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3,637,002 Views ⢠Premiered May 20, 2020 ⢠Click to toggle off description
In this movie, co-writers J.J. Abrams and Chris Terrio demonstrate their complete inability to craft anything even resembling a meaningful (or coherent) plotline, forever cementing the fate of the most spectacular franchise failure in history. Six months out from this farce, with the blackness knocking on our doors, let's take a closer look at everything that went wrong.
In part one, we examine how Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy allowed the Skywalker Saga to fail from hour one, by not laying out a competent framework for the trilogy.
In part two, we take a look at how this movie retcons Rian Johnsonâs Star Wars: The Last Jedi, with a gotcha mentality that pranks the audience.
In part three, we see the tragic loss of Carrie Fisher, and discuss a more fitting tribute for Princess Leia. Perhaps one akin to Yondu in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2?
Part four is all about fetch quests, and how the plot of this movie is structured like a bad Final Fantasy game.
Part five we meet the Knights of Ren, the most boring characters ever.
Part six, the rushed pacing of this Star Wars Episode IX movie script and how it ruins many a scene.
Part seven and we must discuss the return of Emperor Palpatine. How did Sheev return? Who knows!?
Part eight? Time for some BABU FRIK!
Part nine and Palpatineâs fleet of first order Star Destroyers (sorry, final order Star Destroyers) is examined. Who built these things!?
Part ten we discuss the character of Finn, the rogue stormtrooper played by John Boyega.
Part eleven and itâs the thrilling battle for Exegol! What a terrible scene!
Part twelve and itâs time to discuss Kylo Ren, played by Adam Driver. Why was Kylo ren evil? Why did he do away with Han Solo? We may never knowâŚ
Part thirteen and itâs time to meet REY SKYWALKER as played by Daisy Ridley. The Rise of Skywalker ending is quite a nightmare to behold!
The Rise of Skywalker: A Complete Cinematic Failure. Episode IX.
âşPATREON: patreon.com/thevitoshow
âşMERCH: killdozer.industries/
âşTWITCH: twitch.tv/thevitoshow
âşTWITTER: twitter.com/vitocomedy
Music:
Almost Bliss, Batty McFaddin, Bittersweet, Club Seamus, Disco Con Tutti, Laser Groove, Leopard Print Elevator, Reunited, Shaving Mirror, Summon the Rawk, Too Cool, Wagon Wheel, Who Likes to Party.
All Written by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Chapters
0:00 Spoiler Warning
0:09 Opening
2:12 Chapter 1 - Kathleen Kennedy & The No-Good Very Bad Plan
6:51 Chapter 2 - Star Wars: The Last Gotcha
14:05 Chapter 3 - Sleep Well, My Cocaine Princess
17:49 Chapter 4 - Fetch Quest: The Motion Picture
21:41 Chapter 5 - The Knights of Boring
23:12 Chapter 6 - Dragonball Time
26:20 Chapter 7 - Rey's Magic Grandpa
30:36 Chapter 8 - Babu Frik Rules
30:43 Chapter 9 - Palpatine's Stupid Star Destroyers
35:06 Intermission
36:00 Chapter 10 - Finn Done Dirty
38:30 Chapter 11 - Never Tell Me the Odds
41:19 Chapter 12 - The Tragedy of Ben Solo
48:08 Chapter 13 - Palpatine's Plan Makes No Sense
48:39 Chapter 13 - Palpatine Dies Like a B
50:12 Chapter 14 - The Rise of Rey Skywalker
55:22 Chapter 15 - The Death of Star Wars
58:35 PLEASE LIKE & SUBSCRIBE
Views : 3,637,002
Genre: Film & Animation
Date of upload: Premiered May 20, 2020 ^^
Rating : 4.789 (7,120/127,781 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2022-04-09T21:44:24.055669Z
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YouTube Comments - 18,136 Comments
Top Comments of this video!! :3
I was watching this movie on an airplane and people still walked out...
7.5K |
Disney had Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher and they didn't put them together on screen. Let that sink in.
5.5K |
The fact that the rise of Skywalker ends with the death of the Skywalker bloodline and replaces them with a Palpatine is the ultimate example of not understanding your own premise.
1.1K |
What they did to Luke in the sequel trilogy is unforgivable.
989 |
wow the roast of the movie is more interesting than the movie itself
3.3K |
Don't forget, it's not only Luke's lightsaber Rey buries. It's Anakin's. So she buried Anakin's lightsaber on the planet he was born and raised a slave, watched his mother die, slaughtered a whole tribe of people, and in the substance he hates most: sand
6.9K |
Itâs really too bad that there are only 6 starwars movies⌠I really wish they wouldâve made more after episode 6. Real shame we will never know what becomes of Luke.
453 |
The biggest crime of the sequel trilogy is that they squandered the last chance to see the original characters on screen for the last time.
96 |
Disney's fanfiction is all about Rey beating everyone: Better pilot than Poe, better sidekick than Finn, better "chosen one" than Anakin, more powerful than Palpatine, better at understanding and finding weird McGuffin artifacts than Luke...
Not to mention Rey steals Luke's lightsaber, home, X-Wing, power AND FUCKING LAST NAME.
1.9K |
Snoke might actually be my favorite character of the Sequel Trilogy since he practically represents it entirely. He starts off big and mysterious, making you wonder about the potential of where it all leads to, only to end up as nothing inside a cloning tank of Sith urine.
4.1K |
"Imagine getting a job at Subway, and after 3 days of employee training you ask the Manager if you can be his son."
LOLOLOLOL!!
I just smashed my face into my keyboard no less than 50 times from laughing so hard!
54 |
I feel bad for Mark heâs the only one who genuinely seemed to love and care about his role and they completely biffed it
144 |
The Sequel Trilogy isnât canon.
4.4K |
Anakin when heâs building C-3P0:
âAlright mom, heâs almost finished. Just need to update him to prevent him from translating ancient Sith language in accordance with Republic Lawâ
2.7K |
It was very nice of the Knights of Ren to wait to try until he had a lightsaberâŚand it was very nice of you to not mention that the reason he didnât have a lightsaber is because he threw away his red joint for literally no reason other than to be unarmed so Rey could teleport him one
47 |
The fact that Rey has no arc, that she is so powerful from the beginning without any training it befuddles me. No redemption qualities. No flaws. Nothing to buildup.
35 |
The sequels are a fever dream Han Solo had during his time frozen in carbonite
2K |
So:
-Palpatine was still alive
-The New Republic was a failure that was eliminated by a Neonazi group in a few days
-The Jedi Order is still gone
-Han Solo die as a smuggler
-Anakin didn't bring back balance to the force.
-Anybody can create weapons that destroy planets nowadays.
The sequel triology makes the originals feel pointless.
1K |
This hour long rant was more engaging and more coherent than all 3 movies.
122 |
@vito
4 years ago
This video consumed about three months of my life. I hope it was worth it! To watch the uncensored cut, head to www.patreon.com/thevitoshow.
6.1K |