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3,272,999 Views • Premiered Oct 12, 2022 • Click to toggle off description
Dirt Femme Out Now 🦂: tovelo.ffm.to/dirtfemme
❗️TW❗️
I’ve tried to write this song for over 10 years. I know I haven’t talked about it a lot in interviews or even in my music which is my most honest place. I guess I had to find the right way to share the feelings and the vicious circle of behavior I was stuck in. I’ve been free from my ED and my body issues for a very long time but they did take up too many of my teenage years. I’m not sure why I wrote this song now. Maybe the 2 years of stillness brought back memories, maybe I needed all this time I’ve been free from it to be able to look back without feeling pain. One of the many feelings I remember is needing to crawl out of my own skin. I felt so trapped in a body I hated. I wanted a video that portrayed that, and Lisette and Toogie knew exactly how to create that with me. It was honestly really hard putting myself back in that headspace but it was necessary for me.
I’m gonna let the song speak for itself now ❤️
Director: Lisette Donkersloot
Production: Co Imposter
Executive Producer: Avtar Khalsa
Head of Production: Todd Ruhnau
Line Producer: Alberto Caruana
DP: Nicholas Wiesnet
Production Designer: Wesley Goodrich
SFX Artist: Chelsea Delfino
Wardrobe: Annie & Hannah
Make-up: Nick Lennon
Hair: Preston Wada
Creative Director: Charlie Twaddle
Choreographer: Teresa Toogie Barcelo
Location Manager: Alex Dominguez
Post Production: B-Movie Italia
Post Prod EP: Andrea Biscaro
Post Prod EP: Matteo Stefani
Editor: Mattia Levi
Color: Ethos
Colorist: Kaitlyn Battistelli
Color EP: Natasha Sattler
Color Producer: Nat Tereshchencko
VFX: Exchanges VFX
Executive Producer: Luca Loschi
Producer: Letizia Sala
3DCGI Supervisor: Marco Negri
VFX Supervisor: Mirko De Angelis
Lyrics
Counting while I run the tap
I'm on my knees
Choking on my hands all night
In my sleep
Counting all the calories
Now get ‘em up
Body positivity
Help me out
The swans of ballet
Their skin and their bones
That’s not me
I’d die for my love though
Break, break till I wither away
What I see is not me
What I see is not me
1 2 Grapefruit
How am I back here again?
3 4 lose more
I know my mirrors are lying
5 6 hate this
Take back the body I’m in
What I see is not me
What I see is not me
1 2 Grapefruit
Wish I could change overnight
3 4 lose more
Kill my obsession please die
5 6 hate this
How am I still in this fight?
What I see is not me
What I see is not me
Sweet girl you’re so disciplined
Now keep it down
I don't like my measurements
Won't make a sound
Diana how she guards the clock
She’s in control
Now why is everyone in shock?
You let her go
The swans of ballet
Their skin and their bones
That’s not me
I’d die for my love though
Break, break till I wither away
What I see is not me
What I see is not me
1 2 Grapefruit
How am I back here again?
3 4 lose more
I know my mirrors are lying
5 6 hate this
Take back the body I’m in
What I see is not me
What I see is not me
1 2 Grapefruit
Wish I could change overnight
3 4 lose more
Kill my obsession please die
5 6 hate this
How am I still in this fight?
When I'm hurting
Every time I have a bad day
Then everyone gets lost
But I’m learning
Every time I feel out of place
That you’re all I’ve got
1 2 Grapefruit
How am I back here again?
3 4 lose more
I know my mirrors are lying
5 6 hate this
Take back the body I’m in
What I see is not me
What I see is not me
1 2 Grapefruit
Wish I could change overnight
3 4 lose more
Kill my obsession please die
5 6 hate this
How am I still in this fight?
What I see is not me
What I see is not me
#tovelo #grapefruit #dirtfemme
Views : 3,272,999
Genre: Music
Date of upload: Premiered Oct 12, 2022 ^^
Rating : 4.923 (1,314/66,811 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2024-05-16T06:33:24.589822Z
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YouTube Comments - 2,334 Comments
Top Comments of this video!! :3
Tove, I cannot thank you enough for this song. I’ve struggled with my weight all my life. I was so afraid of gaining weight and not fitting in society that I just stopped eating. I existed to lose weight. At my lowest I couldn’t get out of bed anymore because I didn’t have energy. Anorexia almost killed me in 2018. The cruel thing is EDs are very silent because no one wants to talk about it. I wanted to find help, but I didn’t. I had to figure a way out by myself - and your music played a very important role on my recovery. It reminded who I really am.
