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Control & Panic: How Coaches Break the Uncertainty–Anxiety Cycle



Every one of your clients has survival needs, psychological needs that they have to meet, and one of those survival needs is certainty. Certainty is just a need for predictability, stability, comfort, control, lots of different words that basically mean the same thing. The challenge with certainty is that when someone values certainty a lot, every time their life is a little less certain, or the career is a little less certain, or there's a sense that certainty might be under threat or.
Go down To some extent, fear shows up because fear is the motivational force that pushes humans to pursue certainty. When we're afraid, we try to create plans when we're afraid or anxious. We try to create predictability. We we push for stability. So fear and certainty are kissing cousins in a way. Fear is just the emotion that someone who's highly certainty driven tends to feel on a regular basis.
So when you have a client. Who's deeply afraid or has a lot of anxiety, it's very likely that they're overvaluing certainty. They're deeply driven by certainty, and until they change that, they're probably not gonna get out of fear and anxiety.

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In our journey to understand human psychology and behavior, one fundamental aspect stands out: every individual has essential survival and psychological needs. Among these, the need for certainty plays a pivotal role. Certainty represents a demand for predictability, stability, comfort, and control—different words that essentially boil down to the same necessity for mental security.

Understanding the Role of Certainty

Certainty is more than just a preference; it's a fundamental requirement that influences our choices and behaviors. For many clients, certainty is not only crucial but significantly impacts various areas of their lives. When certainty is diminished, whether in life or career, clients often feel threatened. This perceived threat can trigger a cascade of emotional responses.

The Fear Behind Certainty

One critical aspect that emerges from an overemphasis on certainty is the presence of fear. Fear acts as a motivational force that compels individuals to strive toward achieving the safety net that certainty provides. When fear arises, people often respond by creating detailed plans and striving for predictability to restore a sense of stability.

This reaction creates a close relationship between fear and certainty—like "kissing cousins," to consider them as such. Consistently experiencing fear may indicate that someone places a high value on certainty. As a result, individuals who are strongly driven by a need for certainty tend to feel fear frequently.

If you encounter clients who regularly experience fear or anxiety, it’s important to consider their potential overvaluation of certainty. Their strong desire to control outcomes and avoid unpredictability may be what drives their anxiety. Helping clients recognize this connection is crucial for facilitating their journey toward overcoming fear.

Understanding this dynamic can be transformative in a counseling or coaching context. Encouraging clients to explore and possibly redefine their relationship with certainty may pave the way for reducing anxiety and fear, leading to healthier coping strategies and improved wellbeing.

The interplay between certainty and fear is a powerful force in your clients' lives. By acknowledging and addressing the deep-seated need for predictability, we can support clients in mitigating fear and anxiety. As they learn to balance their need for certainty with flexibility and openness to life's uncertainties, they position themselves for personal and emotional growth.