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180,985 Views • Premiered Jun 11, 2020 • Click to toggle off description
presave here: ffm.to/foreverfifteen
ya girl got a camera and she's filming her own content now... watch out! I wanted to basically embody the "lofi chill beats to study to" girl with this lyric video while I EDIT THE ACTUAL MUSIC VIDEO. stay tuned for that!
Beginning Dialogue: Maggie Nelson reading her book, Bluets
Follow me:
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Facebook.com/mothicamusic
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Spotify: open.spotify.com/artist/1JhiIIXT9DWqEU3BYFZwGA?si=…
LYRICS:
I can’t cry, I'm too anxious
Restless mind, I can’t shake this
Said I’m fine but we both know I’m faking
I’m not feeling numb,
I’m just feeling everything at once
Hate when you ask how I’m doing
I know that you’re just assuming
I’m better now, not bleeding out
Get outta bed on a good day
Lately that’s all I can do, hey
I go through hell, to hide myself
I think about new ways to hurt me
But don’t want my mother to see
It’s not that I feel undeserving
Just blame it on the chemistry
That’s why
I can’t cry, I'm too anxious
Restless mind, I can’t shake this
Said I’m fine but we both know I’m faking
I’m not feeling numb,
I’m just feeling everything at once
Whatever I do I can’t slow down
Please don’t leave me alone now
Cuz when I stop, my demons talk
I’m coming off apathetic
I play it off like it’s an aesthetic
Clearly I care too much, but I’m fooling everyone
I think about new ways to hurt me
But don’t want my mother to see
It’s not that I feel undeserving
Just blame it on the chemistry
That’s why
I can’t cry
Im too anxious
Restless mind
I can’t shake this
Said I’m fine
but we both know I’m faking
I’m not feeling numb,
I’m just feeling everything at once
Views : 180,985
Genre: People & Blogs
Date of upload: Premiered Jun 11, 2020 ^^
Rating : 4.985 (25/6,856 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2022-04-08T12:42:46.396282Z
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YouTube Comments - 208 Comments
Top Comments of this video!! :3
It is 1:38 a.m. and I’m in my living room dancing to this cause it’s just so moving and i relate to it so much.
230 |
Came here from tiktok and this is honestly amazing, as someone with clinical depression this really hits hard
188 |
Quickly becoming my favorite artist!! Every song release is fucking fantastic. Thank you for sharing this with us Mothica!!!
141 |
Hey, just wanted to tell you this song has given me the strength to seek help, I leave for hospital tonight. Thank you for putting it into words. I love and appreciate you so much. Keep shining, I can’t wait to see your growth when I come back.
34 |
I’ve been unsatisfied with the music i’ve been listening to, and once i heard this song i realized it’s everything i’ve been looking for. This song is amazing.
15 |
The quote at the beginning is by Maggie Nelson from Short Circuits: Aphorisms, Fragments, & Literary Anomalies
36 |
Why is it your beats always make me feel ALL the feels? looking forward to seeing the final product.
44 |
Love this, put everything into words. Thank you.
62 |
This definitely passes the vibe check 😩😩😌😌
79 |
Bringing me back to freshman year of college in the worst way...
35 |
This song is exactly how I feel when I heard it it gave me chills
18 |
i love how good you can transport so many emotions with you’re music
10 |
I just saw this on TikTok and u didn't know it was you until I looked it up here on youtube. I'm so glad I did! I've been listening to your music for a while and it really resonates with me. I love you and your music so much!
13 |
It's a wonderful song! It's so relatable as well.
24 |
THAT WAS SO COOL. love the chill vibe 😎
43 |
I'm convinced that this song will NEVER get old
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I find it a super interesting and creative coincidence that there's actually science behind the "blue is the color off the universe... no it's actually beige" but it can also be interpreted as "I used to think that depression was just how the world was but now I think there's so many human experiences to make that the universe feels more like it's a color a human could have"
1 |
I relate to this so much. I dealt with severe depression and anxiety and I felt useless and felt like the universe was out to get me. I always bottled up my feelings because I hate when people assume I can’t help myself. I’m still struggling with it lowkey. I’ve dealt with multiple Suicidal attempts. Growing up wasn’t easy for me and it makes me hella insecure with myself. This song is really powerful for me, and I relate to it on so many levels. Even tho I am depressed I joke about it as a coping mechanism and I feel like it helps, but I have to stop bottling up my emotions because If I bottle too much it’s like the forth of July. So much explosive thoughts. And it’s scary. But I feel like this song is going to lead me out of the dark and help me get out of this funk or whatever to call it. I just want to recover so I can sleep without the sleep paralysis, dark thoughts,nightmares,insecurities, there’s so much burdening me all at once. When I was 9 a family member tricked me as a kid and touched me, and it stopped when I was 11, but no one in my family knows about it, I’m too scared to tell anyone, because it’s family I don’t wanna be “that person “ it haunts me, and makes me feel disgusting. I had to share a room with my mom and brother in my grandmas living room for 11 years of my life, and it made me feel so insecure because I was embarrassed of how I was living, I was made fun of because I didn’t have money to do things or wear “normal “ clothes. My life has been a hot mess but I’m trying to find ways to think optimistically about it. I’m now living with my boyfriend at 18 and my life has been turned right side up so hopefully this is improvement for enlightenment, anyway point of this comment , this song had me look at all of my hardships and compare it to now, how far I’ve come and how I’m still standing, walking and dealing with my problems like an obstacle course.its comforting so thank you
2 |
As someone who mainly listens to metal music. This hits so hard, so many many more views this deserves.
This song hits my depression to a T. You did perfect with this song.
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@lalasosu3
3 years ago
"Hate when you ask how I’m doing
I know that you’re just assuming
I’m better now" - the ACCURACY... I feel this song on such a personal level. Thank you so much for sharing
81 |