@Hajde_budalla

1 year ago

So in other words, neglect is the worst thing? I had what I would call benign neglectful parents. My dad worked 10-12 hrs a day and came home at 3pm. We had dinner together as a family, but he only had time to garden, read the news , watch the news, and then he was in bed and to sleep by 6pm until he left at 2am again for work.

My mother was homemaking all day and on the phone talking to her family and friends, at night next door playing cards or at bingo. They were both older, 40 & 50, by the time they had their second set of kids, me and my sister, who are less than 2 years apart. I had ADD (f) from childhood, classic symptoms. And my sister doesn’t have it, and she has always been super organized, and makes lists and reminders like a top level professional. But we were neglected the same way.

Additionally as a (undiagnosed) kid I was the smart one, (she was a C student), studied hard ( i didnt realize other kids werent like me), got the advanced classes (not math or science), and the scholarship. Ever since college, the ADD symptoms just got gradually worse and worse with time, but she hasn’t changed, at all.

I just attributed my ADD to my mom and dads advanced ages, or the fact she smoked and hung around smokers. Or because I was born a little premature. She loved us, but never asked us how we were, what we felt, didnt read us books, or put much thought into anything, eg bought coloring books and gave them to us or told us to play outside, didnt really engage too much. We laughed a lot together and listened to my dads stories about his past, but they were old school parents because they were raised that way, it wasnt malicious.

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