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82,589 Views ⢠Feb 6, 2024 ⢠Click to toggle off description
Love bombing has been a huge topic of conversation in recent years, and if we take a closer look, we might start to notice that the TV and movie characters who we thought were so lovable and charming are actually doing this too â from self-identified ânice guysâ like How I Met Your Motherâs Ted Mosby to full on bad guys like Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl and Joe Goldberg from You. But what is love bombing, what are the signs, how does it tie into narcissism, and why is this trope in so many TV shows and movies?
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CHAPTERS
00:00 Intro
00:53 What is love bombing?
03:03 Being infatuated with your partner isn't automatically love bombing
03:27 Factor
04:27 Love bombers on screen & why they're not romantic
04:52 Gossip Girl's Chuck Bass
07:08 You's Joe Goldberg
09:46 How I Met Your Mother's Ted Mosby
12:57 So why is love bombing everywhere on screen???
13:57 The bad lessons love bombers can teach us (& how things are changing)
The Take was created by Debra Minoff & Susannah McCullough
This video was produces by Jessica Babineaux, written by Abigail Barr, narrated by Kayah Jardine, and edited by Daniel Wolff
Views : 82,589
Genre: Film & Animation
Date of upload: Feb 6, 2024 ^^
Rating : 4.862 (97/2,713 LTDR)
RYD date created : 2024-05-05T13:28:46.257604Z
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YouTube Comments - 167 Comments
Top Comments of this video!! :3
Note: Do not confuse love-bombers with people whose love language is gifts/acts of service. My former roommate started giving me small gifts shortly after we moved together. At first I thought that she was trying something, but then I realised that she does this to everyone she even remotely likes. đ
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Friendly reminder/warning that love-bombing can happen in platonic relationships too!
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Growing up, both media and life normalised love bombing. It was all about not letting go and the opposite of chillax.
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I thought I wasnât getting love-bombed because there were no dates or extravagant gifts. But it comes in other ways, saying âI love youâ too soon or âIâll never anyone like this againâ or âyou feel like the first time Iâve really been in loveâ. Then boom, they try to control you.
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Every Hallmark movie where the heroine from the big city leaves her long term boyfriend to visit back home and hooks up with an old school friend who has become a hunk. The ex boyfriend isn't at all abusive but has become more a friend and companion than an exciting lover and has to work long hours just to be able to afford where they live in the big city.
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I have never moved on from Chuck selling Blair. HE SOLD HER! How did Blair move on from that?!?!?
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The therapist's diagram of a love-bombing relationship is actually patterned off the Cycle of Violence diagram that domestic violence organizations use to describe abusive relationships.
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my first thought was how when carrie got with aiden and she panicked because she was used to the toxic up and down of big but was in a happy relationship
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Big long post, so be warned đ
I once had a guy friend treat me like I was his perfect girl, and he used to do all sorts of stuff like shower me with gifts---- none of them I asked for---- as well as spending a lot of time with me and having conversations that were insightful and yet still fun. Basically, he was one of my very best friends. But the problem was that I wasnt attracted to him, so it was a 'no' from me. I tried to let him down easy, because I did love him so much as a friend, but his reaction was---- and Im not exaggerating here---- terrifying.
I found out from mutual friends that a lot of the things he claimed to enjoy same as me, he actually would mock and complain about with them (here, I need to point out that they werent hiding his behavior from me.... they just didnt know that he claimed with me to love that stuff). He also wrote a kid's book (still unpublished, thank God) about how a bear (my nickname for him) and a fox (my favorite animal) were inseperable, but one day the fox left and the bear was heartbroken but will 'always wait' for the fox (he also gave me a copy of it to give to my niece to read at bedtime. Yeah.... she never recieved that f**kin' thing). And when I entered into a new relationship, one that made me happy and excited ---- but also felt like a relationship of equals, not one where I felt shoved onto a pedastal with a spotlight on it ---- he not only wasnt happy, he actually showed hostility at people even mentioning my bf's name, let alone his existence.
