in the future - u will be able to do some more stuff here,,,!! like pat catgirl- i mean um yeah... for now u can only see others's posts :c
Hey friends,
I just want to say; if any of my words, posts & content here ever come off as too much or even triggering, I really apologize. None of it is directed at anyone at all. Iām fully aware that what I say can feel intense or overbearing. But thatās honestly part of what this channel is about; walking that fine line between getting thrown with trash⦠or offering something thatās actually helpful.
I'm still learning. Iām always trying to get better ā in how I speak, how I write, and how I communicate. If I ever cross a line or itās just too much, feel free to give me honest, constructive feedback. I genuinely want to learn & check myself.
This channelās whole point is to open up space for the tough stuff ā the topics that make us feel vulnerable, raw, or exposed. Iām not trying to be some saint or guru ā far from it. Iāve done some real dark shit in my life. The only reason Iām here sharing anything at all is because I feel like I owe it to life. Big time. ā to give back, to help, so that maybe others donāt repeat the mistakes Iāve made.
Truth is, I started this whole thing because of one huge, irreversible mistake ā something I did that Iāll never fully forgive myself for. It cost a friend's life. And now, I feel like part of my responsibility is to face that shadow head-on. To speak on it. To not let it stay buried.
So yeah, if my posts or words ever feel like ātoo much,ā please know:
Itās never coming from a place of malice. Iām not judging you. Iām just working through my own truth out loud, and hoping it'll help even a small percentage of ppl out there.
Much love,
Ken
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I didn't realize I switched into hyper reflective mode all day! Sorry about the sensitive posts guys! I may need to ground my self at McDonalds right now! (for real).
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A Crazy Story That Changed My Life ā From a Monk in a Psych Ward
Ok, this might sound a bit woo-woo, but bear with meābecause itās something that impacted me massively.
About 10 years ago, I was going through a rough period. Iād been through psychiatrists, therapists, and psychologists. Iād been labeled with a bunch of mental health disorders and prescribed meds that left me numb for years. To this day, I still have side effectsālike blurred vision.
During that time, I was admitted to a psychiatric facility. And one day, a traveling monk from Thailand visited. He looked me dead in the eyes and said:
"You donāt have a mental illness. Your heart is just DEEPLY dark & murky." Bc of substances, resentment, disappointment, lies, lies to self, doubts, and all those good stuff.
Who tf is this guy judging me?? I was massively offended & furious! I cursed him out with every word I could think of (in my mind š). But he just smiled and left.
The next day, he came back. This time, he brought me food and a simple black Swatch watch. I rejected both out of pure anger. He stayed there. But eventually, something in me cracked. My heart shattered into a million pieces.
And he just smiled again. And I took the watch and had a meal with him.
He didnāt lecture me. He didnāt preach. He just showed meāthrough his genuine kindness and presenceāthat all that pain, bitterness, and hate⦠it was living inside me. I wasnāt broken. I was blindly projecting. I was just carrying too much darkness in my heart. It was heavily calcified.
That moment changed everything.
Since then, Iāve been practicing what he taught meādaily, quietly and personally. Clearing the heart. It doesnāt have to be spiritualāit can be anything that helps you align your: thoughts, words, actions, and intent. But everything HAS to be aligned. It's hard! But it goes long long ways
Thatās what he said before leaving back to Thailand:
āThe heart is like white linen. Life will stain it. But if you regularly wash itāby aligning your thoughts, words, action, and intentāyou keep it clear.ā
I still f*ck up. Big time. But my heart feels light. Even through the darkest of days. That monkās kindness saved me more than any medication ever did. I havenāt needed meds or therapy in over 10 years. And Iām not saying thatās everyoneās pathābut it was mine. My healing wasnāt just about the mind. It was about the Heart.
I still wear the same watch he gave me. (It's worn out!)
(PS: This story is just something that happened to me and changed me. If it resonates, thatās beautiful. If it doesnāt, thatās totally cool. Sending out positive vibesš¤āļø)
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"Highwayman," written by Jimmy Webb,Ā explores the idea of one soul taking on multiple lives and experiences throughout history.Ā The song follows the same spirit as a highwayman, a sailor, a Hoover Dam worker, and, a captain of a starship, and finally a drop of water, highlighting the cyclical nature of life and the enduring spirit of humanity."
Absolutely beautiful song & lyrics. This one's my favorite versionĀ
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Ok looks like I'm going though another dark night of the soul. I think this is the 3rd time. No wonder the energetic flactuatuations are like crazy..
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I used to have this as a ringtone way back. My friends would laugh at me š
It's still a lovely tune though
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I'm Ken. I talk about music, creativity, productivity, consciousness & the obscureš
Iām a musician, producer, audio engineer, occasional DJ, & a major YouTube geek. I'm the brains behind "Midnight Savari", an electronic dance music project I started in 2010. I also run an audio production business called Mockular Studio.
If you have any questions or inquiries, feel free to shoot my mail
ken.adhitya.s@gmail.com
Best,
Ken