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King of the Moon - Chapter 6: Who Needs Friends (With Products Like These)
Video by ThatGoodGraphic www.thatgoodgraphic.com/

PLOT
Push is havin' a rough time as a moon miner. Workin' hard didn't make his fortune. Insurance scammin' didn't make his fortune. Sellin' blood isn't helping him enough to make ends meet. Now he's on reduced oxygen in his cardboard box home in Shackleton Heights, hallucinating. On top of that he's feelin' lonely and wishes he had somebody to talk to on the moon. Then a magical thing happens! All of the United Industries (tm) products he owns come to life and have a party with him. Looks like moon capitalism works after all, and nobody's truly alone so long as they can buy friends!

LYRICS

VERSE 1
All I do is work but I'm still poor
Can't afford no bed I lie on the floor
The few things I own are my only friends
I'm better off alone I have learned time and time again

Maybe I sold too much blood today
Or my air's getting cut off, I can't afford to pay
But I think I'm starting to hallucinate
Cause everything around me's startin' to dance
Huh, that's weird...

CHORUS 1
Who needs friends with products like these
Not me, not me, not me
No need to pretend with products like these
Not me, not me, not me

Gadgets, gizmos, trinkets are my best friends, yeah
Contraptions, utensils, widgets are my best friends, yeah
Who needs friends...

VERSE 2
You say money can't buy happiness
But what about my happy lamp (checkmate)
Why waste my money on a window
When I have a projector for that (look at the stars)
Throw another log on the livestream fire
And listen to the rain on the wire (10-hour loop)
I never believed in love
Until I bought my jerk-o-matic

CHORUS 2
Who needs friends with products like these
Not me, not me, not me
No need to pretend with products like these
Not me, not me, not me

Gadgets, gizmos, trinkets are my best friends, yeah
Contraptions, utensils, widgets are my best friends, yeah
Who needs friends...

BREAKDOWN
Who needs friends?
Buy more things

OUTRO
Nice moves, Toaster
Toothbrush, looking good! Where's Paste tonight?
Good to see you, Mandatory Broadcast System
You've got some nerve showing up here, Oxygen Supply Vent
Food Rehydrater, have you tried the quiche? Just add water
Not now Jerk-O-Matic, don't look at me with those bedrooms eyes

👑🌝👑🌝👑🌝👑🌝👑🌝👑🌝👑🌝

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This project is funded in part by FACTOR, the Government of Canada and Canada’s private radio broadcasters. Ce projet est financé en partie par FACTOR, le gouvernement du Canada et les radiodiffuseurs pri