Views : 5,333,208
Genre: Music
Date of upload: Aug 31, 2018 ^^
Rating : 4.964 (554/60,164 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2022-04-09T00:05:56.340303Z
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Top Comments of this video!! :3
I love this song because my dad died due to lung cancer this past May. He was a heavy smoker and my parents were divorced but they still loved each other deeply, and he loved me and my siblings so very much. I remember being around 9 and playing this song and he liked it quite a bit, and itâs always stuck with me, and now that heâs gone this song really means a lot to me. The lyrics hit a bit close to home too, coincidentally. I still love him and always will, at least he got to see me turn 14.
edit: hi everybody, this comment got more attention than i expected haha. iâm 15 now, and itâs officially been one year since he passed. iâm doing well, i always have to skip this song cause it hurts a little bit too much still, but thank you all for the kind comments and wishes! it means a lot <3
edit edit: hello AGAIN...just wanted to say that all the comments yâall left make my day and i very much so enjoy reading them. sorry if i donât get around to responding, there are a lot and i donât want to spam this comment section haha.
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To the person who read this,
Itâs been hard for you, I know, and it makes me sad that you donât see yourself in the way I see you. Sometimes they are things in life that cause us to loose ourselves, and the way you have is so unimaginable painful. I miss your smile, the way your eyes light up the whole room just by the sound of your laughter. I miss the way you accepted the way you look in the mirror without cursing yourself out about how ugly you look. I miss the way you didnât think of yourself as a failure because everyone makes mistakes, we all have flaws and we all arenât perfect. Itâs painful to see that no one around you seems to see the pain trough your eyes, but, stranger, I do, I see how heavy your heart is and how comforting the sadness for you might be, how afraid your heart is of happiness because it disappears in the end, right? You donât know how much impact you have in this world and itâs sad to see that your demons fight against you and want to take over you. Because you do make change, itâs something so simple and little that brightens up someoneâs whole world, it can be a small smile from your lips, the way you look at things youâre passionate about, the way you make yourself eat even though itâs been hard for you lately, the way you zoom out and go in your own world, you brighten up my world by reading this, it means a lot to me that youâre here, existing, but I donât want you to just exist, you deserve to feel alive. You deserve to get up in the morning and feel good about yourself. You deserve to feel something- to feel every damn second alive in this lifetime. Itâs heartbreaking that you think youâre not capable of being loved, because you are, I love you trough all my words and I hope you let it happen in your heart. Love is scary, I know, maybe you heart had been broken once and since then you wanted to be rather numb than feel ever again, it hurts me how you punish yourself, does it not deserve love? Because YOU DO deserve love, please forgive yourself, itâs not your fault that the demons want to take over your beautiful heart. Youâre not a bad person for distancing yourself from others, but you deserve someone to talk to, you deserve someone to listen. I am listening, you can tell me whatâs wrong. Itâs everything, isnât it? Thereâs something pulling your heartstrings on the ground and no one seems to understand how misunderstood you feel, itâs heartbreaking to know that I am behind the screen and canât give you a hug, thatâs why I will give you a big warm virtual hug and send you lots of love :). You matter. You are worthy. You are loved. You deserve good things. You deserve someone to listen. You deserve to eat and drink. You deserve to feel good and alive. You deserve to smile. You deserve a hug. You deserve to be all the things you want to be, because you deserve to have and feel good things happening to you and have a fulfilled life. I know I might not know you personally but I care about you so much, I write this because I want you to stay here with me, I want you to hold on a little longer because you matter so much to me, because I will not let you give up on yourself. I want you to see that you should not give up on yourself because you DESERVE GOOD THINGS. I want you to look back on the time when you were a kid, you didnât give up when you tried to swim for the first time, you didnât give up when you tired to walk for the first time and fell, you never gave up on yourself, you always kept on pushing forwards, so why canât you now? I know itâs tiring, your mentally tired, but dont your younger self deserve good things? look back at your eyes that used to be full of hope, look back on those dreams. Donât let yourself fall, you deserve better. We will both fight, I will fight for you. I wonât let those demons get to you. You can hold on to me, I wonât let you down :). Whenever you feel lonely, then look at the sky, I always look at it and think about you. Yes, you, because it makes me happy that thereâs someone looking right back, maybe we canât see each other but I can feel your presence here with me and thatâs enough for me, because