open dyslexic mode

This clip from the Psychobabble podcast resonated with me, particularly in light of the emails I've received from parents expressing their concerns about their children's behavior and mood deterioration when they tried what they believed were "compassionate" parenting approaches. A theme amongst these families is that their children's behavior worsened, and some experienced a sharp rise in anxiety.

This concern is particularly prevalent among parents who engage with social media content that promotes connection and empathy over essential parenting skills. It is not specific to those who follow (the loosely defined term) "Gentle Parenting." While fostering a nurturing environment is vital, it's equally important for parents to assert their authority in ways that benefit their children.

"Parental Empathy Dysregulation" manifests when parents misinterpret empathy as treating their child as an equal partner in parenting while simultaneously engaging in parental accommodation. While this approach can foster feelings of connection, it may not always serve the child's best interests.

For children, especially those with ADHD, having clear relationships defined by limits and boundaries is crucial. What I teach parents is that children with ADHD can thrive when they experience "high empathy combined with high expectations."

Children with ADHD are often incredibly caring and empathetic. Yet, they may need guidance in understanding how their actions and words affect others. Remember that all relationships require a degree of reciprocity, which can be overshadowed by the belief that "empathy and feelings take precedence over everything." This mindset can make it challenging for children to navigate social interactions, as their peers may struggle to appreciate their great attributes if they don't learn to consider the needs of others.

By supporting our children in developing empathy and an understanding of boundaries, we can help them thrive in their relationships and feel more confident in who they are. Let's ensure our approach to parenting fosters both compassion and the necessary skills to navigate the world around them.

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ADHD Dude provides parent training through the ADHD Dude Membership Site, in-person school-year programs, and summer camps. ADHD Dude is not gender-specific content.

𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗 𝗗𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗥𝘆𝗮𝗻 𝗪𝗲𝘅𝗲𝗹𝗯𝗹𝗮𝘁𝘁, 𝗟𝗖𝗦𝗪, 𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗-𝗖𝗖𝗦𝗣
Ryan is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified School Social Worker, and father to a son with ADHD & learning differences. ADHD Dude is based in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗷𝗼𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗 𝗗𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆:
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