Views : 229,351
Genre: Music
Date of upload: Premiered Nov 25, 2023 ^^
Rating : 4.668 (765/8,462 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2024-05-09T15:11:27.269319Z
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Top Comments of this video!! :3
âWhat would John have had to have doneâŚâ. He groomed her my man. He manipulated her, messed with her head, took things that were precious to her and left her with nothing but shame. Psychological scars are the worst type. You donât trust yourself, you donât trust other people. I think it took her a long time to learn how to trust in a relationship after this.
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it's not "she's not over him" she is definitely over him after 13 years... she wrote would've could've should've when she saw him in an award show. when she saw him years later, she felt angry and wrote this song. she sings about her traumas from that relationship and how she regrets it now..
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It always boggles my mind watching men listen to WCS. Every time I watch a woman react to this song the line âgive me back my girlhood it was mine firstâ leaves them in tears. It still brings to me to tears. Watching men listen to it and not have that same reaction blows me away. I understand, though. For women, our innocence, our girlhood is something we treasure and is idealized so heavily. Giving it up and giving it to someone is a ultimate sign of faith and trust. Having it ripped apart, stolen, or broken is more devastating than men sometimes realize. Itâs not about virginity, but innocence- faith in love and others, faith in men. This song is heart wrenching. Just my thoughts on it.
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Aaron Dessner, who co-wrote and co-produced the song, said she wrote WCS after the 2021 Grammy's and the swifties remembered that Meyer performed that night and put two and two together. I guess seeing him after all those years brought back those memories. Midnights is based on the concept of 'what keeps you up at night' and her relationship with him is one of those things (I believe he tried to groom her, she left before any real damage was done 'I took your matches before fire could catch me', but it still messed her up a lot).
If you pay attention to the lyrics, you'll notice that there are no should'ves in WCS because she used them all in Dear John.
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Interesting fun fact. The same year they broke up Taylor said in an interview that she dated someone who made her promise in email to never wrote a song about him and she was like oh yeah for sure I wonât. Then in this song she specifically makes a point to say âthe girl in the dress, wrote you a song, you shouldâve known.â Iâve always found that fascinating and pretty poetic.
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Considering he never once apologized or held himself accountable for the emotional abuse and trauma he put a young girl through - and the only thing he said upon the rerelease over a decade later was to ask for kindness toward himself - I think means that at his core he has never truly changed. I understand appreciating a personâs talent, but John Mayer has never to this day, in my opinion, been a decent man. This was an interesting reaction to watch, but particularly glad to see growth and perspective from your comments here afterward. All the best đ¤
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I really think unless youâve been groomed or experienced sexual trauma you canât understand wouldâve couldâve shouldâve. I couldnât listen to this song for almost a year after it came out because it would fully trigger me. When youâre young, it hurts like a breakup, and it hurts like anger and sadness, but you canât comprehend the effect it will have on your entire world going forward until you look back years later. This song is Taylor looking back on the last 10+ years and seeing how his ghost has been lurking in every relationship since, how that loss of innocence caused her to lose faith in love, and maybe even in the idea of her own happiness and worth. Sheâs helplessly angry because she realizes that itâs been so long, but the wound he inflicted is still wide open, and no amount of healing or love can close it. He took something from her that she can never get back, and not only is she angry with him about it, sheâs angry at herself for letting it happen, even though she knows he was the adult and should have known better. Unless you have experienced this I truly donât think you can understand what itâs like to put in the work and think youâve moved past something, only to reach a new stage in life and gain the hindsight to be angry and hurt all over again for new reasons. Or even to not realize the trauma inflicted until itâs years down the line and you finally see the effects and now not only are you traumatized but now youâre angry at how that trauma has now tainted your life since. Itâs an incredibly helpless and disheartening feeling, and this song captures it perfectly.
1.6K |
I used to be a huge John Mayer and Taylor Swift fan simultaneously. I always separated the art from the artist, I saw John Mayer live multiple times. I always had thought he changed... "Shadow Days." But then I dated a narcissist myself and I have never been the same. John Mayer is not an "ego addict" he's a malignant narcissist. The first time I heard Would've Could've Should've I cried, because it was everything I felt. The trauma that these people bring into your lives is indescribable, and it's forever. "Memories feel like weapons" hurts the most, when I think back to certain moments where the abuse was bad. I will never listen to John Mayer again, or support him in any capacity. I really hope some of these comments are eye opening to you, thanks for trying to be understanding.