The final act in this horror show is the sh*t he told other people about me. A lot of our mutual friends would talk to me as if I was the one who dropped him, like I had cut him off completely, and more or less threw his love back in his face and laughed about it. And tbh, he is a loveable guy.... hell, he was one of my best friends once! So its no surprise to me that he has made a lot of people side with him, or at the very least, has portrayed me in a terrible light to them. But I suppose thats what manipulators do, isnt it? Make themselves into victims when they are actually the perpetrators, dare I say the predators....
My point is that love bombers are not only abusive and manipulative when you are in a relationship with them, whether romantic or plutonic; they make you SUFFER when you turn them down.
PS, said love bomber is no longer in my life, and the relationship that I entered into (which he so hated) has become a loving, healthy marriage đ be safe, everyone!
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Also Ross. When Rachel starts to work. He wants âto feel like he has a girlfriendâ. All the giftsâŚ
And no, Lily does calls out Tedâs behaviour. Especially at the beginning. Even MarshalâŚ
And Ted learns. He doesnât seem to love bomb Tracy. I think he doesnât know better. And eventually learns. The whole is about Ted not being ready to actually be in a relationship⌠thatâs what his relationship with Jeannette illustrates. Even Mike Tyson said something about Jeannette being crazy because Ted isâŚ
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Felt like you missed Ross (Friends) in the video... He was a BIG no-no!
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Ted Mosby would do that not only with his girlfriends but also with his friends and people he appreciates, Marshall himself admitted it. We're talking about someone who sold his car or his friend lost his job (well actually Marshall stupidly left it)
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The problem is that many people are not attracted to people who are constantly even tempered and reliable. That is not romantic to them.
The longest lasting relationships are the ones where both do not expect grand gestures nor frills but are comfortable with the silence and the ebbs and flows.
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The thing is, as with ted mosby or ross from friends, it can be unaware/unintentionally done but its still about controll and infectuation with an idea instead of genuine care. Its hard ti stand up to those people cause they thibk they are genuine, you know they do not mean any harm by it, bit that does not make it any less toxic and they need to be called out! What is a clear sign is if the gesture is for an idea of something that looks like a great gesture for you, but actually compleatly ignores what you actually want. Like expensiv gifts, that are not to your taste, things that gonagainst your bounderies, when you told them you did not want it and they did it anyway tjinking they know better cause its "romantic' or whatever.
Lovebombing often coinsides with delusions to some extend, therefor saing it has to be clinically with intention comoleatly misses a mayor point of the whole thing
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My future husband at the time thought I was brainwashed. I gwve him some gifts and gave him all this affection and attention. He got scared at first. So we put the brakes a few times till we found our pace. And I revealed my flaws and he revealed his flaws. Just glad ours ended happy.
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Love is in the air! What a timely topic for the love month as we know it! It is a good thing indeed to finally realise what's been going on since forever and get the right distance from it! No more love-bombing for me, please! Thank you for bringing this to our awareness! Happy February, everyone!)))))
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I knew someone who fell victim to this for up to ten years, I hope they'll able to recover from that.
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Itâs so funny that Ted is like Joe from You. Marshall is so trusting that he WOULD accidentally be bffs with a serial killer.
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There's a conflict of interests. Having a normal person in love with another normal person (both with resonable faults that persist or aren't neatly resolved by the end of the season) without the over the top drama, love demonstrations, cliff hangers, twists, turns, insane highjinks, etc... is realistic, but not engaging TV. On the other hand you can have a show with all of that, but also have behaviors that, in a real life context, are dangerous, damaging and destructive to yourself and/or others.
The problem is that since shows (specially rom-coms) portray characters in a context very similar to real life, the line between what is expectable/desirable for real life and what is just an exageration to make the show work gets blurred.
Apart from Joe in You, none of the characters are portrayed as villains and their behavior is framed as weird but explainable with in the show's universe. That's the main problem, I think, but since having a uncritical view of the world and offering escapism is the main goal of these show (again excluding You) I can't really imagine an episode where the gang tries to question Ted why he's so hung up on finding "the one" and does he really love each of his love interests or just the idea of them? Or an episode in GG where the characters try to talk it out calmly without being the emotional, impulsive teens/ young adults they are.
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