I am glad your heart is beating and youâre still fighting. Youâre so much stronger thank you think, you didnât leave your spot on this earth even if you wanted to, you belong here, even though it doesnât feel like it, when you donât feel like belonging than build your own home here, put all your love in it and dreams. Think of you as a star when you feel alone, you shine because your heart is good, no matter what mistake you made, no matter about the past you had, youâre one of the stars that shine bright in the universe because youâre heart is beautiful, thatâs why the demons in your mind wants to have it. As one of the stars you see others stars, maybe they have felt the same way as you do at some point in there life, but they lighten up the universe with each otherâs presence. Youâre a star for me, maybe you donât see it yourself but I can see it, youâre beautiful from inside and out, your body is beautiful the way it is. You make me happy by reading this, you make me feel something by your presence and when you can make me feel that way than you also make other people feel that way about you too. I hope you stay for yourself and donât let your story get written by others but by yourself, itâs your story not theirs. As you can see, I say a lot of âI hopeâ because I have hope for you even if you donât have it for yourself, I see hope in you even though you might want to give up. Thatâs why I hope you wonât see the world in darkness and will see it colorful again, I hope I will give you a glimpse of hope and make the world you see a bit colorful for today. My favorite color is yellow, and I hope the next time you see the color yellow you will think about my words. If someone left you than donât blame yourself, donât think you werenât enough, donât lower yourself for someone who couldnât see the awesomeness in you. If you lost someone I am so sorry for your loss, they want you happy, I hope you donât feel guilty or regret because you were there, you spend enough time with them, they want you to be happy. They are in a good and safe place now. If someone broke your heart than I am so sorry that they couldnât see the way you look so beautiful because of the heart you have. Anyone who gets to be with you, doesnât know how fucking lucky he/ she/ they is :). If you arenât accepted at home or in general than I am so sorry that you have to deal with someone/ something you shouldnât be ashamed of, I accept you and support you, I accept you as a human being no matter what race, religion, nationality, skin color, or sexuality you have. Youâre safe here with me :). Youâre not useless, youâre not a burden to anyone. Youâre not a problem, youâre human and your feelings are valid. Youâre not being dramatic. Please donât starve yourself, you deserve food and to drink, I know itâs hard. It hurts to see that youâre in so much pain :( you deserve so much man, donât let your emotions control you. Donât let them get the best of you. I am sorry no one is noticing, I wish /hope I could take your pain away for today or even for a moment while youâre reading this. If no one told you, I am so proud of you, youâre reading this and itâs enough for me to be proud of you because youâre here and thatâs all that matters to me. If itâs night for you, go to sleep, I know itâs hard to fall asleep right now but you deserve a good sleep. If you have nightmares, please, donât let them fight you. If itâs day for you, donât start it by such sad music, I know itâs impossible to have a good day with such mindset but take baby steps, start by drinking two cups of water everyday in the morning and so on.. You will start building little healthy habits. If itâs evening for you, youâre probably overwhelmed and stressed, I want you to know itâs okay to feel the way you feel. You donât need to be scared, of course youâre overwhelmed or stressed, I mean who wouldnât? But itâs important to know that when you feel that way you should do a little self care, such as taking a bath for example? You deserve to feel at ease and relaxed.
And if you are somewhere in between I hope you know that youâre so strong for breathing despite the pain, I know you will make it :) I believe in you. All I want for you is to stay here, I really mean all my words, even if there is a lot of unsaid things I want to tell u and my text is getting longer and longer,I want you here.
I hope one day your smile will become a genuine one where you donât need to fake it anymore, because I canât say this enough, you deserve a good smile and to feel alive. Youâre worth more than every fucking cent in this world.
You can let go for today, I got you, you can cry your heart out as much as you want, but donât let it tear you down and let your emotions control you by giving up. Crying is not weakness. If you still feel alone I dedicate you a song as your friend.
âDusk till Dawn- Zayn feat. Sia (I prefer the slow version)â I hope you can think of me and will remind yourself of my words, I will for sure think of you.
In case no one told you and youâre unsure yourself, youâre a good person and I am so happy youâre here.
I hope this is enough to stay today, tomorrow will be a new day, a new start, let go now. Enough with beating yourself up for today, okay?
Life for those who couldnât, smile for those who forgot what a genuine smile is, love like thereâs no other, hug like its your last one.
If you read all of it, until tomorrow my friend :)
have a good day and great years.
