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In our everyday lives, we often interchange the terms "reacting" and "responding." Although seemingly similar, these two concepts hold distinctly different meanings when it comes to effective communication, decision-making, and maintaining relationships. Recognizing the difference between reacting and responding can lead to profound changes in how we interact with others and our surroundings.

Reacting is often a subconscious, immediate process triggered by our emotional state. It's more like an instinct/mechanical and less influenced by our conscious mind. For instance, if someone criticizes your work, you might immediately feel upset or defensive—a reaction.

On the other hand, responding involves a more thoughtful process. It requires self-awareness, understanding, and consideration of the situation at hand. Using the same example, a response would be to take a step back, absorb the criticism, consider its validity, and then respond respectfully, whether you agree or not.

So, what are the consequences of reacting versus responding?

When we react, our emotional brain tends to take control, often leading to impulsive decisions and actions that we might regret later. Reacting can escalate conflicts, hurt relationships, and hinder effective communication. It can lead to a domino effect, where one reaction sparks another, creating a cycle of negativity.

In contrast, responding allows our rational brain to take the lead. This approach can diffuse conflicts, build understanding, and promote effective dialogue. Responding gives us a chance to step back and view the situation from different perspectives before deciding the best course of action. By responding, we open the door to empathy, compassion, and thoughtful discussion.

In summary, while it's natural to react, striving to respond can lead to better outcomes. Cultivating mindfulness, emotional intelligence, and self-awareness are key to moving from reacting to responding. It might be challenging initially, but the rewards—stronger relationships, better decision-making, and improved communication—are well worth the effort.


Study Seven Covey's The 89th Habit where he talked about the React and response trigger
Lela Ashkarian/Author/Realtor Florida Keys

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