@mimimacaroon9400

3 years ago

i liked a girl for 5 months. we got super close and she talked about another girl she liked. that girl broke her heart by saying she was straight and my crush cried. she never cries ever, ever. the only other time she cried is when her mom said, “what did i do to deserve you?” in a bad way 3 years ago. i couldn’t take it anymore, so i confessed to her and she said she liked me back. i fell in love with her. she became everything to me. we talked late at night. she led me on, so bad. so so so bad. she talked about sharing hoodies, and the butterflies in her stomach. she talked about how i was too pretty. how she wanted to go to the park and get ice cream with me. she said things to me. things a friend would never say to another friend. her old crush texted her out of nowhere saying how she missed her, since they never really talked anymore. an hour later she said she might brew straight. i was heart broken, even just thinking of that possibility. i loved her. so much. it hurt me. for three weeks, this went on. she was acting different and i could tell she was loosing interest. i couldn’t take it anymore so i took a week break from her. i cried the entire time. i came back and she told me she hurt herself when i was gone. i thought it was because of me, but i still dont know. she never tells me her feelings, and i can tell when she is holding something back. mot even a day later, she told me she realized she was straight over the break, but she still wanted to be friends. i broke. it hurt. i loved her, more than anything. she was my happiness. she was light itself, and i was just a friend to her. i have a bad history with mental problems and self harm. i was doing so well too. the cuts i needed medical treatment, but i ignored it. i cut so deep and it was the only thing that would make me feral okay. she hated blood and gore. i thought of a future together. i loved her, so much. i was nothing though. i made her feel uncomfortable instead. i wanted to give her the world, but i guess good things don’t always happen.

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