It is necessary to remind ourselves that feelings are programs; that is, they are learned reactions that have a purpose and that purpose is directly related to achieving some end in the form of some effect on another person’s feelings and, by doing so, to manipulate their behavior toward us and fulfill our own inner goals.

Let us look at the common emotional reactions and examine what their real purpose is. None of these to be described have anything to do with love, for love is a state of oneness with another. It is not an emotion that comes and goes. What passes for love in popular understanding is merely attachment, dependency and possessiveness.

As we shall see, all emotions toward others involve the basic belief that we are incomplete within ourselves and, therefore, others are exploited and viewed as means to an end. Although we may not be able to actually use the other person in the way we would like to, the utilization of the other person still occurs on the level of fantasy and expectation. We also discover that much of what we experience in a relationship is happening in our imagination only.

FACILITATE SATISFACTION
The way to facilitate satisfaction in relationships is to picture lovingly the best possible outcome. Make sure it is mutually beneficial – a win-win situation. Release all negative feelings and merely hold the picture in mind. You can tell if you are really released if it is okay with you if it happens and it is really okay with you if it doesn’t.

Therefore, to be released does not mean to be passive but active in a positive way. When we are released there is no longer the pressure of time. Frustration comes from wanting a thing now instead of letting it happen naturally in its own time. Patience is an automatic side effect of releasing and we know how easy it is to get along with patient people. Also notice that patient people usually get what they want in the end.

The mind has the idea that the way to get a thing is to want it. Actually, if you examine the issue you will see that events are due to decisions and choices based on our intentions. What we get is the result of these choices, even though they are unconscious, rather that what we think we want. When we release the pressure of wantingness, we are clear to make wiser choices and decisions.

We think that our happiness depends on controlling events and that it is facts that upset us. Actually, it is our feelings and thoughts about these facts that are really the cause of the upset. Facts in and of themselves are neutral things. The power we give them is due to our attitude of acceptance or non-acceptance and our overall feeling state. If we get stuck in a feeling, it is because we still secretly believe that it will accomplish something for us.

Releasing will eliminate the obstacles that are in your way, allowing relating to come to you naturally.

IMPROVING SEXUAL RELATIONS
Because of the wide availability of sexual material and opportunities for varied sexual experience, most people nowadays consider themselves rather sexually liberated. This liberation is primarily intellectual and behavioral and there still exists a great deal of emotional and experiential limitation, as well as sensory restriction. All experience takes place within consciousness itself so that sexual experience, like any other, is determined by one’s overall level of awareness and inner freedom.

The degree to which one’s sexual experience has been restricted becomes apparent the more one releases on feelings. When one is totally released on sexuality it is like adding a third dimension to what was before a two dimensional experience. As one woman put it, “It’s like I used to just hear violins, then a cello was added, and then a flute, and so on, so that now the experience is totally full and comprehensive.”

Besides the greater emotional pleasure of freedom of expression, there is a change in the sensory experience itself. To most people, men especially, sexual excitation and orgasmic pleasure are primarily a genital sensation. As one gets freer, the locale of the orgasm begins to expand and spread to the whole pelvis and abdomen, the legs and arms, the whole body.

There is often after this accomplishment a plateau that follows and then suddenly and unexpectedly the orgasmic location expands beyond the body as though the space around the body was having the orgasm instead of the person. Ultimately, there is no limitation of the orgasm. It seems to expand into infinity and be experienced from no particular center or locale. It is as if there is no individual person present. The orgasm is experiencing itself.

Because they are so intimately connected with our basic desires for love and security, relationships quickly bring up our innermost feelings and for that reason they are extremely valuable, no matter whether the relationship is classified as good or bad.
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