@FDroid01

3 months ago

I mean, a doula is not nothing and his reasons were not explained. A hospital birth is very, very expensive -- but you're also not really expected to pay it all yourself. They overcharge intentionally so they can write it off on their taxes. It's such a common practice that the three major credit bureaus and even the legal system treat medical debt much more leniently.

This is clearly a complicated situation and I'm not sure anyone involved had all the facts on the table.

That's a big shame for all of them. As adults they should practice better and clearer communication.

I highly doubt if being at home with a doula made the difference between the mom being happy to see their baby or not. She's putting her resentment on their new child on a way. That's not right or fair to that baby. The mom should definitely think through her resentment critically so that she can be fair to everyone.

The dad's wishes concerning his baby are important, and with the reasons not being specified I'm guessing they're something the mom would get shamed for not respecting -- ergo something cultural.

This is one side of a complex matter, so I'm not sure enough to say anyone's in the right or wrong.

I'm sure enough to say, though, that I would have definitely taken my wife to the hospital. I don't care much for cultural traditions. I care about what's actually good. I think home birth is absolutely okay, especially with a doula. Since I'm ambivalent and my wife has a strong preference, the rational thing for me to do would be to give my wife her preference.

I wish I knew more about the dad's reasons for wanting an assisted home birth. I may not be a man of tradition, but traditions are one thing I really love to study about.

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