@rachellynn1255

2 weeks ago

Omggg i wish i could afford to get this!! I was in a rollover car accident and ejected through the windshield and broke my neck, back, collarbone and several ribs while 6 months pregnant. By the grace of God me and my daughter are still here! She is now an active toddler, and diagnosed autistic. She is very attached to me so she always wants to be held and carried which is extremely hard for me because i can only walk maybe 15 feet carrying her before my back and neck is absolutely burning in pain. So this would be absolutely perfect! Unfortunately, we have been in a homeless shelter since she was born, we are currently subleasing one of their 1 bedroom apartments but we are about to be out on the street here soon. i have yet been able to get disability because its such a long drawn out process and they always deny you first. I was getting temporary cash assistance but it ended in December so i haven't been able to pay rent for Dec, Jan, and now feb. My rent is $450 a month. I was living off of $599 a month since she was born but now im only receiving foodstamps on the 8th of every month. Which i can't wait for since we barely have anything to eat. I don't have a vehicle, and i don't have any support system. I have 5 family members to my name and they're all poor and barely getting by as well. The shelter i rent through are not nice people. They don't help me in anyway. They wouldn't even get my kids anying for christmas. People from the community adopt families from the shelter for christmas. I was told to write a list for me whose 29, and my 3 young children. When christmas came they only dropped off 1 gift for my toddler which was a small wooden doll house, and individually wrapped pieces of clothes which was 2 of the same shirt both the wrong size, then a t-shirt again wrong size, them a 4 pack of long socks. And nothing for my other two. I didn't care about myself not getting anything because im used to it. Growing up my parents didn't celebrate Christmas, halloween, birthday's, literally any holidays. Except for Thanksgiving, they always went to the food pantries and got what they could and my dad would cook dinner. 9 times out of 10 my mom was in her room either nodding in and out making crazy sounds and movements like clapping or in a rage throwing everything in sight and screaming, cutting her wrist in front of us kids screaming shes going to end herself and its all our fault and saying horrinle things like how she tried to run her pregnant stomach into the wall to kill me. (Im the youngest out of 12 kids, 5 of which are my moms 4 with my dad and then 1 she had when she was 15 who is my half brother and SA me from the age of 3 that i can recall until my mom walked in and caught him in the act when i was 5 and that's when she did the right thing and had him sent to PA to live with her mother aka my "grandmom" although she's never been in my life. But, the rest are my dads kids from his ex wives) regardless of all the hell I've lived through, i don't let it define me. Its made me be the complete opposite of my parents/family. No matter what i will always go out of my way wnd celebrate all holidays and birthday's! I also make sure to celebrate everyday together and tell my kids i love them all throughout the day and night. Cuddle and kiss them on their heads and tell them they will always be mama's baby. I tell them how beautiful and smart they are. I stop in the moment and play barbies. I make sure they're bathed, hair done, clean cute clothes, matching head to toe going to school or anywhere. My parents didn't do any of that. I have very curly hair so in 6th grade i wore a hood up all year long cause my hair was so badly matted. Me and my teacher were very close because she knew how bad my home life was. So she went to the principal in the middle of the school day and got the principal to take over her class and my teacher drove me to her house and brushed my hair out using penut butter and mayo lol then afterwards washed my hair out bent over the tub with Pantene i remember it smelling so good. All we ever had was the $1 suave or Vo2 that dried out my already dry coarse hair. Anyways, although i feel like my life is falling apart and i can never catch a break.. i have hope and faith in God that things will work out in the end. I will continue to be a good person, helping anyone in need. That's one thing people say is a problem i have. I will see on Facebook or be asked by someone for help or to find help with food or clothes and they usually always have kids, so many many times i have given away lots of nice kids clothes, shoes. My shoes, makeup, purses, jewelry, hygiene items, clothes. I have split all the food in my house with people. A few weeks ago a mom with 2 small girls 3 & 9 i split all the food i had, gave them blankets, clothes, hats and clothes. I have always saved all of my childrens stuff so whenever anyone needs certain sizes i would usually have it. At christmas time i donated so much stuff that helped out 5 families in need. I just genuinely love helping others. I have integrity, i will never make a Facebook post saying look at me! Look what i did! No way! I know what I've done and so does God. People have helped me and my kids with clothes and food, complete strangers. I know how it feels to be given a blessing like a coat, food, shoes, etc. So i will always return the favor. If i had the money i would open up a non profit thrift store that also has another location that homes women and children and theyre able to work at the thfidt store. I have a dream to help others, especially affected by addiction and want a new way of living. Ive lost so many friends and family to addiction. I will fight back one day and save other's. I pray to find a job from home and work towards my dreams. Im 29 and have never been able to afford a car. I've never owned a car. Thankfully social services did pay for my driver's ed which was $400! Or else i would have never gotten it done. I have an appointment tomorrow to apply for energy assistance because i have a cut off notice for February 7th because my electric bill is over $300 😩 anyway, i doubt anyone will read this but if you do just know i really needed to "write" all of this down and get it off my chest. Sadly i could go on and on and about way way worse traumatic and abusive situations ive been through. But one day i will write a NY best seller based on my life and then they will probably make a movie because ive been through so much and that's why everyone i know like my neighbors who ive told my story to, always say I'm such an angel and such a patient person and wonder how after all the hell ive been through how did i become such a calm, kind, loving person. I always tell them it wasn't like this. When i was a teenager i was drinking heavily and was very angry at everyone and the world. I would blame my mom for her son SA'ING me for so many years, and how dysfunctional she made our lives. I grew up in a doublewide trailer which was the only trailer in my whole entire area. The roof had holes in it. Mold and mildew everywhere. My dad was a hoarder. The house woule always be filthy. I had all older friends in their late 20s when i was 13 and up, so they would come over and see my room was the only clean, nice looking room in the house. They would see and hear all the chaos from my family which would be scary for some, and everyone always told me "you're not like your family" "you're family is fucked up but you're different and it's up to you to break the cycle" shew bringing tears to my eyes right now! But from a young age i knew how badly i wanted to be a mom so i could have someone of my own that needed me and loved me unconditionally, and this is a fact! I babysat newborn babies from the age of 7! I practically raised these 4 siblings who had crackhead parents, many times i would be left with multiple kids and babies for days at a time with no food in then house. I lived a few houses down and would sneak in my house which many times barely had any food either. So i started making these cinnamon sugar twist to feed the kids. Using flour to make dough then roll them long and twist them, then heating up cooking oil and frying them then after rolling them in cinnamon and sugar. They still bring them up to this day. The oldest is now 22 and a new mom. She sent me a message thanking me for loving her and her siblings and keeping them safe. (There was a lot of physical abuse between their mom n dad in front of them) i would shield them and take them to safety. I was a kid myself and so afraid but i knew i had to protect them. I will always do what's right in a situation that's wrong 💯 anyway, God bless from Maryland!

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