My name is Sejanus Starsinger. I live in Canterlot and I've had seven heart attacks, all imagined. I was deeply unhappy but I didn't know it, because I was too busy being happy all the time. I have a favorite quote about Canterlot by The Bard: "This other Elysium... demi-paradise... this precious stone... set in the silver sea.... this earth, this realm... this Canterlot!" Anyway, this is what happened to me, and I swear, it's all true...