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I don't think that "Would've, Could've, Should've" is about Taylor losing her faith in God because of John. She has identified herself as Christian long after that relationship. I think she feels like it was the relationship that caused her to lose her innocence and her faith in the fairytale, Romeo and Juliet, soul mates forever, kind of love. It killed her sense of childlike wonder about love and the song is her saying she regrets ever letting that relationship take her girlhood away.
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With Wouldâve Couldâve Shouldâve, I donât think it means John made her stop being a Christian (she mentions being Christian in her 2020 netflix documentary). I think it is more of a metaphor of how he took her innocence. Before she was with him she was just a teenager still, 19, who was barely coming into her own in the world and in the music industry. Then she met a grown man, 32, who had a well established music career who probably told her how good she was and how mature for her age she wasâŚand then quickly changed his tune and made her experience a harsh reality of bad men, in the world and in the music industry, who use and manipulate and burnout women into something completely different than the wholesome, optimistic person they used to be. Especially when there is an age gap and power imbalance. So, I think sheâs just trying to emphasize how if she had never met John her life couldâve been very different, she wouldâve felt less violated and betrayed. It seems as if Taylor might have had a hard time learning to trust again after him. âStained glass windows in my mindâ â she still sees those memories in her mind all these years later with the clarity of a picture. âThe tomb wonât close/the wound wonât closeâ â seem like metaphors to Jesusâ story. âNever wouldâve danced with the devilâ âWouldâve stayed on my kneesâ. I donât think he literally made her lose her faith, but I think he left an awful burden on her young mind to bare and deal with the repercussions of in her future relationships. This song was written/released when Taylor was 32, the same age John was when they dated. I imagine she was reflecting a lot at this time. Possibly about how she could never pursue a 19 year old partner the same way he did.
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someone writing songs about someone or situation doesn't always mean they're not over them. taylor is 33 now and realises how gross it is for a 32 year old man to date a 19 year old. trust, nothing is "funny" about writing about such an experience. "john mayer has changed a lot" đđ not the mayer apologist
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Dude, the point of âWouldâve, Couldâve, Shouldâveâ is not the loss of her religious faith; itâs the loss of her innocence and naĂŻvetĂŠ about men, sex, dating, etc. John Mayer is a predatory man who preys on impressionable young women, and he probably coerced her into sex, whether it was all at once or through wearing her down by playing his âdark, twisted gamesâ and gaslighting. End of story. If youâd like a more in-depth look at her songs, Mend With Mere has made a series of videos âTherapist Reacts to âŚâ that explain her lyrics. https://youtu.be/OVjk7hcCkRU?si=pZe2BDRW0J_RYJiK
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As a victim of child sexual assault & an advocate for the local Rape Crisis Center, I can tell you that there is nothing that allows you to just "get over" severe trauma. She wasn't in a relationship with this guy, she was a literal teenager groomed & manipulated by a fully formed adult who continues to date young impressionable girls in their 20s. I'm sure it didn't help that in 2017 she had to go be dehumanized in court against a radio DJ that groped her. Remember to try for empathy especially with anyone's trauma, even if you don't understand it. You understood that there was gaslighting & manipulation in Dear John-just try to think of how that would feel for your Mom, Sister, friend, to have gone thru as a teenager. I'm sure they'd still have to work thru the trauma. She's never stopped believing in God. But the Christian religion expects too much from children. And it's rarely a choice-there's a world of difference between choice & trauma that can absolutely lead to rightful questioning.
Anyway, long way of saying I really enjoyed this & am glad you're continuing to react to Taylor. She is known for making something really deep sound like cute or fun lyrics that are excruciatingly heartbreaking when you truly delve into them. Thanks for continuing to dive into the rabbitholeđ
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@becauseisaac
5 months ago
Most of you have been following Taylor for a while, and know the story much better than I do. All I know is what was in the lyrics, and even then, I tend to miss a lot of stuff in blind reactions because my ADHD brain goes from listening to lyrics, musical composition, mix, master, production, sound design, etc. after reading your comments, I definitely got a better understanding of what happened, and itâs pretty awful. My opinion about John Mayerâs character is definitely not the same as it was. Thanks for your comments and I look forward to hearing more!
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