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YouTube Comments - 1,128 Comments
Top Comments of this video!! :3
As a stay-at-home mom of 8- and 6-year old boys, I can tell you that disciplining children requires A LOT of time. There are days when I spend close to half our waking hours disciplining and correcting. This is part of the sacrifice required to raise flourishing humans, and why it is important to have a parent at home.
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Even back in the 70’s…..friends of my husband came over for dinner with their child….about 3-4, who in the course of events thought it was great fun to slam our front door …over and over and over………since the parents totally ignored the situation….eventually I went and held the door so he couldn’t slam it and said “No”. Didn’t touch him. Didn’t raise my voice even. Just said “No”. He had a complete meltdown. The mother took him out to their car because he was screaming. She was furious at me…..and the husband went along. They left and we never saw them again. My husband (who became my ex) was pissed at me and thought I was out of line. I still don’t think I did a thing wrong. I sometimes wonder how that child turned out.
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"Don't let your children do things that will make you dislike them."
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Children are lacking independent play time outdoors. This has led to children growing up anxious, unsocial, and frustrated.
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My high school latin teacher made us repeat this: "Life isn't fair, nobody owes you anything."
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My mother in law gave some great advice on discipline.
I asked her how I will know when to discipline children.
She told me to ask myself if actions of the child would be tolerated if done by an adult.
If an adult comes into your home and intentionally goes around knocking things off shelves, repeatedly slamming doors, kicking you, calling you names, that’s when to discipline.
Anything you would not tolerate from an adult is definitely not something you would tolerate from a visitor in your home.
That being said, she reminded me kids are not little adults.
They do not have the ability to regulate their emotions until older.
That doesn’t mean they can get away with destructive behavior.
That’s when the teaching moments come in.
They need to know actions have consequences.
Never burden them with adult topics.
Do not allow kids to think they are the center of the universe.
Give them age appropriate chores.
They need to know how to do every day life.
We taught our kids how to cook basic things starting at age 3.
Kids want to learn.
Teach them.
These people saying chores and cleaning are abuse…get out.
Kids never having accountability is why these now adults are behaving the way they do.
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Divorce compounds the problem. The parents compete to please the child and assuage their guilt. They opt out of conflict with the child out of fear to losing them to the other parent.
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I'd just like to add a different perspective, my grandma called cps on my mom for her disciplining me. So now, as a parent, when my toddler throws a tantrum In public, I take her into the bathroom, car or go home, and punish her privately. So to others, I might not look like I'm doing anything, but I actually am, but I don't want to lose my kid because Karen called cps on me. 🤷♀️ that's something I'm very scared of because we get judged when we don't punish kids, but then when we do, everyone has an opinion and a phone and end up judging you for how you punish ( correct) your child.
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I have a niece who thinks that no discipline is the way to go. She has a 5 year old daughter, and she is the most insufferable child to be around. Nobody likes her, my grandkids cannot stand her. I actually feel sorry for her, her parents are abusing her and I am sure it will have very bad outcomes in the years to come.
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My grandma, who was the single best person I have ever met, was an orphan by the age of 8… she had 10 siblings , she was one of the youngest. The older siblings just took care of the younger ones, there was no foster care or foster parents. She left school at 8 and worked in cotton mills… met my grandad at 16 married, stayed together for life. Grandad was in the army, then a mechanic with his own business. They lost a couple of children young, then had my uncle and mother: my mum and dad divorced and my grandma helped to raise me from when I was 12 weeks old. I never heard that woman talk about trauma, or how hard her life had been. She didn’t sit and dwell in her feelings…. I never even heard her complain. She had every reason to, she had a very real difficult childhood…. But she just got on with things. People today have no idea they’re born!
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I'm an older man and I would add that it wasn't just my parents who disciplined me. It was a responsibility that nearly all adults accepted. The lesson "respect your elders" was not just some warm and fuzzy suggestion but it had actual teeth. If I misbehaved near any adult then they would tell my parents or scold me themselves. This has been beaten out of our culture by well intentioned idiots. These are the same people who claim that "it takes a village" to raise a good citizen. Also, parents themselves were expected to discipline their children in public. If little Billy was holding the door closed so people couldn't go in the store then dad had better handle it or someone would scold HIM! In general I think we would do ourselves a favor by not casually chucking out generations of tradition without careful consideration of how it would affect us.
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I love Jonathan’s point about learning to accept injustice. I’ve noticed the practice of buying a kid presents on their siblings’ birthday getting more and more common. Because it’s ‘fair’. By contrast when I was a kid, sometimes my sister would get something and I wouldn’t, and vice versa. And we learned the lesson that sometimes other people get things that you don’t and that’s life, there doesn’t have to be a reason. So much of the modern silliness can be traced back, to some extent, to never learning that lesson.
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It’s all so crazy. When I pulled my kids to homeschool them, we entered that community in our area and it was like going back in time in the best way. There are still families who remember how to raise kids. ♥️
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I would like to add that inconsistent parenting is equally harmful as permissive/soft parenting. When you have one parent who berates and screams at you for talking back, and the other who allows you to get away with doing nothing and everything, you end up going absolutely insane, because your mind is fighting against itself over what the "correct" mode of operating is ALMOST ALL the time!
Speaking from personal life experience: Don't have kids if you hate your spouse! It will not save your relationship, you'll just destroy the child's life and your own.
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As a father of 2, my wife & her family (mother & grandmother) are ALWAYS trying to undermine, challenge & oppose my authority over my children. The kids will talk back to them, scream no & speak really aggressive to them, then when I come with a stern voice telling them to stop, they do it immediately with no hesitation. But then I always gotta hear about how I’m being mean or they’re using excuses like my son being on the spectrum (as if autistic people can’t comprehend discipline). I’d think they’d be appreciative that I can get the kids to behave when they can’t.
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Good friends of mine have a child who they claim has ADHD, like it’s a blanket excuse for his behaviour; I can’t help but notice that they NEVER follow through on threats of punishment. When my son is disciplined, he knows it.
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Man, what a difficult conversion. We know that human strength is built upon resilience training. However human efforts are directed towards creating comfort for ourselves and others. This creates the conundrum society is facing right now.
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One of the main things I've taught my son is how to grit his teeth and reset himself emotionally. Some may say "dont bottle up your emotions" -- that is the dumbest thing ever. To be a functioning adult, you MUST be able to control your emotions - thats slmost the defining characteristic of adulthood, especially manhood
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I'm old, and I grew up in Africa. It was highly unusual for a child to grow up without a broken bone, or sprain, or dislication, or chipped teeth, as we spent our time climbing trees, swimming, trampolining, having adventures in the bush swimming in rivers ... When a kid got the mumps in the village, my Mom washed our faces, put our shoes on, and took us to visit. The philosophy was that childhood diseases toughened your immune system... 'What does not kill fattens'! Very serious incidents such as a bite from a venemous snake or hospitalization from illness were infrequent. Although we were taught in early school years how to identify water likely to be infested with bilharzia and other skills like that, we never did learn why tortoises managed to run away and never be found when we only took our eyes off them for a moment!
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@ChrisWillx
2 weeks ago
Hello you savages. Watch the full episode with Jonathan here - https://youtu.be/SeShvzwiiRc Get a Free Sample Pack of all LMNT Flavours with your first box at www.drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom
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