@KimiSuzukiTheJosukeStan

7 months ago

Watching this I realizes how similar we are. I’m always impatient, and I always show it. I’m always loud and obnoxious because I hate quiet. It pisses me off, it makes me uncomfortable. I’ve always been jealous and self centered, and I was too foolish to see it. I’ve always been lonely, everyone says I have so many friends, and how I must be lucky to have it all. I never had anything. I have like two actual friends, and all the other people I talk to are either assholes or we’re falling apart due to out differences. I’ve always been childish, and people make fun of me for it. They think I’m a joke. I just laugh and shake it off. I just say, “it’s ok.” It’s not ok. I don’t want it to be. It shouldn’t be. I don’t want to be this way. I don’t want to hate myself. I don’t want to be selfish, greedy, rude. I don’t want to be looked over. I want to be loved by someone, and not have to be called a child because of it. I want to be held. I want to fit in. I want to be seen as the person I really am, not the rude and selfish person people say I am. I want to be seen, understood. I don’t want to have to lie to myself. I don’t want to have to lie to them. I’m not a bad guy. They say I like to be the bad guy. But I never did. I don’t want to. I don’t know why I fight. Why I yell. Why I scratch my walls. Why there’s punch marks everywhere in my house. Why I have severe anger issues. I want them to understand. Is that so hard to ask?

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