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197,673 Views • Dec 19, 2023 • Click to toggle off description
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Date of upload: Dec 19, 2023 ^^
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YouTube Comments - 162 Comments
Top Comments of this video!! :3
Interesting theory. I think part of it is that social media has opened up a wide world of possible groups to identify with that it has created a Paradox of Choice situation where children have difficulty of anchoring themselves to a solid identity. I believe that it is only once a person experiences the limitations of being confined in a socially-determined box that personal identity development and discovery occurs in response to said social pressures.
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we created a terrible environment for our children so we should stop blaming *them*. this is the first step
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This desire to belong to a group is prevalent amongst teenagers but it's also prevalent amongst adults. Things like political, sports team, and other group affiliations. It's a human trait carried on from far back in history when group affiliations and acceptance increased our chances of survival against the elements.
I also think that there is the desire for people to be idolized these days. It's not just about belonging to a group and being accepted but trying to stand out and admired for being unique. This can also be where the confusion with identity occurs.
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This is true for every generation. It's always the older generation who's saying "kids these days...". In fact, there's evidence for it. Historians compared texts from multiple different generations, as far back as when the press for printing books was invented, and older generations were literally saying:
"Younger generations these days are weak, insecure and never present in the moment. Instead of talking with their families and being social and present - they're just staring at their books all day!" (This was when books became available to the public.)
Then a few generations later it was: " Kids these days are not present, they're staring at their magazines all day!".
Then after a few generations:
"Kids these days are never present, they're just listening to their radios all day!"
Then "Kids these days are staring at their TV's all day!"
And finally "Kids these days are just staring at their phones all day!"
You can look it up, from the beginning of time older generations were always convinced that whatever new thing the younger generations liked was going to rot their brains, make them weak (even when kids were fighting in wars), make them less social, less present etc.
Every one of these historical texts were written the same way today's older generations write about younger generations, the only difference is that sometimes it was books, sometimes magazines, radios, phones etc.
This really changed my mind on a lot of things, and I realised that older generations will always be afraid and weary of anything new.
I suggest you read about it more as I can't convey the message as good as original texts.
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Anyone who thinks there is status in trauma or neurodivergence doesn’t have these things to deal with.
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I believe belonging is important but belonging to oneself is a tall order. We have lived in social groups for as long as humans existed. I don't necessarily think that the penultimate strategy is to make people more independent and individualistic.
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Bro, I respect a lot of stuff you've said and written but this ain't it. People ain't neurodivergent for a sense of community or to receive attention and people with genuine gender identity issues ain't doing it for those reasons either. And where are you pulling that talk of status from? Perhaps because kids in advantaged backgrounds have the time and space to explore who it is that they are and can pay for things like therapy that'd diagnose them with whatever issues they may be facing?
28 |
The problem is identified well, but the dude's answer "make them identify with themselves" is so misguided. Answering that we need to overthrow the ingrained feelings ain't it. We need to have kids encouraged to find groups; to provide options. More outside-school options, be it sports, clubs, or activities. Instead, we sorta half do it, and they learn how to ghost everyone very effectively.
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Lack of diverse ideas and experiences has led to a lack of emotional control.
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The main sad take away from this for me is that this apparently isnt obvious to everyone
It must be the [insert scapegoat here]!!!
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I think he needs to think harder.
Easily available entertainment = lower threshold for boredom & more scrolling.
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You should have a talk with Dr. K.
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We are genetically pre-programed to operate in a heard. If kids don't get acceptance from the heard near them, they go for the one online. We seek the heard for security and when we age we become less dependent on the heard. If you don't want kids to join the online heard, make the RL heard suck less. The problem is not online. The problem is the people running the RL heard looking for excuses instead of improving heard quality.
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Yikes. Social media is not making kids question their gender identity, they are seeing people like them and being more honest and comfortable with people around them that they trust.
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I also believe the earlier personality theorist, Carl Rogers, that in order for people, especially kids to feel more secure in themselves is through being love and receive unconditional positive regard from their parents/caregivers who they look up to. Having a safe and secure environment as a child where ur parents love u unconditionally, really helps kids not to seek out unhealthy coping mechanisms by seeking that love from someone else or elsewhere.
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I've always belonged to myself, but finding like-minded people ur friends --> much harder!
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I think Jordan peterson said it best in that there are psychological epidemics that constantly pop up every few generations or so. If one person feels as if they have an identity crisis and another relates, especially if you have a fractured mindset, then people will lean towards that belief for a sense of relief. The next generations then become skeptical, and it dies down. Ergo, it doesn't have to be generational, it can also be tribal.
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Neurodivergent teen with a gender identity here: I've absolutely noticed that I talk about my groups online far more than I do with friends, and though part of it is definitely that no one online actually knows the other person and so these things have to be established in some conversations, we're also less focused on working to belong when we already have that sense of belonging in our day to day
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Who edits these shorts? Would love to follow them on Twitter.
Great stuff Mark!
8 |
@trenchrock
5 months ago
People are so afraid to be alone and don't know how to validate their own self-worth
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