If it had took me, I would have missed out on so much! I wouldn’t have been accepted in the University of my dreams - which I did in 2019. I wouldn’t have been able to meet you and hug you too thank you for everything - which I did in the same year. I wouldn’t have met the love of my life, who kindly loves every piece of myself that I’ve always hated - and I did in 2020. This is just to name a few examples.
I know it’s so hard talking about it, but I’m so glad you did through your music. We have to talk about it - awareness is everything. To each one of you suffering from an eating disorder out there, know that you are not the number in the scale. You are loved, you matter. EDs are a lifetime struggle, but recovery is possible. Most importantly: it is so worth it. Don’t give up on you and the life you have ahead. This is my before and after. I’m so glad to finally be me.
Thank you once again, Tove. I love you!
939 |
17 yrs of this madness. I'm 56 yrs old in December. This disorder doesn't care about your age, sex, colour... I'm sending everyone my ❤️ and understanding 🤗🐾
213 |
Ok, so, don't get me wrong, I LOVE Marina and Lana Del Rey, but why doesn't Tove Lo get the recognition she deserves for being and indie queen? Her voice is honestly angelic, she's such an unappreciated talent ♡
1.3K |
Full circle moment; I was considering not going to a Tove gig because I felt fat and thought I’d be out of place which is Ridiculous I know. I told myself it was just anxiety and pushed through and had the best time. This track has really resonated with me, and of course it’s absolutely beautifully produced. I love it. Thank you Tove.
394 |
This is her best era so far! I cannot wait for the album ❤️
673 |
i like how this song talks about a struggle with body image without putting down anybody's body type & just keeping the focus on the common struggle with meeting a standard which harms many <3
488 |
Idk if it was intentional to make "grapefruit" also kinda sound like "break through" but i found it very poetic. Its so easy to miss the signs with eating disorders and many suffer in silence from society's unrealistic expectations. Thank you. 💟
337 |
This song hits really hard for anyone going through or knowing someone with an eating disorder, or just anyone who struggles with body image. I've come a long way with my body image, so this song doesn't hit me there, but strangely the chorus reflects how I feel about my struggle with panic attacks. This song came at the perfect time for me ❤️ Thank you
612 |
I cannot believe all these years later and she’s still doing the same amazing, flawless, perfect work but on a higher level each era. This is truly amazing and beautifully heartbreaking at the same time.
391 |
one of the most underrated songs on this album
62 |
I have always loved Tove Lo for her body and sex positivity, but to hear her talk about body dysphoria and ed issues, is absolutely amazing. I am literally moved to tears, this is such an amazing song and I thank her for talking about it.
177 |
This has been one of Tove's best eras. Songs with extremely important lyrics and a special message for all fans.
I feel special to live at the same time as this exceptional artist. ❤️❤️❤️
452 |
Her music never misses. Emotional, danceable, iconic. So ready for this new album.
174 |
The line “what I see is not me” has no many meanings! It’s genius 🙌
1) the representation in media is not inclusive
2) the feeling that our bodies are simply vessels that don’t reflect who we really are on the inside
3) the loosing of ourselves by trying to be something we are not
4) the self-image that we project onto our own bodies
5) the reminder that the unkind things we tell to ourselves are not true
I love you ❤ you are radiant! ✨
46 |
I’m not a woman nor a struggling person but Tove has given me a peek and appreciation for what is like to be young, in love, heartbroken, struggling, user and without a clear path in life. All with and ear for poetry and heart. Thank you Tove. You are needed!
51 |
I’ve been a fan for years but this album is on another level. Incredible.
218 |
The art was so cool, the room that represented her body and the abuse she causes to herself and as time goes on we see the wounds she’s inflicted on herself. Such an amazing portrayal, I was oooing the whole way through ❤️
518 |
I love that she's a scorpio and she's not affraid to show it.
4 |
"Grapefruit helps us restore our own power and claim our own spiritual purpose. The effects of grapefruit include supporting our sense of self-love, especially with regards to loving and honoring ourselves. Grapefruit encourages us to look within and address the issues we've been avoiding"
4 |
@tovelomusic
1 year ago
This song is for all of us who have or will struggle 💗
5.8K |