Here is some dating advice for any gender, coming from a conventionally unattractive dude.

Let’s go over five one-word nouns to describe the crux of your struggles.

Noun #1:
Emotions.

You are severely mentally unstable and flaking constantly.
You think you’re unworthy.
You’re frustrated after ten years of dating struggles
Scheduling plans is HARD; screw it, I’m staying in!
You just don’t want to get ready!

All of these thoughts and feelings, so emotional, running through your head. No wonder you can’t land a date. Even if you did manage to schedule something, your emotions would self-sabotage you for eternity, flaking one date after another.

You can’t get emotional with dating, at least not in the beginning. Get out of your head and approach your dates with a positive mindset.

Think of it this way:
I’m going out tonight. No matter what happens, I’m out to have fun. If the other guy or gal flakes, I’m still going to have fun tonight.

You’re placing less value on the dating outcome, and more value on living a fun life. A laid back approach will do you wonders.

For those looking to get married on the first date, it’s the same thing. Don’t put so much pressure on people to be serious right away.

Relax. Have fun.

Noun #2:
Idealism.

The world is so full of itself in the 21st century. There, I said it.

You have this ideal of what a man or woman should be, and if they aren’t Brad Pitt or Amy Adams, you’re dissatisfied. You think you deserve the guy in a Bentley or the perfect housewife, but your expectations are so out of touch with reality that you missed the good one driving the Honda Civic.

In all likelihood, you are seeking a man or woman who represents 0.00001% of reality, and I’m being generous with the stat.

Before you even go on date #1, you know more about your date than their mom. You are judging and dissecting every little text character and emoji, every little audio message, every little phone/video call, waiting for the smallest red flag to call it off.

Here’s an idea:
Go date a homeless man or woman. Go date a smoker or alcoholic. I’m half joking, half being honest here. You don’t know how good your potential date is until you see the world with clear vision.

I’ve ranted before about social media, dating apps, TV, and pop culture generally twisting our worldviews. Not all of us can be Justin Bieber and land Selena Gomez. But guess what? That lady next door could be your Selena.

Noun #3:
Invisibility.

More people are isolated and alone than ever before. I don’t see this getting any better, as today’s generations are skipping any kind of social lifestyle. It’s just easier to stay in tonight!

You’re not going to get any dates by watching Netflix all day. I went for a run this morning and saw over a dozen women who could be potential first dates. I was VISIBLE!

If you take up a hobby, like swimming or Dungeons and Dragons, you will meet people. Meeting people is all you need.

If you’re the more introverted, shy type like me, then use the apps. Be visible on there. For you women out there, the apps are EXTREME visibility, get ready.

Noun #4:
Appearance.

Your appearance to the world is a mess. People take one look at you and run away. Date #1? You wish.

Now I’m not saying you’re a hairy monster and no one will date that. No, many women like beards and Gandalf. Some men too. I’m saying your appearance gives off the feeling that you don’t want to be here and you don’t know who you are. Figure out your true identity and show it.

What am I getting at here..

So say you’re a nerd and you tell people you’re a super athlete football linebacker. Who you appear to be and what you think you are need to be aligned!

Just because you like Star Wars doesn’t mean you should be dishonest and hide that nerdy fact! Appear to be who you really say and think to be!

This goes for the real world, social media, the dating apps, all of the above.

I suppose you could toss around “appearance” with “confidence”, but I don’t really think you need to be confident to get a date. If you’re socially anxious and low in self-esteem, own it. Make jokes about it. Don’t let it hold you back from getting that date.

Noun #5:
Hygiene.

If you are really really smelly all the time, like the scent of the Las Vegas strip, I just don’t know how your date is going to stay put for long.

Okay, in all honesty, hygiene isn’t going to hold you back from a first date. It will ruin your chances at a second though. Since the title of this content is about getting “dates” = plural, you need to keep those smells at bay.

Here are the basics:

Brush your teeth.
Keep things neat.
Control the body odour.
Wash clothing.
Buy new non-smelly clothing.
Use a deodorant and/or cologne.

Just do the bare minimum to have a chance here.

Conclusion.

That’s it! You are now a dating master. Just remember to live your best life without worry, and things will work out.

Get out there you.

#dating #datingadvice #shorts #relationships #datingtips