve to feel this way
to suffer and to suffocate
i need to understand that i’ll never be okay

i cannot take this anymore
it sucks to be wide awake
i prefer to sleep forever and ever
i don’t know what else i’m supposed to do
i’m not sansinukob’s favorite
i don’t want to accept these challenges

would it be okay if I call you tonight?
just tell me all your favorite stories
then i’ll be fine, no need to worry
resting peacefully to your voice
don’t wake me up no more
don’t wake me up no more

i don’t want to be
in this state that i am in
i play the violin
the violin on my wrist
can everyone just please
forget about me
so I can go now
it’s time for me to leave

i have to stay for everybody
but if i do, what it’s in it for me?
why was i made to have so many dreams
i’ll regret not fulfilling them
if I decide to set myself free

i’ll live another day
just to see you smile again
and maybe someday
maybe someday
i would want to stay
to see that crescent on my face
i’ll be my own light
in my darkness

and do something right
to avoid the madness
i’ll try not to be
so fucking reckless
i have to stay for me
guess i’ll try my best
to be my own light
in my darkness

thank u to my bradur for helping me with the video!