Phrases like "you are making me..." puts a tone of blame and guilt on it.

💗 I avoid it for 2 reasons:
1. I am responsible for my own emotions, my child is way too little to carry with that blame in her shoulder.
2. With that, I teach her how to become a people pleaser, and you can notice it because of the intention behind it.

Now, I do express the way I am feeling, NOT with the INTENTION of making my daughter do or say something to please me, BUT to teach her about feelings and give her ideas of how to cope with them.

This sounds something like: "I feel frustrated, I am going to take a walk to feel better".

Notice that I am expressing my feeling, but I am not putting any blame/guilt on my child.

👉🏼 Here are some more ideas:

💥 Instead of
"you're making mommy really mad right now!"
✅️ Try:
"I feel frustrated, I am taking a glass of water to calm down."

💥 Instead of
"It makes me so sad when you hit me"
✅️ Try:
"I can't let you hit me. I'm going to put you down to keep my body safe. It's ok to be upset - I'm here "

💥 Instead of
"Make mommy happy and finish your food"
✅️ Try:
"Are you done? Okay, you know your body best"

💥 Instead of
"It breaks my heart when you say mean things to me"
✅️ Try:
"wow those are some big words I hear. You must be very upset."