@MikejMartin

1 month ago

Please pray for me. It’s like I’m unregenerate “ hating God” but being Against the things he’s done, tyrant kindof thoughts. Was never like this before. Keep trying to repent and believe but it doesn’t change my heart. Try and remind myself of the gospel and how that’s supposed to “change me and help me love holy, which it’s not. Heard it said that if God loves me unconditionally than I want to be more for him, not the case because I believe I’m hated by him and not in Christ. Don’t have any type of relationship with him where I can confidently approach him in his presence instead I’m condemned by him. Living as an unbeliever, my fruits don’t line up. I’m really hopeless. And yes I’ve talked to pastors. This is all to complicated for me, I was once good with all the above and now I’m not, I’m defeated. Absolutely no confidence in my standing before God. Don’t ever obey him and when I do there’s no right motivation, no joy of what he’s done for me in his son, that would lead to joyful obedience. Can’t believe this has happened to me of all people it’s not good. I try and pray to his genuinely yet no change, pray to him God you promised if I come to you, you won’t cast me out, you promised to reason with me to have some sort of meeting with me come let us reason together says the lord. You’re said I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, you said come buy wine and milk without money and without price. I’m praying this to him. I don’t think I’m elect if I were I think something would happen, I’ve asked for people to pray for me nothing has happened. It’s dark. I believe in the devils lies that Gods against me, I don’t believe I’m his child I would be living different I don’t get any joy from “being adopted into his family” I have a spirit of fear not of adoption. Don’t know what else I can do, seems to be nothing I can do to change gods mind about me. Thanks for reading

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