@GhostMonkey772

2 years ago

I started drinking when I was 16. I would drink at parties, but I also started drinking alone because I was unhappy, and I was in a lot of emotional pain all the time. My mom was very aggressive when I was younger, and my brother hated her and so did I. He started hanging out with shady people, he started failing all his classes, he was never home, and my parents fought all the time. I also ran away several times. I was always trying to figure out a reason as to why I was here or what the purpose of life was. So, I started looking at different philosophies, religions, and beliefs. When I was 18 after I was hungover, I got on my knees and I prayed for the first time. I asked if God was real that he would show me he was real because I couldn’t take it anymore. I was crying when I prayed for this. At that moment I felt a presence come over me like a wind. It was barely noticeable, but it was unlike anything in my life I had experienced up until that point. I was surprised when I felt it and I remember saying “what was that?” after that experience I pretty much forgot what happened and kept partying, until my senior year when I got arrested. After my arrest, my parents lost all their trust in me and I was expelled from high school. I was told never to come back to my school. At that time, I felt afraid and hopeless. That’s when I started looking for God, and I prayed that he would reveal himself in my life and that he would give me signs. My prayers began getting answered so consistently that I couldn’t deny that God was doing something. It was mysterious and compelling. I ended up in Church and started reading the bible hours a day. I stopped hanging out with all my other friends because they were continually getting arrested. I was able to forgive my family and myself and to ask to be forgiven. I noticed how at Church people were judgmental and how they formed cliques but were afraid to be around anyone else different from them. It increased my faith because I realized Jesus was not like that and ever since I was young, I saw people as people regardless of who they were. After a while, it’s like I could see God's presence was in my life and then it felt like he wasn’t, and then he was, and then he wasn’t. One day I woke up and felt more depressed than I ever have in my entire life. I felt like I was dying on the inside. That night I prayed, and I said, God, I don’t see my life five years from now I'm going to die Jesus save me Lord, please save me. I was weeping when I said it and when I asked him to save me, I felt a presence inside of me like a heartbeat, and I felt it once like a pulse, and I said Lord please save me and I felt it again even stronger. It was like radiance. When I woke up the next morning, I had transformed everything felt brand new like I was a kid again. All my fears and all my racing thoughts everything was gone. I looked at my hands, and I said this can’t be real, it's impossible. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I saw a different person. I started praying, and the holy spirit became entirely real to me; it was washing over me and inside of me. It was total love and peace, and I heard a voice but not an audible one, it was an inner voice. It said I am with you; I love you, I will never leave you, it’s done it’s finished. That was May 3rd, 2009, and ever since then I’ve followed God, I have seen many things change and many things I know wouldn’t have changed without faith and belief. I know what it’s like to be lost to feel you have no hope. Don’t ever think you’re stuck, or life can’t change because it can. My mom is a Christian now, Its night and day. Some of the things that went away during that period were severe anxiety and my addiction to alcohol. I’ve seen and experienced so many things that are miraculous and seen how God has worked in my life. When we ask God to forgive us for what we’ve done and turn away from our sins and wrongdoings and we believe in Christ's sacrifice everything changes. His word says if we confess with our mouths that Jesus is Lord and believe in our hearts that he died and rose again we will have eternal life but not just life after death but abundant life in the present. Our sins are erased not only past, present, and future but our burdens and fears are lifted also. Our thoughts, our minds, our hearts, our souls are transformed and united with God and we know his spirit lives in us. If you seek, pray, and knock you will know JESUS IS KING!!! HE LIVES!

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