@gimmeehands1

7 months ago

I was 14 in 1991 and in LA in a hood. Banging then was a lot different than today. We didn’t have the internet first of all. No cellphones. A mission meant going INTO your enemy’s hood. You had just as much of a chance dying just going outside as you did on a mission because if you weren’t on a mission at that time there were a thousand other fools that were. I think about how drive by’s were such a normal thing everyone I knew had either been in or done at least one. Now that I’m an adult I look back and realize how crazy it was. We didn’t just have gang members, graffiti was huge and they turned into tag bangers. Even the skaters, punks and metal heads had gangs. That some lost LA history a lot of people don’t know about. It was a lot different but I can promise you I know kids younger than me at that age (I was 13 when I got jumped in) that would’ve shot Cmac in a second. We had a little moment where we started seeing the older homies start tweaking and smoking and trying to punk us. A lot of vets were put in the ground by the kids that used to idolize them. I’ve been shot at multiple times, 3 enemies caught me slipping once and I paid for it l, I got stabbed 14 times in that one incident and lost a lung for it. I didn’t die though, I didn’t go to jail and I stood my ground. All in all it was just another day in LA. They subpoenaed me to testify and when I refused they put out a warrant for my arrest. I never even showed up to court so no one could even say I was there. Snitching was a no no. No they don’t bang like we did. They do bang though. Just not like we did. I can’t say who did it better, I’m not with them but I know we lost a lot. Some are still losing a lot from those days either in the ground or still serving life in the levels. Then there’s the ones like me that are lucky to be alive and outside with my memories, that when I start remembering those days again, it’s young kids riding bikes going to the beach like other kids. Only difference was we were put in a place where driveby’s were normalized, prison was college, drugs, alcohol and gangs were a right of passage and loyalty was important. It comes back sometimes and I don’t realize I’ve been tracing scars on my body with my finger tips until something brings me back. Honestly I can still smell the city back then. If I try hard enough I can remember the feeling of walking out the door at dusk not knowing what my future held but fully knowing I might not make it home this time. Sometimes I don’t think I did make it home. There’s still parts of me left on those streets. Pieces of a child that didn’t know parents on drugs wasn’t normal. That guns and gangs wasnt like a video game. That getting locked up and proving you were down was a good thing to be proud of. All these people so hateful of gangs and gang members have a right to hate them. But don’t judge them. You have no idea the warped reality, lies, false love mixed with fear, being poor and wanting to be accepted and loved by your friends because you were all going through the same things, what that was like. We just wanted better and that was the only option presented to us as kids. How different would you have been if it was you? How can you do something else when there is nothing else shown to you?

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