I love you so much and am so proud of you, I hope you will remember my words- becho, the stranger that cares more about you than anything :)
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this just reminds me of how difficult life with depression and anxiety is. one day, hour, minute, or second you could be completely fine and enjoying yourself and then all of a sudden itâs like this dark energy swallows you whole, and you feel like youâre trapped inside a tiny box, or like your lungs are collapsing. itâs like the world around you disappears and all it is, is just you and all youâre triggers that are in that moment, and you try so hard to breathe through it put your lungs end up closing up and you keep gasping for air as tears run down your eyes and your head is spinning and youâre trying to scream but nothing comes out because youâre mouth is dry and youâre throat is closed, so you just keep trying to breathe and you just keep crying cause it feels like youâre dying and your heart is in a million piecesâŚ
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Hey 12 year old me, do you remember that big hole in your heart? It's gone. It's just a scar, just a memory, far away from you. Who did you find you ask? No one yet, you did it by yourself. You're strong, I always knew that. So, for the future me, who might be reading this in a year or two or even three, if she did it, you can too. Don't worry about not finding the one for you, because YOU don't need that kind of stuff, you have it inside you already. You have self-love. I love you. đ
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Lyrics
Shadows settle on the place, that you left
Our minds are troubled by the emptiness
Destroy the middle, it's a waste of time
From the perfect start to the finish line
And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones
'Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs
Setting fire to our insides for fun
Collecting names of the lovers that went wrong
The lovers that went wrong
We are the reckless
We are the wild youth
Chasing visions of our futures
One day we'll reveal the truth
That one will die before he gets there
And if you're still bleeding, you're the lucky ones
'Cause most of our feelings, they are dead and they are gone
We're setting fire to our insides for fun
Collecting pictures from the flood that wrecked our home
It was a flood that wrecked this
And you caused it. (Ă3)
Well I've lost it all, I'm just a silouhette
A lifeless face that you'll soon forget
My eyes are damp from the words you left
Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest
Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest
And if you're in love, then you are the lucky one
'Cause most of us are bitter over someone
Setting fire to our insides for fun
To distract our hearts from ever missing them
But I'm forever missing him...
And you caused it. (Ă3)
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Would appreciate it if someone liked this comment after quite some time passes!â¤ď¸
Dear 13 year old me,
howâs dad? is he still ignoring you when you tell him you love him? does he still pretend to want you and love you to get you to come to his house just for him to lock himself in his room with girls coming in and out every other hour? does he still force you to eat healthy regardless that youâre under weight? does he still bring girls in and out of your life just for you to come to his house one day and never see them again, resulting in increasingly severe abandonment issues? does mom still not believe you that heâs a sociopath even though heâs been diagnosed already?
does your brother still come sleep with you at night because heâs afraid of sleeping in the room next to dad? does his mom (me and him donât have the same mother, my dad sleeps around a lot. mind you, my brother is barely 6) still compare him to dad and end up ranting to me, crying because heâs trying so hard to not become the monster he is?
do you still crave affection from men because you never got any growing up? does mom still call you a psychopath because the gene runs in dads side of the family? have you gotten therapy for the fact that dad left for 7 years and came back just so he wouldnât go to jail? did he ever show up to court to fight for his rights for you, or was he out doing drugs instead?
does mom still drink herself to sleep? does she still think your schizophrenia is just âhormonesâ? does she still call you unlovable, ruthless, and unstable?
does Daisy, your bestfriend, still call you dramatic for cutting lines? does she still ignore your texts for days and when she finally responds, itâs a single word (i.e âokâ, âlolâ, or âyeaâ) does she still invite her friends over in front of you without asking you as well?
does jay, your step dad, still leave at 8 am and come home at 7 to yell at mom and get high upstairs on the balcony? does he still favor your step sister, his daughter, who you donât share the same dad with, over you?
does Chop, your dog, still lay in your lap while you cry blasting your music at night? does he still sleep heavy no matter where you go together because heâs used to the loud noises?
do people still tell you youâre fortunate because of the money your parents make without knowing what goes on at home? have people noticed your ED? have people noticed your scars? have people noticed your slipping grades? do you still day drink or have your parents caught on again? does mom still threaten to beat you? did you go to therapy yet or have you cancelled it, yet again, because you genuinely believe you donât deserve to get better? do you still take liquid meds instead of pills because youâre afraid youâre going to get addicted to them like mom and dad did?
and most importantly,
how many days clean are you, if at all? sober even?
Come back in a few months, future self. iâm sure itâs all gotten even worse.
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Dear 13 year old me,
You're tired. I know this, you know this, everyone knows this. You need to vent, or ask for help. You can't keep everything bottled up all the time, and we both know there's a lot from the past 4 years bottled up. You try fooling yourself with the idea that it's because of middle school sadness, or the people you hanged our with. Stop lying to yourself, and do something. Don't get too deep into your thoughts all the time. You can't do this by yourself. Stop lying to your friends, family, and mostly yourself. You can't cry. You don't know why, and search for other things to feel relief. Surround yourself with people who care, and people you trust. Please, I know you have doubts, but you need this.
From, future me (hopefully)
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@user-vb5nw2pr6c
5 years ago
This is officially the saddest song Iâve ever heard...
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